self sabotage, struggling and teenagers!

prettyplease

Thanks valhaler, for the advice but also for quoting me. I just reread that with a fresh pair of eyes and what you say makes complete sense. I need to establish a healthier relationship with money. Going to start today by scrubbing my house for a fresh clean start! However usually at this point i would give up and go on a spending spree so i guess thats progress. many thanks all xx

ValHaller

prettyplease wrote: »

Thanks valhaler, for the advice but also for quoting me. I just reread that with a fresh pair of eyes and what you say makes complete sense. I need to establish a healthier relationship with money. Going to start today by scrubbing my house for a fresh clean start! However usually at this point i would give up and go on a spending spree so i guess thats progress. many thanks all xx

Part of that healthier relationship with money is getting the past and the present untangled from each other. If you can just let the debt sit there and pay minimums for the time being, hopefully you will keep the current account in balance and growing. When that happens, you will know that you are at least on top of your current situation and hopefully you will be feeling loads better about it all

prettyplease

Just wanted to say thanks Butti - I bought the Alvin Hall book and have read 92 pages. Its fabulous and really making me think about my relationship with money. Today is payday, Im going to pay some debt off this month (inevitable as most of my cards are on 0%) but not going to kill myself or feel bad as its an expensive month. And just paid 2 cards off with small balances so have made a psychological gain.

Thanks to all who replied, honestly your considered and empathetic responses really helped keep me on track :T

MiMi66

ValHaller wrote: »

Stop making extra payments for the time being. Concentrate on getting your current account into the black and staying there with a growing surplus. Once you have done that you know you are on top of your day to day finances and the debts are part of your history.

Only overpay towards your debts out of a real and genuine surplus in your current account. There is no absolute need to reduce your debt to £15000 by Christmas, although targets are not a bad idea.

But you risk scuppering yourself with over ambition that keeps your debts mixed in with your current situation so you never feel on top of the current situation.

Good advice I think - I shall ponder on that in my own journey - not a Overdraft user by habit, but tend to use a day to day CC (same thing really isn't it.)

kerri_gt

Hey, didn't want to just read and run, but as a thought, how about setting aside a small treat amount from your budget to kerb the overspending urge? That way you can spend on a treat without feeling guilty. It doesn't have to be a large amount, even a nice bottle of bubble bath to give yourself some 'me' time. I think this is especially important if you can afford it, and are a long haul DFW.

scorpiod

Wish you all the best in you debt free journey