Parents say the oddest things.

Saturnalia

"Do you think I am talking out of a hole in my head?"

Never, ever, ever answer with yes. They are parents. They aren't supposed to make sense.

Heffi1

A variation of one was if we asked where mum was - she has run off with a black man in a grass skirt - completely baffled us for years, no idea why a grass skirt was mentioned. Also we never saw any black people growing up either so it was funny to think of at the time.

Loulou2010

Instead of Blackpool illuminations we were battersea power station.

Were you born in a barn - left door open

Give you what for if you don't.... (behave, shut up....)

Cut a long story short - that was my nans and she give never did cut it short lol

As much use as a chocolate teapot

Like a fart in a collander

Emmylou_2

Frugalista wrote: »

When we would ask what was for tea, we would be told "!!!!!! with hairs on!" :o:o.

We would have (on the nth time of asking) !!!!!! with sugar on.

I sometimes offer this to hubby. He's never taken me up on it. However, he knows on the occasions it comes out first time that HE'S in charge of cooking...

meames_2

Emmylou wrote: »

We would have (on the nth time of asking) !!!!!! with sugar ...

Me too!

Also, I keep saying stuff relating to Soft Mick, who ever he might be, "are you staying out in the rain like soft mick?".

notechno

Oh dear, we were quite racist back in the day, weren't we? Although nobody saw it like that at the time

We used to get 'Do you think I've just stepped off the banana boat?' if they thought we were trying to kid them

jellyhead

We wouldn't dream of saying such things nowadays. My nan wasn't racist, although I know people in their 90's who are and I suppose racism was more common when she was growing up. It never seemed to occur to her that some of the phrases were rude/offensive

madget_2

Just remembered that my gran taught me as a young child to say, "Go to hell and feed your ducks".

She thought it was hilarious - until the day she took me for a walk into the village and I said it to our local vicar. Served her right!

zaksmum

I don't think they were remotely racist. Ignorant maybe.

When we were very young in the 50s we used to collect silver paper at school "for the black babies in Africa" who had no chance of getting to Heaven because they weren't Catholics...what difference the silver paper was supposed to make, I had no idea.

And the school used to send envelopes home with us for our parents to fill with coins - they had to mark an X in each box on the back of the envelope for every coin they put in the envelope.

My mother would put halfpennies in so the boxes were ticked at minimal cost and when you sent in an envelope with all the boxes ticked, you got to choose an English name for a "heathen black baby" in Africa to boost it's chances of getting to Heaven as an African name would doom the poor kid altogether!

Sad thing was, as kids we really did believe all that codswallop.

embob74

Along with others already mentioned we used to get told:
"If wit were !!!!!! you'd be rolling in it"

and if we burped and said pardon me we were told:
"you don't pardon pigs you shoot them" and if we happened to use that saying we were then told:
"you don't give monkeys guns"