ex partner and my rights

exnortherner

I'm so sorry I have not been on this site to look at all your very helpful replies. I'm afraid the situation has worsened as he has not paid the gas or electricity since Feb either!!!

I thank you all so much for taking the time out to advise me. I will get onto the Land Registry as well as the mortgage company. Thanks a million

RAS

Ring the CSA today and get a claim in.

rpc

Bear in mind that even though he has agreed to pay the mortgage, you are still liable for the debt as long as your name is on it. The bank could come after you for the arrears - if you look like a better target, they probably would.

newcook

exnortherner wrote: »

I'm so sorry I have not been on this site to look at all your very helpful replies. I'm afraid the situation has worsened as he has not paid the gas or electricity since Feb either!!!

Not that Im sticking up for him but why would he be paying utility bills for utilities he isnt using? you say you split up a year ago - really you should have transfered water/electric/gas/phone etc into your own name.

Gigervamp

newcook wrote: »

Not that Im sticking up for him but why would he be paying utility bills for utilities he isnt using? you say you split up a year ago - really you should have transfered water/electric/gas/phone etc into your own name.

Maybe he's like my ex who wouldn't allow me to take over the bills and mortgage payments. He insisted on paying them until the house was sold.

It's a form of control.

zzzLazyDaisy

newcook wrote: »

Not that Im sticking up for him but why would he be paying utility bills for utilities he isnt using? you say you split up a year ago - really you should have transfered water/electric/gas/phone etc into your own name.

It is quite common for couples to come to an agreement that the ex will continue to pay mortgage and utilities in lieu of maintenance.

I was astonished when my cousin and my friend both told me that they had this arrangement. It seems to happen more when the husband is the one who has announced he is leaving. It also seems to happen when the split is ambivalent and there may be a possibility that they may get back together - or perhaps more realistically one person is hanging onto this belief and the other doesn't have the balls to rock the boat (not saying this is the case for OP).

The problem is that it leaves the ex with too much control over the wife's finances - down to checking the itemised phone bill and quizzing her on calls, in my cousin's case. Also once a new gf comes on the scene, the formerly honourable ex-husband and father suddenly finds he has better things to do with his money.

It takes all sorts and sometimes people are in such shock or denial when a marriage ends that it can take them months to sort out the practicalities.

newcook

Gigervamp wrote: »

Maybe he's like my ex who wouldn't allow me to take over the bills and mortgage payments. He insisted on paying them until the house was sold.

It's a form of control.

I can understand it on the mortgage side of it but surely with the utility bills you can just call up, give the final reading of when the ex was there and change the names and payment details to your own?
same way that when ever I have moved house I contact the gas/electric/CT and tell them I am the new tenant and give the readings.

Gigervamp

newcook wrote: »

I can understand it on the mortgage side of it but surely with the utility bills you can just call up, give the final reading of when the ex was there and change the names and payment details to your own?
same way that when ever I have moved house I contact the gas/electric/CT and tell them I am the new tenant and give the readings.

Good point, but, you know, I never even thought of that!

zzzLazyDaisy

Gigervamp wrote: »

Good point, but, you know, I never even thought of that!

Of course if you do this, you take the risk that he will say 'okay, you want the responsibility for the bills, you pay them'. Once they are in your name, they are your responsibility. If you haven't gone to the CSA, I'd suggest that you do that and get child maintenance sorted out before you get the utilities transferred into your name.

pinkshoes

exnortherner wrote: »

I'm so sorry I have not been on this site to look at all your very helpful replies. I'm afraid the situation has worsened as he has not paid the gas or electricity since Feb either!!!

I thank you all so much for taking the time out to advise me. I will get onto the Land Registry as well as the mortgage company. Thanks a million

You are EQUALLY responsible to make these payments...

Just a thought, but is he actually earning enough to pay a mortgage, your bills, his bills, then presumably rent elsewhere?

There's wanting to keep a roof over your kids head, then not having enough to live on!!

If he's a financial advisor, he won't have taken the decision to default lightly, as it could cost him his career.

Are you on speaking terms? Could you come up with an alternative, or perhaps look at getting the house sold? (is the house on the market?)