Distraught!!!

heartbreak_star

dancingfairy wrote: »

How on earth did he get so mentally drunk and where on earth did he get an axe from? It all sounds awful.
Maybe this is a lucky escape for you.
I do hope you and your baby are o.k and you are recovering from this awful shock.
Take care.
df

Agree with the mentally drunk - I'd have been incapable of moving by that point - but if you have a wood burning stove you probably have an axe for wood - they're not hard to get hold of.

I too hope the OP and her baby are OK, and that this will be the shock her OH needs to not do anything so crazy again!

HBS x

System

Thanks everyone.

I'm seeing a benefits adviser tomorrow about that side of things, but yes, I'm certainly on my own in the meantime.

OH has never been great on drink but nothing even close to this. We have been under horrendous stress from the mother of his kids. NOT an excuse, just how it is.

And I do feel so sorry for those poor people and their cars.

System

Hi everyone

I've composed my letter to creditors. Do you think there is anything else I should say?

I am sorry not to have been in touch sooner. I am writing to advise you that I am afraid my
circumstances have changed and that I expect to be living alone.

I recently had to change jobs as redundancies were being threatened in the previous one, and commenced my new post as a community staff nurse on 4th March 2013. I then discovered that I was pregnant and do not qualify for maternity pay as I have not been in post for long enough. On 15th May we moved home because my partner's two young children had to move in with us at short notice because their mother was not coping, but overall the move was to reduce my proportion of the outgoings.

There was terrible pressure on both of us caused by the emotional trauma to the children. On Sunday 26th May, very unexpectedly, my partner had a psychological breakdown and carried out vandalism on 9 cars in the area and smashed some windows in our home. He has had some mental health problems previously but not anything criminal like this. He is now in prison awaiting sentence and I have had to tell the landlord that he is not coming back as I cannot risk the tenancy, leaving me to shoulder all of these costs alone. There are also some repair costs to the property.

I am desperate not to move as I have only just had the upheaval of one move and the pressure is too much.

I am terribly distressed at the moment and it is a struggle to provide factual information. I have not yet been able to calculate my budget, and to make appropriate plans for the maternity period. To remedy the situation I am just looking into the benefits I will be entitled to at this time, and will notify you of my budget as soon as I am able. This means that I will only be able to make a token payment this month.

I would very much appreciate your understanding in this, as I have consistently made good, reliable progress on the debt so far and am very committed to paying the debt off.

Newyorkdreams

Hi AoB - just wanted to stop by and say hi. I can't offer advice re creditors but I just wanted to give you a bit of support.

I understand that people can 'flip' and not be in their nature - it's often the straw that breaks the camel's back. I'm no expert but I would imagine first offence, pleaded guilty, no previous and remorse will go a long way to avoiding a custodial sentence. The court may hand out a punishment that is outwith a prison and may include a mental health assessment and counselling for his drink problem (because it has now become a problem).

Whatever happens, I hope that you will be ok. You do not need stress like this when you are expecting a baby!!!

Do yourself and your baby a favour and think long and hard whether you want to be with a man that can do this. Only you can decide that.

Take care and good luck with everything.

NYD x

System

Hi NYD

Thanks for taking the time. It is very hard because he is now not allowed to contact me, so I have no idea where his head is at to get any sense of whether he wants to get over this or has finally let hard times get the better of him.

There is talk of a short prison sentence or probation with a drink programme, as you suggest, and I think this could be the best, but it is up to him.

xx

matttye

Ashamed_of_Bristol wrote: »

Hi NYD

Thanks for taking the time. It is very hard because he is now not allowed to contact me, so I have no idea where his head is at to get any sense of whether he wants to get over this or has finally let hard times get the better of him.

There is talk of a short prison sentence or probation with a drink programme, as you suggest, and I think this could be the best, but it is up to him.

xx

I would imagine there will be a pre-sentence report drafted by a probation officer to assist the court with sentencing. This usually gives the court an insight as to whether a community punishment will be suitable. The court doesn't have to go with the recommendation in the PSR, but they usually do take it into account.

If you write to the governor at the prison asking that your partner be allowed to contact you they might allow it. That is of course if you want to speak to him. We have had clients on bail be allowed to talk to their partners (who are witnesses) after their partner requested the court allow them to do so. In this case though, it won't have anything to do with the court because he's remanded, so it must be the prison not allowing him to contact you.

Prison law is not my strong point. It seems reasonable that you would be allowed to talk to him if you want though, as you are not a co-accused.

System

Thanks Mattye

He has been convicted now as he admitted to everything as soon as sober. Is it still the prison governor I need to write to?

x

matttye

Ashamed_of_Bristol wrote: »

Thanks Mattye

He has been convicted now as he admitted to everything as soon as sober. Is it still the prison governor I need to write to?

x

It would be a good first step. If the prison says no you might need to seek legal advice.

K9sandFelines

Sorry im on an iPod and somehow have managed to report this as spam. Apologies

nat21luv

That's really nice of your landlord to let you stay there, who paid for the damage?

Do you really want to stay with a man who smashed windows to your home knowing you were in there and pregnant with his child? Think long and hard, this man could flip again at any point and may direct his anger to your baby...