Working towards "starting again" in London

lulabelle

So, I'm 34 almost 35. I live offshore and have done for almost 9 years. I only ever intended to live here for 18 months but ended up meeting someone, getting engaged, getting un-engaged (after he cheated and is now married to her) and staying as I didn't feel it was right to go at that time.

I've not been happy here for a while but was too petrified about the prospect of "starting again" to leave. 3 things have recently made me realise its time to go. 1) reading "who moved my cheese", 2) a person I recently met saying "I get the impression the only thing keeping you here is your friends and if it werent for them you'd be long gone" (which, in turn, caused me to examine my friendships and realise they are all changing as people settle down and have kids) and 3) bumping into 6(!) ex boyfriends/flings in 1 day!!!!

So, my cv is with agents and the house has been valued. My aim is to be gone by the end of the year but im a little concerned as I'm a difficult candidate to place due to seniority. It's looking like I may have to take a pay cut and ill be significantly worse off financially due to the tax difference so I really need to start economising over the next few months and build up a nest egg.

Not quite sure what else to say but am keeping this diary to chart my progress and to keep me motivated towards my goal!

Buffythedebtslayer

hello and welcome to diary land.

Your first entry resonated with me because I am near London, leaving a job I was staying in for the wrong reasons and looking to "start again" in lots of ways. A whole life rethink and it is pretty scary!

The diaries and the people on them have got me through SO much, I do think it is the best place on the internet

Keep posting and reading, it all helps

xxxx

lulabelle

Thanks buffy. It's so easy just to accept your lot in life and stay put isn't it?! It's taken me a long time to have the courage to do this as getting to top of my game career wise here but I'm just not happy and the older I get the harder it will be to start again

I'm really really excited at the prospect of living in the big smoke again (I was there for 3 years before I moved here) and all the opportunities for things to do there.

Other than the cat I've no responsibilities so feel why not!

lulabelle

So, just applied for a job in London - arghhhhh!

And re saving, am going to a friends tonight for supper so dont have to buy anything

lionheartedgirl

*subscribes*

Hi lulabelle, I'm the same age as you and have just done something similar (although my moving between countries was a little less drastic!).

It's been a brilliant move in terms of living and loving life, just a few financials to take care of and finalise (that is an understatement! :eek:) but otherwise everything is under control.

You have to make the most of life I think, and if you have no other ties and it's what you think you want, then just do it If it turns out to not be what you wanted, you can change it

good luck!!

lulabelle

Thank you lionhearted girl!

Yes, I'm annoyed with myself for not doing it sooner! Now have a dilemma though - do I tell my fellow partners I am looking to go or do I wait until i have something?! I want to give them as much "notice" as possible but on the other hand don't want to prejudice my position

I'm just not happy here and haven't been for a while. Realistically it's going to be about 6 months before I can leave anyway as need to give and work notice and also sell house

Indebted2U

Good luck with the move lulabelle.

I came back to the UK after nearly 9 years away as well and haven't regretted it. I still go back and visit friends and with the internet you're never really out of touch

As for telling your partners I'd personally wait until you have a firm job offer. What happens if you change your mind, or you can't get the right position? I can understand you wanting to give your partners lots of notice but it could come back and bite you?

lionheartedgirl

I'd also say I think it's best not to tell them. It's easy to think and worry about how indispensable you are (not saying this is a bad thing to think!) but the truth is, they will manage without you. If heaven forbid you had an accident or something, they would have to cope.

I completely relate to these feelings though as I've worked in similar positions in the past and feelings of guilt and loyalty are very understandable. You will be giving them exactly what you are required to give them, whatever your notice period is. Many people abuse these and want to/actually do leave sooner, so by sticking to what you're required to do, that will be fine.

If it takes longer or shorter than you anticipate, there could be more uncertainty for them.

How exciting though!

lulabelle

Thanks to both of you - yes, I'll wait since it may take a while to get right role.

Also need to find somewhere to rent which will allow me to have the cat as could not bear being parted from him!

I do keep questioning whether I am doing the right thing as 9 years is a long time and I do have lots of friends here but I think I'm just fed up of the smallness of the place and the lack of anonymity although the plus sides are low crime and great tax breaks!

lulabelle

So, am hoping to hear back from the firm I've applied to today, thankfully an old family friend works in recruitment there so she emailed me yesterday to say she would forward to the relevant person and that they were organising interviews for that post - hopefully I'm not too late and when they see my experience in that area even if I am I would hope they give me an interview

Fingers crossed!

Still having a dilemma as to whether doing right thing as lots of positives about where I live but I do feel like I'm stagnating and find things about the place are irritating me more and more

lulabelle

Arghhhh, so not heard back from the job I applied for! Hopefully will tomorrow. It's quite disheartening actually but have to stay strong and get all the options mapped out so I can make an informed decision