Stuck!

MyHouse75

Haven't written here for a while, but now feel like I need some support and advise!

My personal situation: Age 38, 3 kids, husband who lost his job 3 years ago and has been unable to find any meaningful work despite endless efforts. OH now gone back into full time education as he was going crazy at home doing nothing.

My work situation: I work for a large IT company, been here for 10 years. Job pays OK, but is very stressful and target driven. I have a terrible boss who works crazy hours and expects the rest of us to do so also.

To make matters worse, last year my company relocated and I now have a 3hour daily roundtrip commuting to work. By the time I get to the end of the week I am so tired that I can barely keep my eyes open.

I started looking for other jobs 18 months ago. I have applied for several jobs and have had a number of interviews, but no luck so far:(.

Over the 18 months I have started to lose my sense of humour and feel like life is just an endless misery. I have no time to spend quality time with the kids, I am always too tired and stressed. Since my husband lost his job, we are barely surviving on my salary and are constantly arguing about finances. We can just about pay the mortgage, bills and essentials from my salary, but there is no money for anything else.

Feeling very low today, have been through several interviews for a job that would have been perfect, just to be told today that there was another candidate who got the job as he had more experience...I am gutted! I dream of the day when I can hand in my notice to my current boss, work closer to home and spend some more time with the family....

I just see this endless black tunnel ahead with no light at the end. My family and friends keep telling me I am lucky that I have a job and can support my family. So even when I try to open up to my nearest and dearest about how desperately miserable I feel, all I get thrown back at me is that I should consider myself lucky! I really feel that I have no-one to talk to!

Is there anyone else out there stuck in a job they hate, but whose family depend on their income so they have no option but to just grind and bear it? And despite trying can't seem to find another job? Would love to hear how you cope!

ironlady2022

Hi

i can only sympathise witth your situation but I know how it feels to get knocked back. If you are getting interviews, your cv must be attractive enough to get to that stage. The stumbling block may be your interview technique? Do you sell yourself enough? Have you obtained feedback from past interviews? The latter may be a good starting point.

Good luck!

MyHouse75

Thanks for your tip Mayling! I have had 4 interviews this year, and three times asked for feedback on why I wasn't successful. One company didn't get back to me with any feedback, twice I have been told that I was up against another candidate who had more relevant experience (on one occasion an internal candidate) . I need to find a way to overcome the "another candidate has more relevant experience" stumbling block.

ironlady2022

What type of job are you going for? And what skillsets are they after? Also think about your top 3 achievements in your current job? Try and quantify your success and back up with evidence. As an example I remember during my marketing days I raised money for charity and put on events and also raised awareness on social media such as Facebook and twitter. I could quantify this by saying in a set period of time I was able to increase Facebook likes 4 fold. Via the charity days I was able to raise x amount. Hope you get the jist. Talking about your successes during interviews should stand you in good stead. You can also overhaul your cv by applying this method too.

ironlady2022

Regarding other candidates having more experience. Maybe exude the fact you are a quick learner.

InsertWittyName

Agree with the above.

What's your skillset and location?

CKhalvashi

mayling03 wrote: »

Regarding other candidates having more experience. Maybe exude the fact you are a quick learner.

I don't know the OP, and therefore can't be certain whether this is the case or not in her industry, however we've taken on a number of staff now with little to no relevent experience in our industry (we're a unique company in how we operate, so I'm possibly more lenient than some), and it's usually apparent whether someone is a quick learner by the CV.

If it's not picked up on, mention it in interview, and be ready to show examples.

CK

ironlady2022

Agree with the above. Never assume anything as the person conducting the interview doesn't know you. You have to state the most obvious things sometimes.

MyHouse75

Mayling, Insertwittyname and CK- thanks for your responses, I really appreciate your advise and will take onboard what you have said:).

I have paid a lot of attention to my cover letters and my CV and obviously have got them right, since I secure interviews regularly. I need to prepare better for the interviews. Often interviews take place on short notice and I haven't always had time to do much preparation.... I work full time, have a long commute and a young family and am so knackered most of the time that I have focused most of my interview preparation on learning as much as I can about the company. I obviously need to focus more on really selling myself!

Thanks guys for helping me focus! I feel much more optimistic today. I found five jobs on Linkedin that sound promising, will be applying for them today (means another day of not spending much time with the family, but I hope it will pay off eventually...). I hope I get at least one interview and if I do, I will nail it this time !

MyHouse75

The other thing I wanted to add is that a couple of the jobs I have applied for have asked me to fill in questionnaires or send in a presentation/written assignment. I really struggle finding the time completing these, as stated before my life is pretty full on!

Looking for a job seems like a full time job in itself. People often say that it's easier to get a job if you are currently working, but if I wasn't working I could focus 100% on the job search, whereas in my current situation I only have the odd hour here and there (often late at night when I am exhausted or at the weekends when I feel guilty for using family time).

I also feel that some companies ask for everything but the kitchen sink! Often companies ask for resumes to be submitted via their own portal, in many cases after submitting cover letter and resume the companies also want you to fill in all the information again on their website which really baffles me?! One company asked for references when applying, what is the point of asking for references from all applicants when you haven't even reviewed their resumes.... I suppose it is to filter out those who really want the job from those who are just applying for everything, but it just makes life so damn hard when trying to keep one job going whilst looking for another!

There are only so many hours in a day and one needs to get a few hours of kip as well.

ironlady2022

Appreciate lots of time and effort is spent filling in forms and possibly submitting power points as you say. In which case I would be picky and choosy. Getting an interview isn't a problem so you need to concentrate on quality rather than quantity. This way you can prioritise and concentrate your efforts. Rather than applying for 5 in one day. How about apply 2 every fortnight. This will give chance for you to spend family time and also see if the 2 you applied for have given you an interview.