Help with maternity pay and problems

Miamaia

I found that quite patronising. I worked all my life and to be a parent is by far the most important work of all. I've paid taxes all my life and Ive seen where there spent in government so dont appreciate being lectured on that, when the very people in power are abusing the system, I do not feel the need to respect that idea either, nor that i dont qualify for some help in my situation given this.
As for someone else being my fathers carer, I dont know what experience you have had in that field yourself, but i work within it and I have seen it's utter failings, getting worse by the year.
So I would not want someone else to care for him, as that is something that very rarely happens to these people.
I see a mother and a father as equally important both in love and time, I do not see the point in having a child who never gets to see his father because he is out working all the time. Its not like im saying we both want to just go on benefit is it, Im trying to find a reasonable way to make it work, excuse a girl for trying huh.

Thanks to all for your input. I dont want to upset the boards by a huge debate opening out over what is a genuine query. I wanted help not someone else uninvited and judgemental opinion of what im doing.

i will find my answers elsewhere. But again many thanks to all who tried to help me,
Mia.

Regards Mia.

flashnazia

Kayalana99 wrote: »

Thiers no problem.

Your entitled to maternity pay regardless of how close they are together..you could have 9 kids in a row and they would have to pay it.

Its illegal for them to not pay you maternity leave unless they have a vaild reason (i.e like you havn't worked thier long enough)

I'm sorry but this is incorrect. You have to earn a certain amount in a certain period before the baby is born in order to qualify for smp. If the OP is on unpaid leave this may affect any entitlement.

notanewuser

Miamaia wrote: »

I found that quite patronising. I worked all my life and to be a parent is by far the most important work of all. I've paid taxes all my life and Ive seen where there spent in government so dont appreciate being lectured on that, when the very people in power are abusing the system, I do not feel the need to respect that idea either, nor that i dont qualify for some help in my situation given this.
As for someone else being my fathers carer, I dont know what experience you have had in that field yourself, but i work within it and I have seen it's utter failings, getting worse by the year.
So I would not want someone else to care for him, as that is something that very rarely happens to these people.
I see a mother and a father as equally important both in love and time, I do not see the point in having a child who never gets to see his father because he is out working all the time. Its not like im saying we both want to just go on benefit is it, Im trying to find a reasonable way to make it work, excuse a girl for trying huh.

Thanks to all for your input. I dont want to upset the boards by a huge debate opening out over what is a genuine query. I wanted help not someone else uninvited and judgemental opinion of what im doing.

i will find my answers elsewhere. But again many thanks to all who tried to help me,
Mia.

Regards Mia.

All your life? We're you some sort of child star?!

I worked for 18 years before having my daughter. We decided it was worth me giving up work to be home with her while she was little. That has cost us £100k in the 2.5 years since she's been born.

We don't get a penny from the state. DH spends plenty of time with DD despite working more than full time.

I've given you the information you wanted. I stand by my opinion that the state should not fund your choices. Perhaps you should have saved some money before having children.

skintchick

Mia, this is an internet forum. You will get people's opinions, and to be honest so far they have beeen tame.

I agree with what notanewuser has said, in that you should not expect taxpayers (and yes I know you have paid tax, so have we all my dear) to fund your lifestyle choices.

It is crazy for your partner to drop 10k when you are about to have another child, and will have two small children to look after.

You may get better responses on the mateernity pay and tax credits over on the benefits board, although people on here are knowledgeable I get the sense that they are staying out because a few would have some harsh words for you!

Obviously you need to deal with the situation you are in but I think you are going to find it nigh on impossible to look after two very small children AND your father, without totally burning out, and I urge you to look into other options.

I also think you and your partner should aim to earn enough to support yourselves, especially as you are obviously both capable.

But try asking over on benefits and see if they can help on your specific questions regarding maternity and tax credits. I only had MA but we had previously budgeted so that I could give up work and we live on my husband's income (43k). It's tight sometimes but we are mostly comfortable. It will be very hard on 16k!!

And do please brace yourself for harsh responses - the internet tends to bring out the honesty in people