What to wear and take to a Sikh wedding?

shallowpockets

Hi here's my thoughts;

Gift - something personal is always appreciated as most people tend to give money and it would be nice I'm sure for your friend to have something as a momentoe of the wedding, perhaps you could give her a nice frame and then take an informal photo of you and other friends with the happy newlyweds and put it in afterwards.

Outfit - what about a long maxi dress/maxi skirt that would solve the problem of covering legs (a definate must in my opinion in the gurdwara) arms are fine on show.
Headscarf in matching fabric which could be brought from an indian fabric shop really cheaply and you could double it up as a stole afterwards. I wouldn't suggest you go down the sari route tbh 'cos they are quite hard work unless it's really light material and it's been put on correctly - if you really want to wear one ask whoever is helping you to have the sari pleats 'sewn in' because they can often come undone and it's going to be difficult for you to sort it out.

Good luck and anything else you want to know just ask.

poorbabe

I've come over all emotional 'sob'.

One of the reasons why I love this site is the help we give to each other. Group hug!

karendb

I'm English, married to an Asian man. I would usually wear traditional Indian clothes to an asian wedding. I've seen many westerners wear indian clothes and it doesn't look out of place at all. In fact, it usually goes down really well & you'll get some nice comments from the Indian ladies there! As far as I'm aware, you'll only need to cover your head at certain times, not the whole day and your "Chunnee" (long decorative scarf that goes with the indian suits) would suffice to cover your head when necessary. Copy what the other ladies are doing and you won't go too far wrong!

It's a great idea to ask your friend to take you shopping as the asian fashions change very quickly and you don't want to wear something that's really out of date. Don't forget jewellery as well. A LOT is worn on these occasions. Your friend might be able to lend you some of hers. Otherwise, ask - there's loads of Asian style costume jewellery you can buy to match your suit.

Also, don't forget to take some cash with you to the wedding, even if you're buying a gift. Have some notes and pound coins to hand. Money gets handed out like confetti at these weddings and you don't want to get caught short.

Otherwise, have a great time!

Gingernutmeg

Thanks for the advice everyone I'm still thinking about the outfit, but the Salwar Kameez sounds like a better idea than the sari. As for gifts, my step-father makes beautiful hand-turned wooden bowls which my friend has always admired, so I'm thinking of asking him if he'd make me one.

Anyway, thank you all so much and keep the advice coming!

fantasmarifico

Hi Ginger

I've been to many Sikh weddings so I can definitely help you out.

First off, what should I wear (I'm female btw)?

If you are going to wear western clothing, I would suggest a longer, flowy skirt or pants. If you are choosing an Indian style of dress, salwaar kameez = best choice.

A few pointers about clothing, choose:
- loose clothing that will easily allow you to sit on the floor
- something conservative as it is a respected place of worship
- something pretty that makes you feel good!

And are there any 'rules' about what men should wear?
- most men wear dress slacks and collared shirts with or without a tie or a suit
- some men wear the traditional “kurta pyjama” a long tunic with loose pants

Personally I'd love the chance to wear something traditional but would this be seen as odd?
- no, you will get smiles for sure! :j you will see lots of pretty hair dos under scarves, makeup and jewelry, so feel free to do the same.

I'm assuming that there will be certain rules about covering body-parts etc, is this right?
- generally both men and women cover their legs, and wear modest neck lines
- heads are covered out of respect (safe to say, cover your head before entering the main sanctuary of the temple where the Holy Scriptures reside and the wedding ceremony will happen and don’t worry about the head covering when eating in a separate room)

Are there any colours that I shouldn't wear?
- traditionally, beautiful, lively, vibrant colours are worn at weddings

The wedding may seem to go on for a long time (especially if you are not used to sitting on the floor) as there are speeches and other songs and hymns sung before and after the ceremony. But the actual ceremony of marriage begins when the bride, groom and their families rise for the standing prayer and ends when the congregation has received the sweet pudding.

A few tidbits:
- to keep the scarve on your head, attach to hair with a pretty barrette
- feel free to enter and leave when you need to except when someone is reading from the Holy Scriptures or when the couple is taking the 4 ceremonial rounds around the Holy Scriptures
- do turn your cell phone on silent

The pdf file Donger20 posted re: the Sikh Wedding ceremony is EXCELLENT. I would really reccommend printing it and taking it along to the wedding so you may get a deeper experience of the event.

Have a great time!

thunderbird

Sorry to butt in here, but I am going to a Sikh wedding in a couple of weeks and am a bit nervous about the whole thing and don't want to do anything wrong or offend anyone.

It is my brother's wedding and his fiancee is sikh.

They are having a civil cermony the week before and I have bought an outfit for that, now I'm not too sure if it is ok for the sikh ceremony?
I have a silk dress which is fairly fitted and goes to below the knee. Obviously I would not be able to sit cross-legged in it
I do have a triangular scarf that matches that I was going to take to put over my head.

I'm also concerned about our children, 2 boys; 7 and 5 yrs old. Will they have to wear something on their heads? I imagine it will be difficult to get them to keep them on if they do. Also, will they be expected to sit quietly for the whole ceremony?

Thanks in advance for any advice.

Gingernutmeg

I went to the wedding on Sunday and it was amazing - very loud lol!

We only went to the Sikh ceremony, not the civil one, and I wore salwar kameez. You will be expected to sit on the floor during the ceremony so it's a good idea to wear something that you can easily do this in (I think the ceremony lasted over an hour, so you do need to be fairly comfotable). If you do want to wear salwar kameez and you're not able to get to a shop, I can really recommend Utsav sarees. I got mine from here and despite it coming from India and being made to order, I had it about a week after placing my order. They have a live chat facility too (obviously it's on Indian time lol) which is helpful if you're like me and you're not entirely sure what you're doing.

Men do have to wear something on their heads too. At the ceremony I went to, there were boxes of silky 'headscarves' for the men available outside the temple, although these had all gone by the time we arrived. However, there were boxes of fabric pieces available and my partner wore one of these, but the headscarves seemed much easier to keep on so if you can get those them I think that'd be better. There were a few small boys there and they were all wearing something on their heads. You also have to take your shoes off when you go into the main room.

The ceremony was long, but it seemed ok for people to leave and come back in - I'd imagine that you don't do this during the prayers though. Men and women sat separately, although there were some little girls sat on their dad's knees so it seems like it's not as strict for children I was genuinely suprised at how well behaved the children were in the temple, they did sit fairly quietly through the whole thing.

boombap

Hi all,

Apologies to revive an old thread but thought it was better than starting a new one but I have a few questions and I'd be very grateful if anyone can help me out. Apologies in advance if some of these are daft questions....

1. As a general rule of thumb is it the same protocol for both Sikh and Hindu weddings? I'm attending a Sikh ceremony in the morning and then a Hindu one later on in the afternoon (same couple).

2. I know you have to remove shoes in the Gurdwara but is it ok to have tights on underneath? I'm not proposing to take them off in the middle of the temple by the way! Also re shoes is it ok to have high heels or are flats a better bet? Is nail varnish on the toes ok?

3. Are there any colours of dresses best avoided? ie it wouldn't be on turning up to a standard 'white' wedding in a big white dress. I was thinking of wearing a slightly Indian inspired yet western long turquoise dress.

4. Although my head will be covered in the Gurdawara I've seen a beautiful hairband with peacock feathers on that I'd like to wear. What's the score with animal products in the temple? Are there any no-nos I should know about, especially in regard to peacocks?

I know it's a muddle of questions but I don't want to end up looking like a berk.

Thanks in advance all!

S.