Advice on claiming from my ex

Shopaholicmumof3

Thanks, Yes I have a friend I have told and she also said I have done the right thing, I'm just waiting for it all to kick off now, probably when he gets the letter :-(

I will ring them back in 2 weeks and make sure I keep notes of what is said.

Thanks for all your help and advice

Shopaholicmumof3

Okay so its all kicked of he (the ex) has been texting me saying if I go through CSA he will quit his job, Then he got his wife to ring me (from a strange number so I answered grghh!) she was saying all sorts!! She said to me that they will take 15% of his earnings they won't take into account his outgoings and that if she gets a job then they will take 15% of her income too! She said if I carry on with the claim he will quit his job and they will have to move and it will be all my fault! Husband isn't talking to me as he now knows I went to CSA and is really cross says he would rather not take a penny from them than put up with this! I think he is missing the point.

Keeping_Positive

Keep at it you've done the right thing. Your ex is just a bully throwing his toys out of the pram.

guruchelles

Shopaholicmumof3 wrote: »

Okay so its all kicked of he (the ex) has been texting me saying if I go through CSA he will quit his job, Then he got his wife to ring me (from a strange number so I answered grghh!) she was saying all sorts!! She said to me that they will take 15% of his earnings they won't take into account his outgoings and that if she gets a job then they will take 15% of her income too! She said if I carry on with the claim he will quit his job and they will have to move and it will be all my fault! Husband isn't talking to me as he now knows I went to CSA and is really cross says he would rather not take a penny from them than put up with this! I think he is missing the point.

I'm really gutted for you that your husband isn't supporting you yet with this. It does sound like he's missing the point.

Your ex's wife is right: they will take 15% of his (net) income and they won't take his outgoings into account, however they won't take her wages into account at all.

If your ex is going to be left hard up by paying out the correct amount of maintenance, then this is a consequence of having a child. It's not your fault.

Well done again. Stay strong. You're doing the right thing.

And if he does end up quitting his job simply to avoid paying maintenance then, frankly, he's a waste of space and since you're barely getting any money from him now anyway you won't be in any worse a position.

Keeping_Positive

What she said ^^^!

kevin137

I would simply reply by saying that is a government MINIMUM and that if he does not leave you alone, stop texting, and having his wife call then you will seek an injunction against him which could lead to criminal charges and prison...

I would also add that while you appreciate that it might be difficult for him to part with his hard earned money, he has a legal obligation to pay and that will never change now that the CSA is dealing with it, they will be dealing with it for the length of the claim now... Nothing will change that...

He might well come to terms that he has no choice, he may well quit his job, but the only one really suffering will be him at the end of the day...

FBaby

To be honest, I understand your husband position too. This is the conclusion my partner and I reached about my ex. What I was likely to get from him financially (through constant changes of jobs, cash in hand jobs, period of unemployment) wasn't worth the abuse that comes with my reminding him of his obligations.

I've given up trying to get something when he does work because the stress of it wasn't worth the financial money. Of course, that's because we can afford not to get it, but then if your ex indeed gives up his job, you won't get much anyway.

It is indirect blackmail, but I rather have an ex who is showing a bit more flexibility with contact as a unspoken agreement, then having him sending me nasty texts/emails and the kids feeling the tension, all this for a token amount.

Saying that, if you really need the money and don't believe his threat that he will give up his job, then I understand you pursuing that route too.

jungle_jane

Does he have a relationship with his daughter? Do they see each other and does she stay over with him and his wife?

If not then I would definitely seek an injunction as you should not be suffering the abuse you're getting. He is totally wrong here and as a matter of principle you need to see this claim through (including any backdated payments).

The way I see it, the tiny amount of money he is being asked to contribute towards the child he created is for her...so it's your daughter you are fighting for and not yourself. If he's going to cut off his nose to spite his face by quitting work - well you won't be any worse off than you are now and he will be a whole bunch poorer for it.

Stick to your guns - it's the right thing to do xx