Why was cancer not spotted?

wannabee_in_credit

My mother in law died of a brain tumour 3 years ago. It was 9 weeks from her diagnosis until her death.
I also did my PhD in the treatment of brain tumours, so fortunately (or not) I was well equipped to deal with her diagnosis when it finally came. As someone has already said, brain tumours are incredibly rare, and there are hundreds of other more likely causes for the symptoms they show - so they are difficult to diagnose.

There will continue to be good and bad days but it sounds as though there has been a good acceptance of what is to come. I'm really pleased that you're all still managing to enjoy your time together, and that you are there to support him and his wife through these difficult times.

Lots of love to you all

seven-day-weekend

Our friend is visiting the local Hospice this week. My husband is taking him tomorrow, with a view to staying in. My husband will stay with him until he decides what he wants to do. Our friend has said that it might be better for himself and his wife if he stays in.

He has deteriorated in the week since I have seen him, he looks sicker and is much more tired. His wife says his breathing has changed too.

Will update when necessary, thanks to everyone for the support.

marisco_2

I am so sorry to hear that your friends health is deteriorating. I am sure he will take much comfort from having your husband with him when he visits the hospice. My thoughts are with you at what must be a very worrying and upsetting time for you all. Sending you a big hug, stay strong.

Artytarty

You and your husband have been the best sort of friends for this couple.
You have shown your support in both emotional and practical ways. They are lucky to have you around.
Sorry to hear of the prognosis.

peachyprice

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Our friend is visiting the local Hospice this week. My husband is taking him tomorrow, with a view to staying in. My husband will stay with him until he decides what he wants to do. Our friend has said that it might be better for himself and his wife if he stays in.

He has deteriorated in the week since I have seen him, he looks sicker and is much more tired. His wife says his breathing has changed too.

Will update when necessary, thanks to everyone for the support.

My friend knew when it was time to go into the hospice, she fought to stay at home with her family for as long as she could, but eventually when she was no longer able to walk and her mind was going, that was it, she decided that enough was enough.

The staff there were lovely and really helped to make the last days of her life as best as they could possibly be.

seven-day-weekend

My husband took our friend to the hospice. He is going again on Thursday, for respite, but I think he there is a chance might be too ill to come home again. My husband is taking him as this is what our friend wants.

My husband said the hospice was a wonderful place, with a great sense of peace. There are no visiting hours, you can visit when you like and can even stay the night if you want. The room our friend will have was a big room, with ensuite and french windows opening out onto the garden, he could sit there in his wheelchair. He asked (joking), if he could get a drink in this posh hotel, the answer was , not only have they got a bar, but his visitors could take him to the Oddfellows (the pub over the road)

My husband said it was a wonderful place and really feels our friend would be better off going in there, as he would be well looked after and he and his wife can have quality time together, instead of her being worn out looking after him. However, the decision, at the moment, is our friend's.

Will keep the thread updated, thanks to all for your interest and support.

seven-day-weekend

Our friend is now in the hospice, has a lovely big room with french windows onto the garden, he can sit out in his wheelchair if he is well enough. We have just been to see him, he is weak but in good spirits.

I am pleased for him as he can get the professional care he needs, and for his wife as she could cope no longer.

It is good to know that he will die in peace, with dignity and without pain.

Galaxy1987

Unfortunately Dr's and consultants do get it wrong, thankfully get more right than wrong.

I have seen many people display symptoms that are 100% showing a condition and all test confirm this, it is not until further down the line it is realised it is also a symptom of a cancer.

At the age of 28 my mother fell on the road and went to her GP about a pain in her groin. It was exactly the type of injury that from the way she fell, after months of no recovery and many GP visits she was not further forward until a GP with Melanoma research background realised that with her skin type and historical sunburn it may be cancer in the lymphnodes. She was in theatre within the hour and diagnosed with melanoma skin cancer and started treatment straight away. After many treatments, radiography, chemo, expeimental treatment she died 3 months after her 30th birthday. We where angry but realised that the human body is so complicated that these things happens.

I have also been to my GP recently with symptoms of a type of cancer but as I have gilberts syndrome, these are also know effects.

Although the medical professionals are 'experts' they are not able to know it all.

Mojisola

Jayt1987 wrote: »

Although the medical professionals are 'experts' they are not able to know it all.

Many of these cases of cancer not discovered until too late is because doctors get into "blinkered" mode - I know this patient has x, therefore all symptoms are connected to that".

GPs can't be experts in all illnesses and they can't be right 100% of the time but they should be aware enough so that, if a person doesn't respond to treatment, they should look at other causes. Some don't seem able to do this.

Ukjubilee

I am very sorry to hear about your friend and I know exactly how you feel.

7 years and 13 days ago my mum died from secondary liver cancer, the primary was breast cancer. She had been operated on 9 years prior to this for the breast cancer so it was in her medical history but when she started going to the doctor in pain she was told she had IBS caused by stress. It was only when she went to see an emergency night doctor at the hospital because she was in so much pain that they said it couldn't be IBS and had her in the next day to confirm their suspicions...yes the cancer was back and by this point it was too far spread in the liver to be operable because it had been misdiagnosed. They gave her 6-12 months to live, she had her first chemo session about a month after the diagnosis. I came home from work a week before her second session was due and she was lying dead on the floor. She was 52 years of age.

For a long time I was angry and mistrusting of doctors but as time has progressed I have started to begin to trust them more. I know I will never completely trust a doctor again but I also know that some are very very good and you can't judge them all by a poor one, its just a hard emotional hurdle to get over.