Rediscover and enjoy

lsr103 · 16 May 2013 at 7:07AM

There is absolutely no doubt that many, if not most, of my friends and acquaintances continue to tighten belts and, in some cases, positively struggle, in what the Government still can't decide whether to call a recession or a depression. People in perfectly respectable paid employment are finding their financial circumstances slipping and those job-hunting are, in many cases, finding the task to be an uphill struggle. Negative equity on homes hangs over many people like a stubborn raincloud which - with the best will in the world - shows no sign of moving in the foreseeable future.

People look tired, seem to be ageing prematurely and - in many cases - are piling on the weight. More saddeningly, I've noticed financial pressures becoming corrosive within families (who are basically close and loving) to the point where members fall out and blame each other for problems which are far beyond their control.

I don't want to sound like Mary Poppins, but I have a few suggestions which might help.

1) Fall back in love with your home. Stop dwelling on negative equity and being unable to move/sell. If you are unfortunate enough to find that your house is no longer worth what you're ending up paying for it, forget it as a bad investment and remember that it is primarily your home and that you are unlikely to be moving from it for quite some time. Try and keep it tidy and clean rather than resenting that you can't sell it. Make a family project of redecorating. This really doesn't need to be expensive if everyone chips in and there's never been a cheaper time for hiring in an expert to tackle trickier jobs. Discovering that where you live looks pretty darn nice all of a sudden is a great upper.

2) Socialise. It's easy to cut yourself off from friends when you don't feel terrific about your own circumstances. A couple of bottles of something quaffable with a bit of hummus, nibbles and a favourite CD in good company don't half lift the spirits (and can cost next to nothing). Pleasant evenings chez nous also help fall back in love with the home we bought, basically, because once upon a time it was where we wanted to live. Make it be again, even if it has one bedroom fewer than might be ideal. Turn it back into a haven and there's no better way of doing that than to make it the place you feel happiest with your closest friends. One tip: steer clear of money-talk and house-price comparisons when socialising - no explanation necessary!

3) Find stuff to do. That National Trust place I've driven past daily for the past five years but never visited; the local art gallery; the farmers' market; that funny little craft-collective with the whole-food cafe... Make yourself go and - if it's half-way decent - take other people along. Again, it's all about falling back in love with where you already are.

4) Be realistic and be positive. Avoid thinking: "if only..." and start thinking: "What's available to me?" It is both futile and self-destructive to to dwell on what might have been and to fantasise about how much better life could have been given different conditions. I know it's a truism (but they're called truisms for a reason); the only starting point worth bothering with is: We are where we are - what are our viable options?

5) Guard against isolation. You're no less of a person because you're experiencing financial difficulties. Anyone who thinks worse of you for having money-problems isn't worth bothering with anyway and it's very important that you don't think less of yourself either. That said, share anxieties with close friends and people you can trust and never be afraid of seeking professional help either for financial advice (there's plenty which comes free of charge) and if you find yourself feeling incessantly blue - there might be more of a problem than just a tightening budget.

That's all, really - time to put the kettle on!