Estate agents and their psychological games

moneyistooshorttomention

...and a new take on estate agent language (my own estate agency that is anyway) is my viewers are either described as "nice" or not described at all.

I've learnt by now that "nice" means "ethical and won't play games with your feelings...they will tell it like it is" and no description of them at all means "I don't think they are 'nice' and they will ignore your feelings totally and want what they want regardless of you and I don't like to call them 'selfish' but guess what...".

Realisation dawned on that one when my buyer WASNT described as "nice" by my EA and sure 'nuff they are playing games with my feelings and not considering me:(.

...and then there was the would-be viewer described on the phone to me by my EA with many sort of "hmmm" expressions interspersed with the words and a shirty comment about him not having agreed a mortgage AIP yet and I was not surprised to hear that he wanted to come and view the house without my EA present - even though I would imagine he had been told that I am a woman on my own. My EA obviously agreed with my decision to tell this guy to follow the normal procedure and come with my EA and I haven't heard anything further from him. I knew my EA well enough to know that his gut feeling about the guy was he represented "trouble" for me of one description or another and he was worried I would be at risk if I let the guy in my house - awwww!!!:A Ya' see - there are some decent estate agents out there.

Dan-Dan

Money , you are FAR too emotionally tied to this selling game , you need to seperate your feelings from the business transaction you are attempting to undertake

Just an observation

sinbad182

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

...and a new take on estate agent language (my own estate agency that is anyway) is my viewers are either described as "nice" or not described at all.

I've learnt by now that "nice" means "ethical and won't play games with your feelings...they will tell it like it is" and no description of them at all means "I don't think they are 'nice' and they will ignore your feelings totally and want what they want regardless of you and I don't like to call them 'selfish' but guess what...".

Realisation dawned on that one when my buyer WASNT described as "nice" by my EA and sure 'nuff they are playing games with my feelings and not considering me:(.

...and then there was the would-be viewer described on the phone to me by my EA with many sort of "hmmm" expressions interspersed with the words and a shirty comment about him not having agreed a mortgage AIP yet and I was not surprised to hear that he wanted to come and view the house without my EA present - even though I would imagine he had been told that I am a woman on my own. My EA obviously agreed with my decision to tell this guy to follow the normal procedure and come with my EA and I haven't heard anything further from him. I knew my EA well enough to know that his gut feeling about the guy was he represented "trouble" for me of one description or another and he was worried I would be at risk if I let the guy in my house - awwww!!!:A Ya' see - there are some decent estate agents out there.

I think Money's EA should get a knighthood for dealing with this claptrap on a daily basis, in the unlikely event they manage to sell her overpriced house.

lessonlearned

Money - I am utterly astonished by your last post.

Just because a man wanted to view your property without an EA does not necessarily make him a weirdo, a rapist or a murderer.

There is absolutely no reason why a one to one viewing with a man automatically puts you at risk.

You are doing men a great disservice. If I were a man reading your post I would be jumping up and down and hurling a brick at the computer screen. You are just being so unfair and unreasonable to men in general and this man in particular.

The most likely reason for his request is that he dislikes EA's and would prefer to deal directly with the Vendor. Most people do!!!

If you feel nervous - then there is a simple remedy. You ask a friend to pop round and be present throughout the viewing. No viewer would object to this.

I had to deal with male purchasers on a one to one basis as part of my job for years. New build sales complexes can be lonely and isolated, no street lights etc. In the winter I would take a few simple precautions to ensure my safety and then get on with my job.

I was perfectly safe and happy. My only proviso was that I locked my office door and viewers had to knock to obtain access. If there were any "lurkers" looking for the main chance that would have been sufficient to deter them. If they were to pose a threat all I had to do was keep the door locked and ring the police.

As for viewers being "nice". Well we are all know the truth of the saying "never judge a book........"

It has to remembered that con-men (con-people???), charlatans and shysters make a speciality of being nice and uber charming.

Regarding viewers not respecting "your feelings":rotfl:

I agree with Dan-Dan - For your sanity's sake keep your emotions and feelings out of the equation, before you drive yourself round the bend.

It's just business - pure and simple.

It's a sales contract you are after - not a marriage contract;)

moneyistooshorttomention

A lone male viewer and lone female vendor would worry a noticeable number of women and a reasonable male viewer would realise that fact and understand why the vendor wanted him to be accompanied.

I currently live in a fairly "multicultural" area as well - and that viewer had no way of knowing whether I might have other reasons for not doing solo viewings as well. There are races and religions that wouldn't be happy about solo female vendor viewings. There are female viewers whose past experiences of men might not necessarily all be happy ones.

Apologies to all the - many I am sure - men who would think "I know I'm okay - so why wouldn't a lone woman trust me"....but many other men wouldn't take it personally and quite understand. After all......remember from the other side of that equation...Suzie Lamplugh wasn't it?

DRP

to be fair to moneyistooshorttomention, I agree that I wouldn't be particularly impressed by a viewer requesting a viewing without the EA. Take it or leave it , my EA is employed to do that job and I don't want to get involved.

For me it has nothing to do with 'risk' - my negotiation/pokerface skills are just not up to it!

DaftyDuck

If you feel nervous - then there is a simple remedy. You ask a friend to pop round and be present throughout the viewing. No viewer would object to this.

.. or get the agent to be there as well - in the back garden, in a car outside if necessary, no problem with that, and it is their job, after all.

Neither you, nor your agent can possibly hope to "read" prospective buyers well enough for a tenth of the feelings you have on them. So, shirty comments about not having AIP in place, "nice" buyers, all that psychobabble... nonsense to base much on that...I've given all sorts of mis-information to agents to get what I want, when I want it (sorry LL, doubt you were one). I've been short on cash, wealthy, dependent on my wife's view on the house (she loves it.. I hate it, but wifey-wifey must be pleased... I love it, but the wife holds the purse strings, and it's too large... all sorts..).

I have, however, always ended up on excellent terms with the vendors (and keep in contact with some, even going to visit some on occasion). However, in the actual buying process, of course I'm not going to consider your feelings, no more than those of a car salesman... less, if you consider the sums involved.

I have always got the properties at a reduced price, I have never - ever - paid anything close to ap on any property I bought, even in Cambridge six years ago, with as lively a market as you can get.
This is a transaction. I'm not commenting on how you decorated your house, your living standards, far less asking you on a date. I either do or do not want the bricks and mortar.

I have sold properties to the most unlikely people, some of who I'd written off on viewing (I commented elsewhere on the mad backwards-walking lady who bought one of my houses). I haven't tried to analyse their motives, wealth, personality, or anything like that. So long as they plonk dosh in my bank, I love them all equally.

Also, searching for the one "perfect buyer", which you think you may have now... well done, by the way... does not leave you with a fall-back and some leverage should he stop being so "nice" at exchange, and offer a reduced price, nor does it allow you to have two interested parties at this stage, pushing the price upwards towards or beyond your asking price.

You have spent months on your sale. Even if you get close to the a.p. on yours (and that's looking increasingly unlikely as time passes), with rising prices (and they are - even in your "nice" area), you've lost out on that price increase, and also on the increase in whatever property you go on to buy. You'd do well to listen to the wealth of experience offered above and elsewhere by LL in particular, and modify your outlook (and manners towards potential purchasers).

Your turned-down viewing may well mean a lost sale. It's not "reasonable" to expect him to follow your slightly alarmist thought patterns - he's not a mind-reader, and probably doesn't know that you are single! Given you've not sold yet, that strikes me as a loss too far. The viewer did not say he wanted to be alone with a lone female... you could have had "partner" there just as well - and borrow one form a friend!

lessonlearned

Suzie was an EA not a Vendor,

She had arranged to meet a "Mr Kipper" - er excuse me???? Alarm bells.....

Her office had no contact details for Mr K.

This would never happen now.

Why do you think EA's insist on contact details, full name and address and phone number. Although to be honest I am surprised that they accept mobile phone nos and don't press for landlines.

EA's on viewings now give their itineries to the office and check in periodically. No check in would set the wheels in motion for the office to initiate contact. No contact and police would be informed immediately.

A Vendor is perfectly able to ensure their own safety in their own home......

DaftyDuck

DRP wrote: »

to be fair to moneyistooshorttomention, I agree that I wouldn't be particularly impressed by a viewer requesting a viewing without the EA. Take it or leave it , my EA is employed to do that job and I don't want to get involved.

For me it has nothing to do with 'risk' - my negotiation/pokerface skills are just not up to it!

I often ask for viewings by the owner, rather than agent (quite happy if agent wants to tag along in the background). Not always, but I'm generally interested in older, larger properties, and the agents know little of the history and interesting points of the houses, and are often even unable to find the light switches! I'd certainly want a second viewing to have the owner present. Indeed, I might choose not to pursue a house if owner didn't want to be there, as I'd like to see them first-hand at some point.

kelpie35

Money, how long have you been trying to sell?

With your kind of attitude I think you will have great difficulty in selling your property, just an observation though.