I've had enough

paulineb_2

rosered1963 wrote: »

Hi OP.

There are no pills that are going to give you direction or meaning in life.

You are feeling this way because you need to make some choices. You are 23, highly literate and articulate. You are having a bad patch. It will get better. Remember that no matter how bad you feel, it will pass. Just make some decisions. Get out of your comfort zone and out of your own head. If you are free and unencumbered, consider going on with your education and perhaps working abroad. You are young enough to do anything, so have a think.

No there arent, but there might be medication that might take the edge of this depression. Medication isnt for everyone, but some people have been helped by it and for that reason alone, its always worth considering.

And once the edge is off, it means that the small things dont magnify into bigger problems.

hannoja

"Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains"
"Oh pull yourself together!"

Ignore those types. They haven't felt how you're feeling and have presumably not cared about anyone else who did! For many people, they can't comprehend what someone's going through unless they've been through it themselves or have been close to someone who has; and they lack the ability to sympathise, let alone empathise, with someone with such an 'alien' problem!

Personally, I believe that it's absolutely fine to 'wallow' for a while. Wallow in self pity for a few hours, or a few days if you need to. BUT.. you will come out of it sooner or later. You must! You are young, a mere spring chicken! Lock yourself away for a bit. Let everything go. But then pick yourself up, dust yourself down, and start all over again!

I don't know you, obviously, or your girlfriend. It is of course possible that you may have ended up like a pair of swans: paired for eternity. However, I'll take a wild stab that it would've ended sooner or later. We're all jigsaw pieces, and we don't fit with everyone... She dumped you, you say. Have you ever tried to 'dump' someone? It can be tough. She did the dirty work: let her feel bad about it

Part of me thinks that your post summarises reasons why YOU ARE NOT TIED! I can't go off and travel, work as I go, earn here and there, enough to get by.. have adventures.. I have responsibilities. It sounds like you don't... Why not go on a little adventure...?

Doctors can be rubbish. People can be rubbish. Life can be rubbish. But tough as it may be, it's what we make it. We have to try and hide the baggage and get on with it...

Please come out of it soon. Only you can do it. You want to, or you wouldn't be here. It's up to you. The world awaits you!

Good luck

:grouphug:

sooty&sweep

Hi

Sounds like you have alot of things you are worrying about.

Rather than trying to change everything can I suggest you focus on one thing and what could you do to make a difference there. Also something achievable.

A success & a tick in the box will help you feel a bit better and then pick your next target.

Jen

loulou123

My life went wrong at a similar age to you - my gran got sectioned, (i lived with her) I lost my job and then I was the victim of a sexual assault all within a year. A few years before this I lost my grandad suddenly to cancer which turned my world upside down and I was very depressed (i was 16.)

After the 2nd series of events I didn't see that things would ever work out for me, and quite frankly I didn't see the point of carrying on. I self harmed at times too.

I saw a psychiatrist and had counselling and very gradually, bit by bit I put my life back together. I was lucky my boyfriend at the time stuck by me (as I'm sure your parents will.)

Now a few years on I have a completely different career, which the pay is terrible but I love the job, I married the boyfriend who stuck by me and life is on the whole good.

If I'd given up I'd never have experianced my wedding day or any of the amazing things that ive done since the bad days.

I know you proberly won't believe it now, but things won't always seem so bleak - they will get better - I'm proof of that. Big hugs.

gwen80

Distraughtguy wrote: »

Firstly I would like to apologise for this post ,

I'm 23 years old, I've lost my job and can't find a new one. My partner has left me, I have literally no friends, no social life, nothing to my name at all.

I have no confidence anymore and I dread the thought of having to talk to anyone.

My life has been turnt upside down and I can't take anymore of it.

I've been to my doctor and nervously explained and he's response was what do you want me to do? The answer is I don't know. I don't know why I feel like this, I must just be a weak person.

I don't want to be around anymore, apart from my parents I have nothing to live for and all I keep thinking about is I don't want to be here anymore.

I'm really sorry you're feeling so low Distraughtguy, but things can and do get better. Believe me, I was at rock bottom only a few years ago. The only thing that stopped me doing something stupid was the fact that I knew it would destroy my Mum and I refused to leave my nephews with that legacy of their Aunt. Also, I was a bit of a chicken if I'm honest. I'm glad I didn't though, things move on and I'm not the same person anymore.

Things might seem quite bleak for you now, but things can and do change. How would you eat an elephant? All in one go? That's too much. Or would you nibble at it bit by bit? I'm saying this as a good friend told me this and it's stuck with me since. Your life probably won't change overnight, but you can make things better bit by bit - 'you can't eat an elephant all in one go'. Can you take some small steps to making things better? Could you go back to the doctors (maybe see a different GP) and explore what they could help you with? See if you could get some counselling or something?

There are also a lot of free resources on the web. I often listen to Anthony Robbins (not everyone's cup of tea) youtube videos for motivation, other videos on confidence etc. Are there any books at the library that might help?

Could you set yourself some little targets and tick them off as you accomplish them? They don't have to be massive, you build up gradually. Today I will make a doctors apt. Tomorrow I will go for a walk. Next week I'll go for a run, the week after enquire about voluntary work etc, etc.

Take care and keep posting

Gwenx

gwen80

Also Distraughtguy, to quote 'Wear Sunscreen':

'Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself'

Gwenx

tattycath

penelopedee wrote: »

Ok then Distraughtguy, what are you up to, now? See if you can find some daft tv to watch (or swear at if it winds you up! whatever)

Friday nights never live up to the dreams! In our teens we had to do the school thing. In my twenties I just didn't have the money to fit in with my friends. In my thirties when I had money and time, the lifestyle didn't fit with me. Now in my forties, I'm still pretty skint and the 2.4 kids thing meant I just forgot what music they played.

Its ok, and we are still here if you need to rant.

Take care

:rotfl::rotfl: I can so relate to this.

Savvy_Sue

Contact us page for the Samaritans. OP, you don't have to phone them, you can also email if that would be easier.

tayforth

OP - I'm sorry that you had such a lukewarm and frankly rubbish response from your doctor. You have done a brave thing by admitting that you are feeling down and need help. Do go back to the doctor - or a different doctor in the same surgery if possible. Contact the Samaritans. Talk to us. Talk to your parents.

I have just come out of an abusive marriage. The were times when I felt as low as you do now, I literally couldn't see a way out. Let me tell you, there's nothing lonelier than an unhappy relationship. But I eventually found the courage to speak to the Samaritans, and I'm so glad that I did. They're wonderful. They helped me to see that I had other options, that I was worth more, that I didn't have to put up with carp. I left my ex 2 months ago today, and I'm so glad. I have my whole future ahead of me, and I'm optimistic - things can only get better. And I'm a decade older than you!

What I'm trying to say is: this too will pass. I didn't think that I'd end up in an abusive marriage, but I did, and I managed to find my way out of it. There is always a way.

Suicide is so utterly final. It solves nothing. All it does it ensure that your life will never improve. And it devastates those left behind. A close friend of mine took her own life and I'll never ever get over it.

Plus, you're 23 and have no ties or responsibilities. It's a cliche but the world is your oyster.

Thank you for posting. I think that your thread will help lots of people in a similar situation - you should be proud that you spoke about your feelings and asked for help. That takes a lot of courage.

paulineb wrote: »

To be fair, when someone is suffering from depression and it sounds like the OP is, being told to toughen up and other people have it worse, isnt going to help.

Its hard enough admitting you are having suicidal thoughts.
Ive never though about killing myself, ever, because Ive lost someone that way and Id never put anyone I love through it, plus, I always realise, that even when things are grim, theres always something better out there.

Its a brave thing to do to admit you need help, and its the first step in getting better.

Totally agree Pauline xx

gwen80 wrote: »

Also Distraughtguy, to quote 'Wear Sunscreen':

'Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself'

Gwenx

An absolutely inspirational song, well worth a listen xxx

zaksmum

How are you feeling today, distraughtguy?