Name & shame CSA-deadbeat dads

supermum38

I have a CSA case that's been running for nearly 13 years! It is still running as the father reused to accept arrears of £11,000 and has most recently given the CSA fraudulent tax returns-e.g stating earnings of only £895 when their investigation showed over £30,000 going through his accounts for the same period. They have now hit a wall, because they have to accept what HMRC has accepted.
I asked for a review and when he was reassessed to pay only £25 a week he stopped making any payments at all!
The problem is that since he has always been self-employed, he has been able to declare whatever he wants for earnings. In additon he used another name, obtained a passport & driving licence and had numerous bank accounts and credits cards in the other name. He was caught for the passport and prosecuted but this has made little difference to the case.
Sadly, his relationship with his children has eroded as they have gotten older and seen what their father is doing. He says he does not have time to see them but the reality is he doesn't want them to find out anything about his lifestyle which could be fed back to me and ultimately the CSA. They are now being excluded from his family-cousins, grandparents etc.
The worst part of all of this was as his wife I helped him set up the business, did his books, advertising, while working night shifts in a supermarket and looking after 2 under 5's. When he left he cleared out the bank accounts and left me penniless. Regardless of this I can proudly say I've managed without his help, lived on the breadline but still have two amazing intelligent sons who have been recognised as sucessful in everything they do/have done. He was abusive and I did not want to stay with him but put up with it as long as I could, and did not tell the boys until they started asking questions when they were older.

What sickens me is that he provides a service to people and clearly has a successful business (or it wouldn't be going this long!) but the customers don't know he is just pocketing the cash instead of declaring it and spending it on his lavish lifestyle. If those people knew what a despicable man he was they would probably think twice about using his services. Funnily enough I did a search and found a US website called 'deadbeat dads' but there doesn't seem to be anything like that in the UK. While 'naming & shaming' him would have to be a last resort, I think it only fair that other mums like myself should be able to grumble about failed CSA cases and name the fathers who have failed to contribute to their children's upbringing.
If there was the fear of having their names published so friends, work colleagues or customers might come across their name in this way, wouldn't this push some of them into doing the right thing?

There is no point complaining about the CSA anymore because they don't listen and I've heard that there are thousands of cases that are never resolved.

I wish 'anonymous' would get involved!

cakeforbrains

Interesting idea. The trouble is, some PWC might use it to name and shame NRP's who haven't actually done anything wrong.

It's almost like there needs to be some kind of recognised court set up to deal with failed CSA cases, so that it wasn't just down to a bunch of faceless civil servants (some of whom are brilliant, some less so). I know that child support used to be decided by courts, but that was back when there was no standardised calculations.

Just thinking out loud.

supermum38

On 'deadbeat dads' I believe anyone who is named can apply to have their name removed. I guess the damage is still done but I'm sure it works.
Could you imagine a dad who is refusing to pay child support who is named on the site and is one day approched by an aquaintance who says 'my ex-wife saw your name on 'deadbeat dad's'. do you not support your children?'

Sure, he might make excuses but I'm sure he would be more likely to make an effort!

krashovrload

++

I think naming and shaming could open up a whole world of hurt...

On the one hand you've got the 'Deadbeat Dad' and on the other you've got those PWCs who feel it's justified to accept maintenance but not to allow access visits...

++

cakeforbrains

krashovrload wrote: »

++

I think naming and shaming could open up a whole world of hurt...

On the one hand you've got the 'Deadbeat Dad' and on the other you've got those PWCs who feel it's justified to accept maintenance but not to allow access visits...

++

Sometimes this is justified surely? Like if the NRP is a potential danger to the children.

supermum38

Nowadays, contact and maintenance are dealt with by two different agencies. The fact is that contact is easily arranged by the courts if the father applies and is only denied in serious cases (ie abuse). In fact a mother can end up in jail if she does not comply but how many fathers have sucessfully been jailed for not paying maintenance?

It only takes a simple application to the county court for the father to arrange a hearing for contact that will be legally enforced but THEY must make the effort.

I find that fathers use the excuse of 'no contact' to refuse paying maintenance and therefore don't bother applying to courts.

When my ex's girlfriend made threats about taking the children from my care because i could not afford to provide for them, I stopped contact on the advice of my solicitor and applied for a residence order. He responded by applying for full custody! Then a year and a half later after I had offered two weeks in summer, one week at easter & xmas, with alternating weekends and additional days at half-term, he turned round and said he was too busy and only wanted to see them for 2 hours on a sunday but expected them to travel by bus an hour away. Needless to say that arrangement wasn't kept.

krashovrload

cakeforbrains wrote: »

Sometimes this is justified surely? Like if the NRP is a potential danger to the children.

++

Being dangerous is one thing but there have been posts where there seems to be no justifiable reason to stop access...

Now obviously, you only (normally) get one side of any story in the forums and where emotions/people are involved things are seldom straightforward...

++

kevin137

I've been on the other side of it, where i had access to my son, but not my daughter, different mothers...

And i had a contact order that was repeatedly breached and returned to court, and after 6 months of this, the damage was already done, the child was young, didn't really know me, when i did get to see her was upset, crying, wouldn't calm down, so the mother breached the order again citing duress to the child etc, and this was eventually seen through by the judge who told her that she would go to prison, that was 11 years ago, and to this day i still have not seen my daughter...

Why, she told the judge to save his time and send her to prison immediately as she would never agree to me seeing her daughter... HER daughter, not mine... I could not fight anymore, i was not in a position to take custody, i lived in a house share was working 60-80 hours a week to pay CSA for both children, and travelled extensively for work...

So i had no choice...

The judge was very good about it, and he made it very clear that she would pay for all my legal costs, and to write a letter to her every month, extra at xmas and b/day, and that the bill for the solicitors retaining this would be payable by HER... On the childs 18th b/day she will be given all of this info and copies of the courts orders... In the judges words, the child will see the mother for what she is, and will make her own choice, but that the mother has no place to hide with this...

It will be interesting to see how that plays out...

On the flip side, the child is 14 now, and my son is 18, he is now thinking about how he wants to contact her, and the best way to go about it, so she will know well before her 18th what the situation is, i have assured him that he can do what HE chooses, and he has to tell me nothing about any of it...

As for naming, well, naming is a good idea in principal, but the reality is, we all have problems with ex's, that is why they are ex's after all... It could in the UK cause many problems, and i am against it...

However, i am all for a case being returned to the courts and taken from the jurisdiction of the CSA if it is deemed non compliant within 6 weeks of opening, this hurries it up and leaves a system that does essentially work in most cases to deal with the bulk. But removes the complicated ones for courts who have experience and powers to impose justice much quicker to get a good end result...

supermum38

Thanks for your post Kevin.
It is really refreshing to see an honest and humble account of the problems you've had although this was definitely a thread that might upset some fathers.

I am truly sorry about the difficulties you've had. I am sure your daughter will one day see what happened and you will go on to form a real relationship. I understand this as I was similarly removed from any contact with my father at a young age and later in life reunited with him. We actually don't get on at all and since I have seen the legal letters back and forth I can understand why my mother kept him out of life. He did have custody of me until his future wife asked him to choose and he threatened to put me in a children's home. I have forgiven him and also my ex-husband.

Ultimately, I did not want to see my children torn apart from either parent and still allowed their father access while he refused to pay maintenance or even take them at times so I could get a better job. Sadly, their relationship has deteriorated because he and his current partner have been fighting the CSA case and they blame the children for the CSA investigation.

Hopefully your daughter will not be living in constant poverty as mine have done and she will not be able to say you did not try your best. I wish you all the luck in building a future relationship with your children.

I agree with what you say about the CSA and the courts. If contact and maintenance remained with the courts it would be a fairer system as both would legally enforceable. My frustration comes from constantly pushing the CSA to use what enforcement they have but they say they cannot for one reason or another. It is a terrible system that does not work for either party.

skibadee

Not all NRP's are Men.....so what about ''Deadbeat Mums'' !!!!!????

krashovrload

skibadee wrote: »

Not all NRP's are Men.....so what about ''Deadbeat Mums'' !!!!!????

++

Maybe we should simply use 'Deadbeats'...

Although I do remember seeing old BBC news reports about how the CSA seemed unable to recognise the possiblity that PWCs could be male...:cool:

++