Here we go again!

cornbuddy

Just a little rant as I am so fed up today.
My partner and I had words a couple of weeks ago (I told him to stop moaning) and since then we have hardly said anything to each other. Apparently it's my attitude that's the problem - I had to laugh at this as I am in my 40's so not a teenager lol!
Today I am in the wrong because I didn't suggest that we go out for the day - hardly likely when he leaves the room if I go in so why go out and be miserable if we can't even sit together.
We have often had these spells where there is this atmosphere but I think maybe I am finally getting to the point where enough is enough. Life is too short to live in an atmosphere and surely telling someone to 'stop moaning' does not or should not lead to this!

Pechow

You can have an attitude without being a teenager though?

What was he moaning about? He may have felt it was important to him, or that you belittled/played down whatever he was upset about, and in turn became upset about that.

Sounds like you both need to work on your communication towards each other. His leaving the room is a bit childish (though maybe he sees it as trying to avoid a fight? Who knows), but haven't either of you tried talking about the issue? If you've had enough, then that's fine, but it seems a bit odd to go without talking to your partner for weeks.

CH27

Being 40 + doesn't mean you can't have an attitude problem.

What was the initial argument about? Does he feel as though his opinion & feelings don't matter to you?

Not talking for long spells indicated real communication faults which you need to resolve.

marisco_2

If you want to get your marriage back on track then it is going to take for both of you to change your attitudes. You say that you had words two weeks ago where you told him to stop moaning. Maybe you were justified in saying that, we dont know as we aren't party to what the disagreement was about. To be honest with you though I think it is a rude and negative thing to say to a loved one. That phrase does send a message to the person recieving it that their view point isn't being taken seriously and that you aren't interested in listening to them.

Instead of addressing this with you and then trying to continue to resolve the initial problem your husband withdrew from you. Leading you both to be in the stalemate you are now in. Angry and resentful of each other and blaming one another for what must be an awful atmosphere in your home. It is not healthy to be like this. Communication is all but broken between you both as things stand.

If either of you values the other one at all you are going to need to swallow your pride, bite the bullet and have a frank and open discussion with each other about where you are at and where you go from here. Good luck and I do hope you manage to sort things out.