Fitting everything in

Spudsey

ciderwithrosie wrote: »

Will no doubt get flamed for this ... but I've never understood why, if people are working full-time and are falling behind on basic chores, they choose to have very time consuming pets, which just add to the stress and mess that is overwhelming them already.

Also they can be very costly, and I'm always amazed on here when people are trying to cut back on groceries/clothes for their family but still have a load of pets.

I'm not surprised your parents complain they haven't seen you if you class a couple of cats and some rabbits as more important in your life.

The allotment however, is something worthwhile as it's productive.

I was younger when I first had my pets, and didn't have the allotment either...and didn't feel stressed! I hardly buy clothes anyway but would definitely cut back on them if I had to in order to feed/care for my pets.

You don't know my parents! My cats, rabbits and of course my partner are part of my family.

pigpen

elsien wrote: »

Probably because walking the dog gives me a very good excuse to get away from the stress and mess and leave it all behind for an hour or two!

Plus exercise, fresh air and a chance to speak to other people.. nothing like a dog or a small baby to improve your social experience! For many people it is the one social interaction they get each day!

Pets are also a companion for those long cold evenings and again if you have little/no social interactions they can be a benefit.

I'd reduce the time at the allotment as I understand that too has its own social circles but it always seems a lot of work which is very hard to fit in a busy life.

Spudsey

lobbyludd wrote: »

hi,

no you're not super woman - none of us are, I wonder if despitebeing disorganised, you are a perfectionist, too hard on yourself for not doing things perfectly? I know I have those tendencies.

I hope this comes across the right way - I'm very disorganised, full time job, single parent, 2 kids, staring to grow veg in the garden, do all the diy etc, have chronic depression and another health problem, which at the moment includes monthly visits to hospital trying to ward off surgery, 1 elderly cat (down from 3 sadly ). I fully appreciate the overwhelmed feeling you in right now, and when in it, it's hard to see a way out.

I do however also suffer from "rod for my own back" syndrome lol (see perfectionism above!). and I think I recognise a fellow sufferer?
It's hard sometimes to see that a lot of the responsibilities we feel overwhelmed by are choices. I choose to look after my garden and grow veg, because I enjoy it. soo if I reframe my thinking on it, the gardening is "me time" because I am choosing to do it (I could have it paved and put down strong weedkiller 2x per year). ditto allotment.you could tell them you're taking a break for a month because you're too busy. Unless you actually enjoy doing it and then in recognising that's why you're doing it, this becomes your leisure activity.

My mogs have all been largely outdoor cats (mostly because after the eldest dies at 17 the others were rubbish at defending their home, invite friends in and then get miffed and spray), next door has 2 entirely indoor pedigree cats. mine and hers are in prime condition and happy as clams with very different lifestyles. Cats don't need taking out for exercise at all, let alone 2x per day, they'll run around like fiends in the house if they want to. That's not to say don't do it, but if you do, only do it because you enjoy it, and then it's "you time". You could whilst the weather is nice, sit outside and do the paperwork, door open and timid cat may start to venture out and join you. IF it gets another fright, nothing will have been lost really, and s/he may in her own time gain his/her confidence back.

excerise class - I am fitting (sporadically) exercise into my day rather than a class (which always felt like a chore) - walking part way to work, up stairs at work (14 blinking floors), so it can be done, unless of course you enjoy the class - and again then when you choose to do it, it is leisure.

I find the first thing to do is set one small talk of 15 mins, and then just chill and have a think about my choices, one of my choices tonight is to leave the washing folded in the basket - it won't have gone anywhere tomorrow - no stress, no castigating myself. we have to be kind to ourselves!

Thanks for your post. I'm definitely no perfectionist, I just get cross with myself that I don't get round to doing everything that I need to. It took me weeks to get round to applying for my new photocard licence for example, I just forget about things. Had a nice walk out tonight, managed to get home early with someone from work, walked the cat, sorted out the rabbits, made a nice dinner, walk, then back for the washing up and a couple of other small jobs and bed soon just got to get the bread out of the bread maker.

Emm-in-a-pickle

I know what OP means about not being able to fit everything in.
I was working full-time till earlier this year (illness then major surgery - now feel fully recovered but still not considered fit for work where there`s no `light duties!) Between work/home I felt there weren`t enough hours in a day to fit everything in. Now, I`m home all day, and I STILL have the same feeling!
Ironing has LONG been a hing of the distant past, so that doesn`t figure.

There`s me, OH, adult undomesticaed DS, and 13 yr-old grand-daughter who is here every weekend and most evenings. Plus an undemanding cat and a more needy old dog (deaf/blind/wobbly but still enjoys Life, stealing catfood etc.)
We are a Messy household. I am disorganised, but I do try!

Lobbyludd has made an excellent point about Choices. I mostly really enjoy shopping & cooking from scratch, but it takes up a lot of time as I`m disorganised.
Housework is mostly done in binges, brought on either by my mood (choices again!) or by sheer necessity.
Gardening: Thanks, Lobbyludd, for your point about this, too. Mine is a very large & very wild garden, minimally `managed` by me with occasional paid help. My choice is to concentrate on increasing the `bee-friendly` plants and a few herbs for us as well. I sometimes stress about it, but it`s my choice to keep it wild, no regrets.

I agree we shouldn`t beat ourselves up - fitting things in where we can, where we choose to, and prioritising where we have to. And we should spare a compassionate thought for the folks who have no room in their schedule for pets!

cheeswright

Hi Spudsey
youre being a bit down on yourself - a little "glass half empty" ...you are doing lots - of course theres lots to be done - whatever you do in life there is..and you can fill every moment of every day with things if you want to - or you can choose not to

you do not seem to be clear in the difference between have to - and want to -
if you wrote your week out as a table and put absolutely have to do jobs in first you would have large empty swathes of time...

so most of what you are doing is for pleasure or fun -how lovely to be tired out at the end of a day from having fun !

ok thats a bit exagerated - there are a lot of other things you need to do which are only mildly life improving but not wonderfully interesting - so spread them out...and only do enough to stay ever so slightly ahead for a while - could you give yourself a break for a few days perhaps even award yourself a few "essentials only" days. then when youve had a break from it - you could consider adding a couple of things in which will make a difference. try making them fun too

"I will get one package out of the freezer three times a week and I will eat it...even if its that mystery meat thats been curly and I have to eat it with something that hasnt got a lable on at all...."
much more fun that "I must clean out the freezer" if you think of it as mystery meal night.......

I hope I dont seem to flippant - I dont really mean to, but I am in a similar position and find its all much easier if I sometimes reminding myself that these none essential jobs are actually the most fun and rewarding parts of my life

kboss2010

Cat - why are your cats house cats? I live in the middle of a city and we only have a back yard but my cats have always been happy pottering about the neighbourhood. Letting your cats out would be a big time-saver! When my mum decided to walk our kitten one day I thought she was mad lol (Maybe you live in a high-up flat so not possible but just a thought? :-) )

- also, get a cat-carrier-style litter tray so it can only kick litter in one direction (or recycle an old CS cat carrier into a litter tray if you're being moneysaving)

Spraying - your cat will spray for one of 3 reasons - it hasn't been neutered/spayed, it has a medical problem (see a vet to rule this out) or it is stressed. If it's stressed then it may be because it's sharing a litter tray/food with other cats in the household. If necessary, get your cats separate ones and put them in different places. You can also get a spray to put on areas the cat sprays called Feliway to stop it. I don't want to say get rid of your cat (I wouldn't want to) but none of my cats have ever sprayed in the house (to date I've had 8 cats through the years) and I'm not sure I'd be willing to keep it if I couldn't solve the issue.

Rabbits - line the hutch with cheap bin liners - then you can just lift out the sawdust in one go and replace in a few minutes. Give it a proper wash out once a week.

Laundry - dividing your colours as you take off clothes is the best idea. Like someone else suggested, buy more laundry baskets! (Cheap pop-up £1 shop ones will do!)

Cleaning - Buy cheap cleaning wipes (£1 for 50 lemon ones at Dunelm Mill) and keep them in the bathroom. After you shower, give the bath, sink and toilet a quick wipe with them every few days to avoid it getting really grubby.

Paperwork - invest in a metal box filing system (£10 from WH Smiths if u can catch them on offer) and buy a cheap letter organiser - get these from £ shops/in sales from WH Smiths/stationery shops (and a normal knife for opening) to put on the table by the door. When you come in, open your mail, divide it into junk/bills/statements&banking/other, toss the junk and place the rest divided by your letter holder. When it gets full you can just grab the (relatively sorted bundle) and put it in a folder in the metal box. That way, if you need it you can find it!

Fitness - you can watch Jillian Michael's 20 minute workout DVDs on youtube (or if you don't have the Internet/want to buy it you can pick them up for less than £5 on ebay) - even if you only have 15 minutes, do one, I can guarantee you'll be sweating and feel like you've had a full workout afterwards!

- buy a skipping rope! 10 minutes skipping is a fantastic cardio workout (that's why all the butch boxers do it!)

Ironing - I also don't buy clothes I need to iron! My work "shirts" are plain Primark stretchy t-shirts/vest tops with see-through synthetic "shirts" over the top, drying trousers and jeans on radiators/hanging them up de-wrinkles them if you shake them out first.

I still don't have it all figured out. I think my MIL despairs sometimes about my lack of ironing/tidying etc (she even gave me her old iron when mine broke - hint maybe? lol, nah she's lovely really, always offering to do our washing but I'd feel bad - I'm 25 and haven't lived in the same city as my parents for 7 years!!) but if I think of any more time-saving tips I'll post them.

pigpen

kboss2010 wrote: »

Spraying - your cat will spray for one of 3 reasons - it hasn't been neutered/spayed, it has a medical problem (see a vet to rule this out) or it is stressed. .

Mine does it because he is senile. Then a couple of the others do it because he has. He also poops in stupid places unless an eye is kept on him constantly.

One wees in the house if it is raining.. and if the grass is long and tickles her bum.. she is insane though.

Spudsey

kboss2010 wrote: »

Cat - why are your cats house cats? I live in the middle of a city and we only have a back yard but my cats have always been happy pottering about the neighbourhood. Letting your cats out would be a big time-saver! When my mum decided to walk our kitten one day I thought she was mad lol (Maybe you live in a high-up flat so not possible but just a thought? :-) )

- also, get a cat-carrier-style litter tray so it can only kick litter in one direction (or recycle an old CS cat carrier into a litter tray if you're being moneysaving)

Spraying - your cat will spray for one of 3 reasons - it hasn't been neutered/spayed, it has a medical problem (see a vet to rule this out) or it is stressed. If it's stressed then it may be because it's sharing a litter tray/food with other cats in the household. If necessary, get your cats separate ones and put them in different places. You can also get a spray to put on areas the cat sprays called Feliway to stop it. I don't want to say get rid of your cat (I wouldn't want to) but none of my cats have ever sprayed in the house (to date I've had 8 cats through the years) and I'm not sure I'd be willing to keep it if I couldn't solve the issue.

Rabbits - line the hutch with cheap bin liners - then you can just lift out the sawdust in one go and replace in a few minutes. Give it a proper wash out once a week.

Laundry - dividing your colours as you take off clothes is the best idea. Like someone else suggested, buy more laundry baskets! (Cheap pop-up £1 shop ones will do!)

Cleaning - Buy cheap cleaning wipes (£1 for 50 lemon ones at Dunelm Mill) and keep them in the bathroom. After you shower, give the bath, sink and toilet a quick wipe with them every few days to avoid it getting really grubby.

Paperwork - invest in a metal box filing system (£10 from WH Smiths if u can catch them on offer) and buy a cheap letter organiser - get these from £ shops/in sales from WH Smiths/stationery shops (and a normal knife for opening) to put on the table by the door. When you come in, open your mail, divide it into junk/bills/statements&banking/other, toss the junk and place the rest divided by your letter holder. When it gets full you can just grab the (relatively sorted bundle) and put it in a folder in the metal box. That way, if you need it you can find it!

Fitness - you can watch Jillian Michael's 20 minute workout DVDs on youtube (or if you don't have the Internet/want to buy it you can pick them up for less than £5 on ebay) - even if you only have 15 minutes, do one, I can guarantee you'll be sweating and feel like you've had a full workout afterwards!

- buy a skipping rope! 10 minutes skipping is a fantastic cardio workout (that's why all the butch boxers do it!)

Ironing - I also don't buy clothes I need to iron! My work "shirts" are plain Primark stretchy t-shirts/vest tops with see-through synthetic "shirts" over the top, drying trousers and jeans on radiators/hanging them up de-wrinkles them if you shake them out first.

I still don't have it all figured out. I think my MIL despairs sometimes about my lack of ironing/tidying etc (she even gave me her old iron when mine broke - hint maybe? lol, nah she's lovely really, always offering to do our washing but I'd feel bad - I'm 25 and haven't lived in the same city as my parents for 7 years!!) but if I think of any more time-saving tips I'll post them.

Unfortunately my cat sprays as I have two male cats (brothers) the same age and they both want to be top cat. Its quite controlled at the moment as now the weather is better (???) he has been staying out during the day whilst I am at work and so the other cat has the run of the house. Sadly he gets stressed which leads to spraying and cystitis. I’ve spent a fortune on feliway to no avail, I currently just use the spray I gave up with the diffusers. Also using zyklene and tablets for cystitis as well as flower remedies! I could never give him up because of his spraying. There are three litter trays, plenty of beds etc.

Bin liners in the hutch? Do you mean plastic bin liners? Complete no no mine would be eating it!

I do use the wipes in my bathroom and admit they are handy especially for a quick clean up.

Fitness – I’m going to stick with my zumba there, it means a good chat with two friends there and back as well as exercise plus gets me out of the house without the o/h!

Unfortunately I can’t get out of ironing my work clothes as it’s a uniform and they crease really badly!

My m-i-l must think my house is a disgrace!

Rain_Shadow

elsien wrote: »

Welcome to the club - except I don't have an allotment, just the garden.
My house is permanently messy, and the pile of paperwork gets larger by the week. But it really depends on how you look at it and what's important to you.
I could do a lot more housework if I went down the whole flylady route. But I really don't want to, I'd rather be out in the garden or walking the dog. Or reading the paper. So as long as the kitchen and bathroom are comparatively hygienic, I don't worry about the rest of the house on work days, I spend one of my days off playing catchup. (Or not! Certain things like clean sheets I do every week. It's a good couple of weeks since the bedroom got dusted or hoovered. When I start sneezing is generally an indicator I've left it too long.)
If it gets too messy it starts to wind me up so I'll have a half hour miniblitz putting things away - just being able to see the settee again makes me feel better even if I don't get round to a proper clean.
Otherwise, life's too short to stress about a bit of dust - I only have myself to worry about most of the time. Ironing gets done when I'm watching tv, although over time I've discovered that there's a lot of things I used to iron that really don't need it. Paperwork I have a session at every month or so on a day off if the weather's bad and I don't want to go out.

What you need to work out is what is stressing you and why? If it all genuinely feels too much then you need to try to do something about it. If it's more stuff you feel you "should" be doing, then stop fretting about it and work out your own priorities. The way I look at it, is when I'm on my deathbed I'm going to be thinking about the things in my life I've enjoyed. Not wishing I'd cleaned the bathroom more often (unless I'm keeling over from diptheria or something.)

:T:T:T:T:T:T

My feelings exactly