Grievance against aggresive colleague

lisae03

Hello,

I would really appreciate some advice on this matter, I really don't no where to turn unfortunately I am not part of a Union. I have had ongoing issues with a colleague at my work place for around 13/14 months. We are in the same role so are equals in that respect. She has worked there for around 11 years and me 18 months. In April 2012 this colleague was given a final warning for using threatening behavior towards me. Things settled down and we didn't speak for a few months, no attempts at any mediation were attempted and we were just left to get on with it.

She eventually called a truce and we began talking again. I had trust issues with her but kept these to myself. I couldn't believe that someone who had received a warning due to my complaint could simply put it behind them. She was constantly reporting me for pety things with our duty managers and the Centre manager but nothing was ever raised as I think they realised she was just being pety. When we were talking she would constantly stir amongst other collegues. Every now and again she would have an unprovoked outburst and verbally abuse me. She is very aggressive and would shout at me and over me, I would always remain clam clearly make my point. It felt like whenever I made my point she would start bringing other things which were unrated into the argument. After an outburst we would have weeks where we didn't speak again. It was always her that would speak to me again and I would just go along with it in a bid to remain civil. There were times when a Duty Manger witnessed these verbal assaults and go and report them to the Centre Manger. She never said anything to me and I just kept my head down and got on with my job.

There have been 2 occasions this last couple of months where she has had outbursts at me. The first was in front of a duty manager and a line of customers. She was shouting at me and I simply responded ' leave me alone, I am not in the mood' and 'if you carry on I will report you'. This angered her more and it was her who went and reported me to management. Management could not believe how different our versions could be but mine had more stance as it was backed up by the duty manager. Nothing more was said and I felt like it had been brushed under the carpet, when I asked of I should put it into writing the Centre manager reassured me that they were going to arrange a meeting for the following week to discuss things. This meeting was arranged for my day off and I queried this but was told it wasn't going to being changed. It was half term and as I have children I was unable to attend.

Over the next 5 weeks we didn't talk and as usual there was an atmosphere. One morning I asked my colleague a simple work related question and she responded with a death stare, again I repeated it to which she had a massive outburst even coming up into my face at one point to intimidate me. Two other colleagues were standing nearby so I turned to them and said I hoped they were listening for when I reported her unprovoked verbal assault. Myself and my now agitated colleague were walking towards the staff room while she continued to shout at me, as I opened the door the assistant center manager and someone else of a managerial position looked on shocked, they could see I was visibly shaken and asked me if I was okay. I played it down and said I was fine and that she had just erupted at me. She assured me that it was not acceptable and that she would be taking the matter through personal. Once again on the Centre Manger's arrival my abusive colleague spent upto half an hour complaining about me. I later found out that she even cried. I had done nothing and went in with my version a few hours later and gave names of colleagues her could back me up. I was told that they would need to take statements and look into it. When I was telling my side myself and the center management were actually laughing at how pety it was. It was the next day it hit me when my colleague was still saunting around as if nothing had happened, I cried because. She is well known for her aggresive unreasonable behaviour but it is often dismissed that she is a fruit cake and it is only (insert name) and thats just how she is? Nothing seemed to be happening so they next week I put my complaint in writing and I received a letter and an invitation to go to a grievance meeting which took place on Monday. My colleague also put in a complaint about me. It was decided at the meeting that we could not work together whilst it had not been resolved. I was told to come to work as usual for my shifts and not to worry about her. She was due to do her hours later on so we didn't clash but rang in sick on the first day. The following day she had a meeting with the boss while I was on shift and again she did not work. She was also off sick today. I queried weather or not she had been suspended but the duty manager was confident that he would have been informed had that action had been taken. We submit time sheets weekly to get paid and her sheet was showing her normal shift pattern as if she had worked. I'm so upset that she is gala venting off work unpaid while I have to work harder covering her jobs and my own. Someone put it to me that she might be on 'garden' time. I wanted to go and query this so bad but decided it would do me no favours in the long run, at least until an outcome has been decided.

I know this is long but your thoughts and any advice would mean the world to me right now. I feel like crying and have thought about going to the doctors and getting signed off just to get away from it all but at the same time I want to be strong.

ValHaller

I was with you until it got to here

lisae03 wrote: »

I queried weather or not she had been suspended but the duty manager was confident that he would have been informed had that action had been taken. We submit time sheets weekly to get paid and her sheet was showing her normal shift pattern as if she had worked. I'm so upset that she is gala venting off work unpaid while I have to work harder covering her jobs and my own. Someone put it to me that she might be on 'garden' time. I wanted to go and query this so bad but decided it would do me no favours in the long run, at least until an outcome has been decided.

I know this is long but your thoughts and any advice would mean the world to me right now. I feel like crying and have thought about going to the doctors and getting signed off just to get away from it all but at the same time I want to be strong.

You should just leave it and carry on while you have the high ground. If she is or is not having garden leave, whether she is having a brain transplant or days out at Alton Towers is no concern of yours.

Just do your job and ask for support if doing hers as well is too much.

Dogger69

Management are dealing with the problem - that is all you need to be concerned with.

If she has chosen to go sick, whether that sickness is genuine or not, whether she is suspended/ on garden leave, are none of your business. I'd have thought you would be happy she is not there?

lisae03

Thank you for your replies. I can't help the feeling that she is swanning around on full pay while I have to graft. It's almost like she is being rewarded! I'm no victim but are your thoughts that this is along the lines of bullying?

Dogger69

lisae03 wrote: »

Thank you for your replies. I can't help the feeling that she is swanning around on full pay while I have to graft. It's almost like she is being rewarded! I'm no victim but are your thoughts that this is along the lines of bullying?

What you described earlier could be bullying, or a personality clash - impossible to know without all sides of the story. I doubt her decision (if it was hers) to call in sick has been taken to get at you.

mcfisco

lisae03 wrote: »

Thank you for your replies. I can't help the feeling that she is swanning around on full pay while I have to graft. It's almost like she is being rewarded! I'm no victim but are your thoughts that this is along the lines of bullying?

As other's have said, forget about what she's getting or not getting, it isn't your concern whether or not she's being paid for doing nothing or even on an - all expenses paid - around the world cruise.

To make it so, would be acting like a 13 yr old in a tantrum and do your case no good at all.

Claree__x

It might feel to you like she's galavanting at the moment but if she has been put on a suspension/leave I'd imagine she'll be more worried about losing her job - which you're safe in the knowledge you won't be.

I had a colleague like this once, she bullied 3 or 4 people until they eventually quit and I'd imagine she's still doing the same. Please stand your ground and make sure that she doesn't win.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

If you put a grievance in, it is probably in the procedure to suspend pending the investigation. What else do you expect them to do?

theoretica

She is the one who had to move shifts and must realise management are not believing her version of the story. If you are stressed enough to be considering sick leave she is probably worse. She could have been suspended, but it unlikely she is enjoying herself!

You can let management know you can only manage your own work load at present and are more affected by the situation than you had let on.

Mojisola

lisae03 wrote: »

Myself and my now agitated colleague were walking towards the staff room while she continued to shout at me, as I opened the door the assistant center manager and someone else of a managerial position looked on shocked, they could see I was visibly shaken and asked me if I was okay.

I played it down and said I was fine and that she had just erupted at me.

Why play it down? If you keep acting as if you're not upset but then put in a complaint, it won't be taken seriously.

ohreally

You have done the right thing.

Provide management with enough information to start their investigation and see where it goes. Try and take a step back and let events unfold.