Religious Nutters At The Door - What Do You Do?

blunther

Keen_Young_Learner wrote: »

For us on the receiving end, it is absolutely unacceptable to do anything less than smile and apologise

Why on Earth would I need to apologise because someone has disturbed my peace in order to convert me to a cult...?

securityguy

Keen_Young_Learner wrote: »

For us on the receiving end, it is absolutely unacceptable to do anything less than smile and apologise,

Why should I apologise to someone who's knocked on my door, with the intent of telling me why I am living my life wrong? They should be apologising to me, not the other way around.

joedi

securityguy wrote: »

Like all doorstep salesmen, they're relying on our British politeness meaning that we won't just shut the door in their face while they're talking. Shut the door in their face while they're talking.

The ones that I really despise are the ones that haul their tired, often distressed children around with them, presumably in the hope that people will be more amenable to persuasion. They're the equivalent of beggar gangs using children to pluck at the heartstrings, and they show how smug sanctimony doesn't stop people from being bad parents.

From birth, I was one of those children. It was a miserable experience. It was boring, and embarrassing, and as soon as you were old enough you had to learn your piece and say it to which ever annoyed or hostile person opens the door.
Parents were told to take their children door knocking, they had no choice. It wasn't for sympathy from the householder (never got shown any anyway!) It was just a rule the parents had to follow, they were not allowed to argue, this was labeled "a rebellious attitude", which you would be reprimanded for. Parents were expected to raise the next generation of door knockers!
As a kid it was hard, especially when we had to go on Christmas day. We didn't celebrate it, and knocking on the doors of those happy homes, when you were nothing but a contemptible nuisance was a painful experience.
You could sometimes see the decorations and gifts, and it made it harder to go home to nothing.
All the time you were told to be grateful for being gods chosen ones. I just felt sad, and wanted to be normal.
As a youngster I used to try and communicate with my eyes that I didn't WANT to be knocking at their door and that I was sorry to be bothering them, of course it never worked.
We were told the end of the world would be soon, and if we didn't knock and tell people we would be responsible for their death.
This just added to my confusion, I felt so guilty that I hated door knocking, I felt like I must be a terrible person for not wanting to save these peoples lives.
I have been shoved, spat on, swore at, and once had water thrown on me. I used to pay for rain, so we wouldn't have to go out, and once out I would pray for nobody to answer the door.
On occasion a classmate would answer, and I dreaded this most of all, as I knew I would be teased unrelentingly the next school day.
This was my experience all through childhood, and as a young adult my mindset was very indoctrinated, and very depressed.
Thankfully I am now 15 years away from those times, but the feelings are clear as yesterday.
Sadly though neither my mother or any friends will have anything to do with me because I left, I am dead to them.
Please, if a Jehovah's witness knocks, try to turn them away with kindness, or at least with politeness. As you go back into your happy home, many of them will trudge on in their cult mindset, trapped, unhappy but not knowing how to escape.
Jo
X

securityguy

"Parents were told to take their children door knocking, they had no choice. "

They had every choice. They just chose to put their hobby ahead of the best interests of their children, for fear of being thrown out of the hobby club. It's not the fault of the club, because people are entirely free to leave it. Your parents had moral agency. They just loved their hobby more than they loved you.

Manchee

securityguy wrote: »

"Parents were told to take their children door knocking, they had no choice. "

They had every choice. They just chose to put their hobby ahead of the best interests of their children, for fear of being thrown out of the hobby club. It's not the fault of the club, because people are entirely free to leave it. Your parents had moral agency. They just loved their hobby more than they loved you.

Hey! Thats outta line man. Seriously. Its not up to you to judge his/her parents, especially so harshly. Whatever you wanna call JW, a religion, a cult, whatever, you can't just classify it as a hobby. When people become so caught up in something like that its not a hobby. And to say that they loved JW more than their own child is jumping to assumptions. Maybe they felt they had to be a part of it, as a way of protecting their child, because they loved their child so much.

Edit to add:

Person_one wrote: »

If I knocked on your door clutching a box set of Star Trek DVDs and tried to turn you into a trekkie, you'd think I was a lunatic and you would be irritated at my intrusion into your life and home.

Lol I would invite you in to debate the merits of TNG vs OS and to discuss which, out of all the series', is the ultimate captain!!

Naf

Nine times out of ten they're nutters from the church I attend, so I invite them in. Otherwise I'm polite, but it can become a theological argument if they don't leave.

lilymay1

Kayalana99 wrote: »

I've never had any because of my No Cold caller sticker...I also have a no junk mail sticker which used to work but now the postman is delivering leaflets he ignores it!!

Suprized no one has complained to Royal mail as its such a waste of paper all ends up in the blue bag!!

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/271199554207?ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1586.l2649

Just so you know, the postman could loose his job for not delivering junk mail, addressed or not, so forgive him for ignoring your sign.

Lagoon

Manchee wrote: »

Hey! Thats outta line man. Seriously. Its not up to you to judge his/her parents, especially so harshly. Whatever you wanna call JW, a religion, a cult, whatever, you can't just classify it as a hobby. When people become so caught up in something like that its not a hobby. And to say that they loved JW more than their own child is jumping to assumptions. Maybe they felt they had to be a part of it, as a way of protecting their child, because they loved their child so much.

I agree. What we have to remember is that these people really believe in what they're saying, as much as we believe that cats exist or that there are other planets.

joedi

securityguy wrote: »

"Parents were told to take their children door knocking, they had no choice. "

They had every choice. They just chose to put their hobby ahead of the best interests of their children, for fear of being thrown out of the hobby club. It's not the fault of the club, because people are entirely free to leave it. Your parents had moral agency. They just loved their hobby more than they loved you.

I see what you are saying. Perhaps I should have said that they FELT they had no choice.
Cult mindset is something very difficult to understand unless you have experienced it. Adult JW's totally believe their religion is the only true one, and that their leaders speak for God. If your leaders tell you that it is nessessary to take your children preaching, and that not to do so would be condemming your children, it is the same to you as if God was telling you and you do it.
No member of a cult, no matter how mad their beliefs look from the outside, view it as a hobby, it is deadly serious to them.
As to being free to leave, technically yes... In reality it never works out like that. If a cult teaches they are the only way to God, then leaving is akin to rejecting god, for the cult member. Often your only opinion are the ones the cult gave you, and working out what you actually believe for your self is a long and challenging process. Also, your family and friends will be instructed to shun you as one who has chosen evil (at least in the JWs) it is not easy to lose all your family and friends.
As to my parents loving their hobby more than they loved me. You are correct, they did, but for you to say it so bluntly, I felt was rather unkind and unessessary
Jo
X

Person_one

securityguy wrote: »

"Parents were told to take their children door knocking, they had no choice. "

They had every choice. They just chose to put their hobby ahead of the best interests of their children, for fear of being thrown out of the hobby club. It's not the fault of the club, because people are entirely free to leave it. Your parents had moral agency. They just loved their hobby more than they loved you.

Its not that easy. The parents dragging the child round were probably dragged round themselves. Leaving can mean cutting ties with your entire family and social circle, as cults like to isolate their members to keep them in. There's also the fact that its not as simple as it sounds to just 'see the light' and accept fully that you aren't damning your innocent child to an eternity in hell by turning your back.