I've had enough

Better_Off_1983

OK... get some support DistraughtGuy.

What job did you previously do (just to see if your skill set is in demand) have you uploaded your CV on any jobsites?

paulineb_2

There are also telephone helplines for people who are suffering from depression, in Scotland its breathing space, not sure where you are in the country but theres bound to be somewhere you can call and speak to someone in confidence.

[Deleted User]

Distraughtguy wrote: »

Firstly I would like to apologise for this post ,

Don't apologise for feeling down, you are human!

I'm 23 years old, I've lost my job and can't find a new one. My partner has left me, I have literally no friends, no social life, nothing to my name at all.

You haven't found a new job *yet*. You are currently single but at the age of 23 you have a lot of emotional growing to do. Don't rush to settle down. Friends and social life will come if you concentrate on improving the way you think about yourself. Self-pity and comparing ourselves to others only makes us less attractive as human beings. I know , I do it sometimes too!

I have no confidence anymore and I dread the thought of having to talk to anyone.

Did you talk about this aspect to your GP?

My life has been turnt upside down and I can't take anymore of it.

This feeling is not uncommon when the rug is pulled out from under us, but often it *can* be the turning point for building a *new* kind of life.

I've been to my doctor and nervously explained and he's response was what do you want me to do? The answer is I don't know. I don't know why I feel like this, I must just be a weak person.

You've had some bad luck and some bad reaction to it. It's not weakness, it's natural, but you can deal with the feelings by using them to spur you on to something different to what you had been doing.

I don't want to be around anymore, apart from my parents I have nothing to live for and all I keep thinking about is I don't want to be here anymore.

Please be aware that your family love you and they want you around, whether you are employed or not, single or paired-up. In this regard you have a good deal to build upon.

Maybe go back to your GP (or different GP in the same practice) and tell him/her what you've told us, and how you feel. They may recommend some counselling and maybe medication for the short-term. You sound quite depressed and sometimes that can spiral if not treated.

In the medium term, have you thought about studying a part-time course and doing some voluntary work in an area that interests you? Doing things for someone else's benefit or a good cause is a great confidence booster, feels pretty good and also looks nice on a future CV.

A 'good life' actually isn't always about the £'s we earn and the parties we go to, the stuff we have or the cars we drive. It's about the journey and the things we do along the way, the people we meet and the experiences we have.

I've replied inside your original post - I hope you feel a little more positive soon

marisco_2

You sound really overwhelmed and depressed at the moment OP. Unsurprising really considering you are going through two of life's most stress inducing situations in one hit. It is very tough to lose your job and then struggle to find a new one. Even more so when you are going through the break down of a relationship. To not have a support network of friends to help you through such difficult times, adds to the sense of despair and isolation you feel.

You say you have nothing to live for except your parents. This suggests to me that they mean a lot to you and that they would want to be there to help you. Do turn to them and talk over exactly how you are feeling, rather than bottling things up and trying to cope with all this by yourself. That is what they are there for. I would also suggest going back and seeing a different gp. The one you saw was very dismissive of you and there is a lot that can be offered in way of help and support to someone suffering from depression.

It may be hard to see things like this now but being young, free and single with no major commitments or people dependant on you, gives you a lot of freedom and choices about where you will take you life next. When you have regained your inner strength and confidence take the time to focus on yourself and what will ultimately make you happy in life. Then gradually work toward achieving that. Seeking help when you need it most is a sign of strength. Please take care.

Make-it-3

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like this has all happened to you very suddenly.

If you put things to your doctor in the same way you have here, he/she has probably thought short term crisis. They probably don't want to medicate/put you on a long waiting list for counselling when its possible given a bit of time you can get things together for yourself.

With everything that has occurred it would be quite normal to feel "down" and that life hasn't got much going for it.

There's nothing wrong with not having life all sorted out with roses round the door at 23, its riding out the tough times that makes us grow and become more resilient.


Have you suffered from depression previously? If so, please do return to your GP and explain that recent events have tipped you over. Otherwise give it a bit of time and start thinking practically about how you can tackle each obstacle as none are insurmountable.

Janey3

I'm in the autumn of my life but still remember being 23 and having bouts of depression but how glad I am that I didn't end my life.

There is such a lot of living you've got to do. Don't end it now, you have your whole life in front of you, people to meet, places to see. I know you are thinking there is no way out for you, but believe me things change constantly and there will be good times ahead in your life, I can assure you of that.

What do you like to do? What are your interests?

paulineb_2

Distraughtguy wrote: »

Firstly I would like to apologise for this post ,

I'm 23 years old, I've lost my job and can't find a new one. My partner has left me, I have literally no friends, no social life, nothing to my name at all.

I have no confidence anymore and I dread the thought of having to talk to anyone.

My life has been turnt upside down and I can't take anymore of it.

I've been to my doctor and nervously explained and he's response was what do you want me to do? The answer is I don't know. I don't know why I feel like this, I must just be a weak person.

I don't want to be around anymore, apart from my parents I have nothing to live for and all I keep thinking about is I don't want to be here anymore.

A lot of doctors dont understand mental health issues and some arent sympathetic, at all.

You arent a weak person, you are human. There is so much pressure on people to keep their emotions in check and say they are fine when they arent.

If Im having an off day or two or three, I give myself permission to feel crap. If I dont want to go out, I dont, if I do I do.

1 in 3 people will suffer from depression at some time in their life yet theres such a massive stigma.

There are no magic wands, but my guess is that it wouldnt take much to make you feel better, new job, new partner, social life.

Work on the social life and I totally agree, while you are waiting for a new job, get out there and volunteer.

Always some project or other that will need you and you will meet new people along the way. Ive done it.

Have a look on the site meet up, even if you dont want to join it now, there are loads of groups and loads of people in the same boat

Im a member of a local group who meet about once a month and even though about 7 people go to each meet there are 80 or so members, there are so many people who through one circumstance or another, get to a stage in their life where they need to meet new people, theres no shame in that at all.

Pixiechic

Hey distraughtguy, I just want to give you a big hug and tell you that you are not a weak person.

You have had a bit of a tough time by the sound of it, losing your job and splitting up with your girlfriend. No wonder you are feeling down.

Do you live at home with your parents? Do you feel that you can speak to them about how you feel?

rosered1963

Hi OP.

There are no pills that are going to give you direction or meaning in life.

You are feeling this way because you need to make some choices. You are 23, highly literate and articulate. You are having a bad patch. It will get better. Remember that no matter how bad you feel, it will pass. Just make some decisions. Get out of your comfort zone and out of your own head. If you are free and unencumbered, consider going on with your education and perhaps working abroad. You are young enough to do anything, so have a think.

penelopedee_2

Ok then Distraughtguy, what are you up to, now? See if you can find some daft tv to watch (or swear at if it winds you up! whatever)

Friday nights never live up to the dreams! In our teens we had to do the school thing. In my twenties I just didn't have the money to fit in with my friends. In my thirties when I had money and time, the lifestyle didn't fit with me. Now in my forties, I'm still pretty skint and the 2.4 kids thing meant I just forgot what music they played.

Its ok, and we are still here if you need to rant.

Take care