Question on maintenance for my mum.

Frugal_Fox

Thank you for your comments. I hope I did not come across as being harse I just wanted people to remember why I posted in the first place! Quite frankly I'd love to get £1000 each month just for being married! However mum hasn't had it easy and yes, it is going to be a good income once the house is paid off and should support her later in life (unless she has mad designs on expensive shoes ).

To further complicate matters she had last month asked her employer if she could go down to 4 days a week. She isn't in the best of health and has had a couple of very serious bouts of depression leading to a couple of failed suicide attempts. Fortunately fate has led us to discover her, and we had a tough decision last time on whether she ought to have been sectioned. In the end we opted not to. This has taken her down again. I love her and need her and although I understand my dad can reduce her maintenance as he has done I feel he has done it the wrong way. If anything happened to mum I know for certain my youngest sister would stop talking to him. Took us 7 years to pursuade her to get back in contact with him after he left home.

As the eldest I feel most responsible for my mum and my sisters. My mum feels bad about the drop in income as she always takes her mum out (almost 80) every weekend for a drive in the country, something that will have to go to just once a month. Mum feels bad for having to do this.

Please don't think I'm trying to justify an extravagent life on the back on my mums divorce. I lead a far from extravagent life.... feeling very flush today cause I've just bought some new emery boards!!!! I'm happy for the discussion to move off topic - but please, not at the expense of my mum. Dad can afford the maintenance. The maintenance isn't index linked, and so wil reduce in 'value' as it 'matures', but its what was agreed. Thanks for all the help and we hope the friendly letter keeps the amicable relationship going. Anyway I can always help my mum with budgeting!!! I'm known as the 'cheapskate' in the family! Methinks I harp on about MSE too much.....

savagevixen

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

SV I know that you and Broken Hearted have been having rows on the Bankruptcy board but bringing it over here seems to me to smack of some kind of cyber stalking. I've had to stop reading the bankruptcy board because of the unpleasant nature of your comments there and the way in which you've been stirring up trouble. Please don't bring your attitude over to this thread. We may have been disagreeing on issues but the discussion has been courteous up until now and I for one would like it to remain so.

I actually was not cyber stalking and found the comment as I described it to be. How dare you imply that it is 'solely me stirring up trouble on other boards. I am disappointed in your comments, I thoughts far better of you.

I did not mean to be so ubrupt, I just very seriously felt like that comment was extremely unhelpful, I relise now that mine was also and I apologise.
I cannot see how a family of four can mange on £1000 per month for everything. My rent is £700, council tax £130, so that would leave £170 for elec/gas/food/clothes etc. So I genuinely did not feel it was a helpful comment, I just should have better explained myself.

Katie~baby

Again different people have different situations. She stated she has to live on less than £1000 and thats her business how she pays for things but i can imagine being a family of 4 its a complete struggle so she does not need judging.

savagevixen

Katie~baby wrote: »

Again different people have different situations. She stated she has to live on less than £1000 and thats her business how she pays for things but i can imagine being a family of 4 its a complete struggle so she does not need judging.

Yes you are right in a sense, but instead she should be supported and encouraged to apply for benefits and Tax Credits and visit https://www.entitledto.co.uk, because although she states this and it is truly admirable, she is definately missing out on some financial support as a family of 4 are not expected to live on £12000 per year.
For this reason, that it is clearly way below any normal amount a family has to live on, I thought the poster was 'a stirrer' or making the OP feel bad about themselves. Therefore I thought it unhelpful and mocking. Clearly this is not the case. I am very sorry.:o

And if she really lives on that for everything per month, the good on her, that is amazing:T

Broken_hearted

I know I'm amazing also know I'm claiming everything, my mortgage is less than £150 a month as I bought at the right time (just before the boom). Its no as much of a struggle as people imagine it to be, it just takes a little longer to pay for some things.

savagevixen

Broken_hearted wrote: »

I know I'm amazing also know I'm claiming everything, my mortgage is less than £150 a month as I bought at the right time (just before the boom). Its no as much of a struggle as people imagine it to be, it just takes a little longer to pay for some things.

Now that is a wicked mortgage to have! I wish I had one of those. The cheapest quote we got (back in the days when we were eligible...) was £950 per month, for a house that was too small for us (3 beds). But we do have a very large family!
We are probably living on a similar amount then! But you have your own home, which is nice for kids. Renting is :rolleyes: no security, poor bu**ers turfed from house to house.