Putting an end time to garden drinks party

Blackbeard_of_Perranporth

When the allotted time comes, just turn on the hose pipe.

You will have lots of fun and people will remember it.

Spendless

JodyBPM wrote: »

Am I the only one who thinks this is really rude? It would make me feel very unwelcome and uncomfortable, and I'd probably take a rain check.

Each to their own, I guess, but I tend to have a "mi casa es tu casa" approach to entertaining, and wouldn't dream of chucking guests out at a specified time. TBH if I wanted a set/earlier end time, I'd probably suggest a pub/restaurant rather than entertaining at home.

You're not the only one. Though I'm loathe to say I think it rude, I do think it odd and would wonder why I was being invited to a garden party that was at so awkward a time for the host (house refurbished, kids in bed). :cool: Most people arrange babysitters till a set time anyway and would go to be home to relieve them. When we entertain or when people come to us depending on the time of arrival go home somewhere between 10pm and midnight. We also only entertain on Fridays and Saturdays or Sundays if it's before a bank hol, so we don't need to issue written invites. Maybe the OP has 'party animal' friends though?

budgetboo

Not rude at all, in fact very polite and helpful as it saves anyone having to ring the host to ask anticipated end time.

As a guest it's very helpful to know when things are expected to wind down, so you can arrange the appropriate baby sitter cover (or increasingly I'm finding elderly parent cover as several of my mates are in their 50's & 60's meaning their own parents are in their 80's & 90's!).

As a single female I also like to book a personally KNOWN to me minicab driver to collect me at a set time if I know I'm gonna have a tipple. (My dad drummed the prebook rule into me in my teens and now I'm in my forties I can see the sense in this edict as you do hear such awful stories on the urban grapevine!)

The best guests know when to go home, the worst want to use your home as a 6 month free hotel :rotfl:

Drachenfach

Polite and very thoughtful.

Our neighbours were still knocking out the 'bangin tunes' at gone 11pm on Sunday night, so I would love to live next to you!

FairyPrincessk

Like Bitter and Twisted said--it isn't about telling people when to leave, it is about telling them what time the event is expected to finish. Polite guests will understand that this means they should leave, as the event to which they were invited has finished. Most people wouldn't think anything of putting an end time to an afternoon tea or birthday party, but find it awkward at night. I suspect this is because dinner invitations don't normally come with an end time, because they generally have a fairly natural ending. Personally, I think it is just good, courteous behaviour. It shows respect for your neighbours, allows people to arrange babysitters, transport, or coordinate with other family members or events. It tells them what sort of evening to expect (i.e. this is a garden party, not a house party for students running all night) and it prevents that awkward feeling many people might have if they think they're leaving too early. The phrase about "carriages at 10:30" is great. I might use that for my birthday party, as I too turn into a pumpkin!

Honeythief

Definitely not rude to give people an end time. I find it so normal and acceptable that I'm surprised you even asked!

I'd word it clearly, though, rather than confuse people by trying to be cute. You don't want to have people misunderstand the invitation.

LameWolf

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Some people need it spelled out or they're harder to shift than a case of boils!

That's very true; we used to have a former colleague of Mr LW's, a bit of a "Nobby No-Mates", over occasionally because we felt a bit sorry for him; and we found we had to be very blunt about "it's time you went home now, H, as Mr LW has to get up for work tomorrow" - this would be about 02:00 in the morning, after he'd been at ours since 20:00.

Eventually I couldn't cope with it any more, and we stopped inviting him.

From the point of view of the neighbours, if it was me, I'd be very glad to know when to expect the merriment in the adjacent garden to end; and yes, OK those who need to book babysitters will probably leave at a sensible time anyway, but not everyone has children, and those who don't may not be inclined to leave, or they may feel that if they leave too early they'll be seen as being rude themselves.

I'm probably not putting all this over well, but I hope you get what I'm trying to say.:o

CCP

Like (nearly) everyone else, I'd be fine with this - it's good to know what to expect as a guest, and even more so as a neighbour. I am perhaps still influenced by my new next door neighbour's house warming party a month or so ago, though, where one of his guests decided to show off his saxophone playing, in the garden, at 2am! :eek:

-taff

I'd be fine with it too. If you have children, most of your friends will, so they'll be glad to go home and pay the baby sitter less.
I wouldn't be annoyed by it or think it rude.

sonastin

I think the very real reality is that if everyone is having a good time and the neighbours aren't upset and no one is ready for the event to end, you'll keep going regardless of what you put on the invitation.

But if some people are fading/have babysitters waiting at home/have had enough, it will come to a natural end anyway as people drift away.

The problem only arises if the hosts fall into the second category but there are guests who fail to notice and think the whole party falls into category 1. These people need it spelling out to them in one way or another. It can seem a bit blunt to put it into the invite as some people will read it as "you're telling me I won't know when its time to leave" but on the other hand by managing expectations, you don't have to be rude come midnight when (sorry if!) someone hasn't taken the hint and you've no alternative but to tell them to **** off and throw them out on the street.

Or worse, they didn't book a taxi thinking it was going to be a late one and now all the other guests are gone, earliest the local cab firm can collect them is an hours time and you're sitting there trying to entertain them while you just want to go to bed and they would rather be anywhere else than clearly in your way while you're both trying to be polite about it.

A bit of upfront discomfort setting the boundaries for those who consider it rude is much better than the alternative of trying to wrest your peace&quiet back from guests who've outstayed their welcome.