The OS Doorstep - a helpful and supportive thread in these tough times

carlymummy

PRINCESSX87 wrote: »

Morning all.

I’m more of a winter person. I love the sudden snap of frozen air first thing. Snow, When we’re lucky enough to have it makes everything look magical.
I’m also share with Lyn about Christmas. I’m a huge fan, But not of the presents. For me is a special time to just enjoy family.

OH finishes up today for three weeks. Although I’m glad of the company & extra hands, Its frightening to be unpaid & no income for this time.

I’m trying to decide if I should contact the companies that we have requesting money from us. I’m not sure if I should do the standard hand written letters & have proof of postage or whether emails will be best explaining our situation and asking what can be done about it for the time my OH had off. Even just reducing the payments for one month would be a great help.

Princess I don't know if this is helpful to you or not but when we were first entering into our IVA we handwrote letters to all the companies that we owed money too - credit cards etc explaining that all we could afford was a token payment and included it with the letter, explained our reasons why asked for correspondence to be kept in writing sent them all the same amount and posted them all recorded delivery (ensuring our address was on the back of the envelope). It was a relief to pay something and give ourselves a little breathing space, we also changed our telephone number so the demanding calls could stop. Hope this helps you a little. x

Florence22

:sneaks out of lurkdom...: Princess would the Debt free Wannabe board be helpful for you?:
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?s=&daysprune=&f=76

Loads of advice and standard letter templates on there which you could adapt - apologies if you read it already!
Thinking of you xx

[Deleted User]

Hello FLORENCE22 thank you for joining in on the thread, don't sneak back to lurkdom, join in with the rest of us, we love it when people do post, and thank you for the very useful link, Cheers Lyn xxx.

PRINCESSX87

Thanks for the advice peeps. I've been in touch with step change who has been helping me loads. So, I'm just really wondering how the next month or so is going to pan out. That reminds me, I have to adjust that too as some of the debts have been paid up or repayments have changed.

Thanks again xxx

Possession

Princess, I can't help with experience of the debt stuff, but you should be proud of yourself for fighting to get it all sorted now. One step at a time.

VJ's Mum, would it help you to think of the seasons the way the Japanese do and celebrate each one - particularly Spring and Autumn. Obviously the most famous way is cherry blossom viewing in Spring, but Autumn leaves are almost as important and people often travel long distances to view the most spectacular places for Autumn views. My photos of Nikko in October are some of the most beautiful I've ever taken.
Apologies if this just sounds airy-fairy but perhaps taking time to appreciate the beauty of the colder seasons might help to lessen negative feelings about them?

Florence22

MrsLurcherwalker wrote: »

Hello FLORENCE22 thank you for joining in on the thread, don't sneak back to lurkdom, join in with the rest of us, we love it when people do post, and thank you for the very useful link, Cheers Lyn xxx.

Thanks MrsLW - don't often feel I can contribute much tbh but must confess to being an avid reader of the Toughies threads, would like to thank you all for keeping me going for the last 18 or so months since I discovered you, wonderful support for each other and very inspirational!

elona

Feel as if we "lost" yesterday as DH was in hospital from 7a.m. till after 7p.m. when he finally got discharged after surgery. Tried not to look as stunned as I felt as he looked like he had been mugged :eek: We should have a better idea what the growth on his head was in a week or so but after four biopsies with no clear result it gets perplexing. Poor soul has a huge bandage on his head for the next day or two, a large dressing stapled under that and a large cut half way along his throat where the skin for a graft was taken.

Trying to get him to time his meals rather than just pick at things as he needs to take antibiotics for the next few days. Finally got him pinned down to times he should take them and promised to fit meals around that.

Can hear windowcleaner so need to go and pay him and start thinking about what to make for DH to eat at noon etc.

So glad I went to local butcher as I have some good choices for meals, stewing, steak, mince, chops and gammon steaks. Just need some more veg later so will take a quick walk out.

Hugs to all.

GreyQueen

Thank you for the reminder about the autumn colours, Possession. I must make the effort to take a walk in some ancient beech woodlands I know of, when the leaves have started to turn colour. It's magical in there.

I love autumn. The colours are my colours; all the rusts and golds and deep reds. I like that it's cooler outside so better for active outdoors pursuits; I don't sit around idling very well. It works for me that the sun is less fierce and I don't have to faddle with covering every centimeter of my lilywhite skin with either clothes or cream.

I even like the ephemerality of it; the sense of decline, of dormancy, that one big storm can see those glorious leaves on the ground. I enjoy the wheel of the year in gardening terms, the slowing from the frantic pace of keeping up with the weeds and the watering, and taking some time to do stuff and having it stay done for months.

The washing of the flowerpots, the tidying of the lottie, the sense of putting things in their proper place and hunkering down for the season to come.

And there's a circularity in life, too; I notice that even as the last leaves are coming off my blackcurrant bush, the new buds are formed and stay dormant until spring when suddenly - whoosh! here we are again. I have a definate feeling of circularity, which I find comforting.

Mrs LW, I winced at your description of the hardships which school uniform imposed upon your childhood. I went to a state grammar from 12 onwards with a very strict uniform policy. And they also changed their uniform colours completely one year into my era. To set me up with what I needed for the first year cost £100+. That was a lot of money to my family in the 1970s, took the best part of a week's income.

In general terms, I'm pro-uniform as I think children benefit from the discipline and can be such horrid little toads to each other if allowed to wear what they like and then some kids have the cool kit and some don't.

However, even 7 years ago when I was a CAB volunteer, we were having parents come in needing help to finance school uniform. It wasn't that they couldn't fund a certain quantity of navy V-neck jumpers or whatever, it was the badging which was causing the problems.

I remember one mother telling me she could get the jumper for £5 but the badge was another £8. And these weren't detachable items, so they had to have one per outfit. We were helping parents apply for funding from local charities, some of which had been around for centuries. I wonder what the founders of those charities would have thought of schools being so infelxible in uniform policy that they were driving lower-paid parents and unwaged parents alike into their arms?

I know the issue is still going on as we get parents ring us and ask if they can have a letter confirming how much HB/CTR they are getting so they can apply for these chaitable grants.

I would like to see headteachers/ govenors/ whomever makes these decisions, exercise a lot of common sense. Surely it isn't beyond wit and wisdom to choose to have a uniform in generic colours such as navies, blacks, greys, with such badging as is needed to be applied only to blazers or to be very cheap woven ones which can be bought separately and easily transposed from garment to garment when the child outgrows the item?

Okay, time to enjoy my pottering about day off work.

VJsmum

Possession wrote: »

Princess, I can't help with experience of the debt stuff, but you should be proud of yourself for fighting to get it all sorted now. One step at a time.

VJ's Mum, would it help you to think of the seasons the way the Japanese do and celebrate each one - particularly Spring and Autumn. Obviously the most famous way is cherry blossom viewing in Spring, but Autumn leaves are almost as important and people often travel long distances to view the most spectacular places for Autumn views. My photos of Nikko in October are some of the most beautiful I've ever taken.
Apologies if this just sounds airy-fairy but perhaps taking time to appreciate the beauty of the colder seasons might help to lessen negative feelings about them?

No,I think you are right. That is why I asked really,. If I can narrow it down to only hating one season, then that is a bonus

So I will look forward to

DS starting up playing footie again, which will keep him occupied and out of trouble (not that he is especially in trouble, the blip of the other week notwithstanding)
DD will be starting the rounds of drama school auditions, when we will discover whether this is the career for her. Exciting times
New challenges at work (uni) when I have new subjects to teach that I have wanted to tackle for some time
Wearing socks
Going for walks in the countryside with OH and maybe a pub lunch or two. We never seem to have time in the summer
Maybe we can fit in the odd barbecue as we now have a chimenea and so will be able to sit out longer
The possibility of a trip to France at half term, we think we are going to lose our free continental train travel so may do a "last gasp" trip while we can
Planning for Christmas, I would like to make it less consumerist but have a fight on my hands
I have a "special" birthday a week before Christmas so perhaps I will make some plans to celebrate it. If I don't, no one else will.

I think I am going to buy myself a warm and stylish winter coat that I really want to wear. I have a padded brown thing that is warm but I feel makes me look dowdy and plump, and a nicer woollen coat that is well cut but not warm enough in real winter conditions. I realise this is shallow, but if I buy something I love and that suits me, then maybe I won't mind being out in the cold so much.

Possession

You are very welcome GQ. I bought my little Japanese maple just after I returned from Japan because I was feeling a bit miserable. It has stuck with me despite me not watering it or composting it or all the other things you're supposed to do for pot plants, and I love it dearly. There is nothing - except a vast forest of them - which says Autumn to me more than the beautiful leaves turning red.

That's the spirit, VJ's Mum! Look, in Japan they plan whole holidays around viewing Autumn leaves: http://www.atlas-japantour.com/169html/pg185.html