What to wear and take to a Sikh wedding?

Gingernutmeg

Hello, I'm just wondering if anyone could give me any advice. A close friend (who is Sikh) is getting married soon and I've been invited to the wedding ceremony. I'm not sure what the conventions are for Sikh weddings so if anyone can tell me anything I'd be really, really grateful - I have had a look online but I'd love to hear some personal experiences!

First off, what should I wear (I'm female btw)? And are there any 'rules' about what men should wear? Personally I'd love the chance to wear something traditional but would this be seen as odd? I'm assuming that there will be certain rules about covering body-parts etc, is this right? Are there any colours that I shouldn't wear?

Also, what are the conventions for wedding gifts? It is usual to take a present or is it more common to take money, and are there any guidelines as to how much this should be roughly?

Sorry to sound like a complete noggin but I really don't know what to expect! How long is the ceremony, and what actually happens - is there anything that I will be expected to do?

Thanks for any help and advice!

elsien

Can't help you with gifts, but some friends who went to a sikh wedding borrowed the traditional stuff off a friend, and said they didn't feel/look odd at all. Could you ask the person who invited you for more guidance?

Gingernutmeg

My friend just said 'wear whatever you like' lol ... not much help at all! She's recently sent me a picture of her 'civil' ceremony and she wore a sari, so I'm thinking that must be the right kind of traditional outfit. Like I said, I'd love to wear a sari although I've not got a clue how to get it to stay on

LilMissEmmylou

tell ur friend u would like to wear traditional dress and would she help you pick something and show you how best to wear it

I used to have a Sikh friend and she was always saying she wanted to put me in tradtional dress lol, i however never let her due to the fact i thought id look a bit daft haha.

Enjoy the wedding x

Gingernutmeg

Thanks for the tips!

seashore321

I personally would just ask your friend again what she would like you to wear and what is acceptable.perhaps ask her if she has the time to go with you and give advice. I don't think you should try to "fit in" because sometimes in being politically correct we b..lls it up big style.

All I know is that when I went to a sikh wedding I had to cover my head with a long scarf. Ask her what the protocol is as you do not want to offend her religion and go from there.

I wish her every good luck in her marriage and you as her friend.


:heart2:

Gingernutmeg

Thanks I think I'll try to organise a shopping trip with her - thankfully we live in London so there'll be plenty of choice. Offending anyone or looking like a total twit is what I'm most worried about, so I'll go and have a long chat and get her to help me!

reehsetin

where ever you are in london, you'll find a main area of asian shops if shes not able to go with you show you, pop down to the asian areas one day and pick out something you like the look of and they'll be able to show you how to wear it
i would maybe avoid a sari unless youll have someone on the day to help you put it on
trouser or skirt outfit would be a lot easier

then again if you really want to wear a sari you can get pre made ones, everythings styled the way of a sari but its actually a skirt - a LOT easier

Gingernutmeg

reehsetin wrote: »

where ever you are in london, you'll find a main area of asian shops if shes not able to go with you show you, pop down to the asian areas one day and pick out something you like the look of and they'll be able to show you how to wear it
i would maybe avoid a sari unless youll have someone on the day to help you put it on
trouser or skirt outfit would be a lot easier

then again if you really want to wear a sari you can get pre made ones, everythings styled the way of a sari but its actually a skirt - a LOT easier

Ooo, thanks for that - I was a bit worried because saris do look like a two-man job! I'm really looking forward to going

Katra

Hi Gingernutmeg,

I had a sikh wedding a few years ago (my husband is Sikh and I'm not). My mum wore a western style trouser suit with a headscarf. Most of my friends wore long skirts or dresses and covered their hair with pretty scarves.

We had a great mix at our wedding, lots of non-Sikh people there and everyone looked great regardless of wearing asian clothes or not, there is no strict code as long as your head is covered. When I go to Sikh weddings now I wear an asian trouser suit (long tunic style top and matching trousers) which are easy to wear and can be really gorgeous.

Men also need to cover their head. My brothers had a square of black cloth folded into a triangle and just tied like a bandana.

Gift wise it is traditional to give money. At the end of the ceremony in the temple we sat at the front and most of the guests queued and gave us money. Not everyone did this, some of my friends had bought gifts instead.

I hope some of that helps. Feel free to ask me any other questions and I can also ask my OH if I don't know

I'm sure you will have a fab time :j

Donger20

Hi,

You can download this little pdf which will give you some info about a Sikh wedding (the religious bit):

http://www.sikhspirit.com/khalsa/wedding.pdf

I wrote it a while ago as a handout to be given to people new to Sikh Weddings. Hope it is useful. It sounds a bit formal, but relax and you will enjoy the wedding. The actual ceremony is not that long - maybe half an hour - but there are often hymns sung and speeches etc. which will extend this. Hopefully, someone will also explain what is going on in English. Some Gurdwaras have also installed screens which display translations of the hymns that are sung.

There is no real dress code for a Gurdwara, only that you have to cover your head and remove your shoes. As you will be sitting cross legged on the floor short skirts are not practical.

If you want to wear something traditional a Salwar Kameez is best (A long top with loose fitting trousers). Even my wife would avoid wearing a sari at the Gurdwara because you have to sit on the floor. The advise above is best - ask a friend. Nice looking outfits can be pretty pricey because they are usually hand made - so if you can borrow one.....

About Gifts - she is your friend buy her something she would like. There has been a trend of people writing "no gifts please" or "no boxed gifts" on their invitations which usually means a gift of money would go down nicely, but even Sikhs are beginning to set up gift lists at departments stores these days!

Hope the day goes well.

D