Not sure how to help 65 year old mum living on very little

tillycat123

My mum and I fell out 7 years ago and yesterday she phoned me out of the blue in a desperate state. She needs help and I'm not really sure where to start. A bit of background.

She is 65 and single (divorced 30 years ago) No savings as such about £3000 and gets the state pension plus a very small works one of an extra £40 a month. She did say she had to speak to so may people and is now exempt from paying council tax due to getting savings credit but did not qualify for the low income element if that makes sense, she said she was £10 or £15 over the limit to get it.

She has been trying to sell her house she owns outright to move into a smaller one to free up some cash to live on but it has all got too much for her and she has put a halt to the move and now its not happening.

Shes not in great health but not deaths door. She has had breast cancer and ovarian cancer in the past 6 years and mentally has had enough, enough to pick up the phone to me to ask for help! Is there any health related benefits I should be looking at for her ? She is mobile but after all her operations for some reason she has limited use of her right arm, not sure why but she said some jobs are hard for her to do now because of her arm, its very stiff.

Now I need some help to help her and feel a bit overwhelmed, emotional and a terrible daughter and don't really know where to start to help her out.

She cant face the thought of trying to move again right now so I need to try and help her get all the help she can for where she is.

Many thanks for reading and any pointers much appreciated, I am feeling very lost.

gardner1

well first on your list should be to go around to her house and give her a big hug and tell her not to worry

this is assuming when you fell out it was nothing to serious

Dunroamin

If she's over the limit for pension credit she'll probably benefit from help with budgeting; does she have much in the way of debt?

pmlindyloo

tillycat123 wrote: »

My mum and I fell out 7 years ago and yesterday she phoned me out of the blue in a desperate state. She needs help and I'm not really sure where to start. A bit of background.

She is 65 and single (divorced 30 years ago) No savings as such about £3000 and gets the state pension plus a very small works one of an extra £40 a month. She did say she had to speak to so may people and is now exempt from paying council tax due to getting savings credit but did not qualify for the low income element if that makes sense, she said she was £10 or £15 over the limit to get it.

She has been trying to sell her house she owns outright to move into a smaller one to free up some cash to live on but it has all got too much for her and she has put a halt to the move and now its not happening.

Shes not in great health but not deaths door. She has had breast cancer and ovarian cancer in the past 6 years and mentally has had enough, enough to pick up the phone to me to ask for help! Is there any health related benefits I should be looking at for her ? She is mobile but after all her operations for some reason she has limited use of her right arm, not sure why but she said some jobs are hard for her to do now because of her arm, its very stiff.

Now I need some help to help her and feel a bit overwhelmed, emotional and a terrible daughter and don't really know where to start to help her out.

She cant face the thought of trying to move again right now so I need to try and help her get all the help she can for where she is.

Many thanks for reading and any pointers much appreciated, I am feeling very lost.

After you have given her a hug then check out her actual income per month and see if she is entitled to Guarantee Pension Credit. I know you said she was over the limit but always worth checking. Just google to find the amounts.

The only other benefit that she may be entitled to is Attendance Allowance. Without more detail it is difficult to say whether she would be eligible. When you see her you would have a better idea of her care needs (no mobility needs for AA but her lack of mobility may impact on her care needs)

A helpful explanation is here:

http://www.ageuk.org.uk/money-matters/claiming-benefits/attendance-allowance/

If she is not entitled to AA or the Guarantee part of Pension Credit then you need to look at ways to lower her expenditure.

Even if she is entitled to PC since she is already receiving Council Tax Support and she owns her own home then there would not be many extra benefits - may be a little more income maybe and automatic right to some health benefits.

So back to lowering her expenditure. All you need is on this website. Go through everything she pays out and see if you can lower the amounts - utilities/phone/insurances etc etc.

If she has some mobility problems then ask for an assessment from Adult Assessment team at her Social Services. They would be able to provide her with some equipment if she needs it.

Obviously you won't be able to do anything until you know exactly what her needs are.

Of course, ultimately, downsizing is probably the right path to take. Once she is feeling less worried and has your support she may well be able to go ahead with this. However, with money in the bank she will lose her benefits (not AA, which is not means tested)

Hopefully you will find her much better than you are imagining

SandraScarlett

It's all too easy to be overwhelmed with life, especially if your Mum doesn't have a friend to talk things over with. The pain in her right hand/arm may well be arthritis. I can't lift my right arm above shoulder level, and can't grip things well, like a knife.

There are lots of cheap aids you can get that would make things easier for your Mum. As others have said, budgeting would help her enormously, and it's a good idea to check the Pension Credit limits again. How lovely that you and your Mum are talking again. Good luck to you both.

xx

sammyjammy

Surely savings of £3000 wouldn't stop her getting Guaranteed pension credit?

pmlindyloo

sammyjammy wrote: »

Surely savings of £3000 wouldn't stop her getting Guaranteed pension credit?

I agree which is why I suggested that she checked her mother's income.

It could be that her private pension is £40 a week rather than a month.

MissMoneypenny

tillycat123 wrote: »

She has been trying to sell her house she owns outright to move into a smaller one to free up some cash to live on but it has all got too much for her and she has put a halt to the move and now its not happening.

A different angle to the other posts as I don't think being reliant on welfare is a confidence booster and it sounds like your mother has lost her confidence.

You might need to take over this house sale as she sounds like she doesn't have the will to cope. It happened to a relative of mine and she just wanted someone to take all this over for her; including finding the new house. She was so relieved to move.

Small house will mean small bills and the sale will release cash for your mother. With this money, she can have a life: get out and about; travel and meet new friends. 65 is not old and she needs telling that. But it sounds like she needs some support to get the house sold and find a smaller property.

You're not "a terrible daughter". These things happen and now is your chance to help her get her confidence back.

EDIT. Use the following link to see what houses are selling for in her area, so you get an idea what to market your mother's house for and what to offer on another property. We all get carried away with our selling price , when we sell a house. http://www.nethouseprices.com/
Of course, I never got carried away with a selling price as I was always selling the best house in the street/area. But I never thought that when I was buying.:D

If you want some honest selling opinions; once you have her property back on the market; post a link on the house selling board on this site. Then put your tin hat on.

RAS

Make sure she is on the right tax code as well; I think there is a higher allowance for over 65s but you have to apply.

AgeUk could offer a benefits check as well.

Check her bank account for old direct debits and standing orders that she no longer needs.

tillycat123

I just wanted to thank everyone for the advice given and I'm going to work through the long check list with her when she is ready.

I have got her figures though and she does have slightly to much for the guaranteed pension credit which is a real shame and this seems to be the real key for additional help.

- State pension £121 a week
- Private pension £43 a week
- Savings credit element given £9 a week

Money in the bank in total £3000.

I'm going to try and see if the warm home discount scheme for the £135 electric one off payment from the Autumn might extend to her as they seem to have some discretion from what it says the the website, if you fall outside of the list of definite people to get it, but I need to research this one a bit more before I call them to ask.

Thank you everyone again.

Dunroamin

pmlindyloo wrote: »

I agree which is why I suggested that she checked her mother's income.

It could be that her private pension is £40 a week rather than a month.

You're assuming that she only gets the basic SRP whereas it could well be higher with SERPS/S2P included.

ETA

Which seems to be the case.