Legal Aid/Parental Issues Help Needed ASAP

headgirl49

Hi guys and fellow girls x x x
I joined moneysavingexpert as my boyfriend told me about the site and it's meant to be very good. My current situation is that a few years ago i broke up with my kids dad because he use to hit me and cheated on me. The guy i'm with now, my current bf is amazing and treats the kids like his own and my kids love him.
They still their real dad, but he's (1) never given me child maintaince despite working and I can't do anything with CSA because he is fiddling it and i know it. I did report him for this but heard nothing..(2) he's currently been disputing with me about allowing our children to be put into the school I want. He's gone so much out of his way about this that for no valid reason he's saying he doesn't want them there.
(3)he told me him and his partner 2 months ago were moving to lancashire so the arrangement would be that he would pick them up even though we live a hour and a half away...
(4) He's been collecting the kids..but before moving would expect me to pick them up because 'everyone is' drunk at his house inc himself. Which left the liability on me. Whenever i question why he has to drink on the only days he has the kids it turns into an argument. So much so I just said he won't see the kids, so he took me to a solicitor. I also got a solicitor who wrote back, but was helping me get legal aid too. As i had problems getting legal aid I didn't get it in time for the cut off..but his solicitor told me in mediation there was o more issues anyway..I thought the matter was thus sorted. But I asked my solicitor for legal aid anyway, he told me at the time as mediation and the matter is sorted theres no grounds for legal aid so I couldn't claim...the issue now arises that as he's moved to manchester he's still claiming he doesnt want the children in the school I want (despite telling me to my face it's fine) and more importantly..he's now asking me to meet him halfway..and yesterday told me his car had broke down so i needed to do the 1 hour 30 min drive. The week before he had already asked if I would go up there and I told him i couldnt afford it as i'm supporting all 3 of the kids financially. I suggested he get a train or bus, the train was £60 for 3 of them. Strangely he fixed his car the next day when I refused to go. But now i am fed up of him and i wanted to know..is there any grounds for me to get legal aid or a solicitor??

pmlindyloo

What is it that you want to achieve?

I know you are 'fed up' with him (!) but what do you want a solicitor to do for you?

Perhaps if you are clear about what you want to achieve then we could possibly help more. Otherwise it is just a case of communicating with him and agreeing to possible solutions.

Does your ex have Parental Responsibility? If he does then he has a right to make decisions with you about the children's schooling. Is he just having a moan about this or does he intend to go to court about it?

As regards legal aid and solicitors. Some solicitors have lost their 'contract' to provide legal aid for Family law but there are solicitors who still do it. You would need to ring round the local solicitors to find out who still has a contract, but before you do that you need to be clear about what you are going to ask the solicitor to do.

headgirl49

hi i know what I want. I want to (1) bring up the issue of him constantly getting drunk around the kids (2) a written agreement about him seeing the kids and having responsbility to bring them their and back. I get no financial support from him and he apparently 'works' now (yet according to CSA he is on benefits on their system)...so I am a single mum (as i live alone not with my partner) with 3 kids..I cannot afford fees of a solicitor..so I wanted to know if I could get legal aid on this grounds..or what my rights were more over?

bigboybrother

headgirl49 wrote: »

They still see their real dad, but he's never given me child maintaince despite working and I can't do anything with CSA because he is fiddling it and i know it. I did report him for this but heard nothing

As a father of two grown up daughters and a grandfather of four, I am saddened that there are fathers about that intentionally make life difficult for the kids.

If you were my daughter I would tell your ex that until he starts to make reasonable maintenance for the children, AND that he curtails not only his drinking habit and allowing the children to come into contact with other drunken individuals when he has them you will refuse him access unless it is through a 'contact centre' once a week.

It is about time he sorted out his life and took responsibility for his offspring both emotionally and financially. No doubt you are very worried about his alcohol addiction which could so easilly result in him putting your children in a dangerous situation especially when others around him are also permanently as drunk as a skunk!

Of course he will react to your demands, but you are only doing it because of your concern for your children's welfare and upbringing. You are the one that is holding the 'ace card' it's up to him to demonstrate that he can be the father that the children deserve.

Of course he might get a solicitor involved but as long as you can show that your only concern is for the children, and you can demonstrate his inability to be a proper caring dad, there isn't a lot that he can do about it. You are not refusing him access, just making it as difficult for him as possible hoping that the idiot can see the error of his way.

headgirl49

Hi thank you for your support and I'm glad my bf told me about this site.

Firstly- my issue with the schooling is that (1) he's saying to my face he has no issue with where the kids are now..but to the school he's saying he wants them in school in lancashire. This means that any appeal I make they deny on the basis it has to come from both parents. He told me last week he will refute this and it's all sorted. Then today I get an email saying he's rang in this morning to say he is not refuting anything and the kids must got to a lancashire school. I live 1 hour and 30 mins away and have the kids 80% of the time, as a mum who has to financially support the kids in every way- school, trips, clothes, food, money, christmas etc i cannot afford the travel there and back - its an unreasonable request.
It was his choice to move.

Secondly, I did stop him seeing the kids thus why I had to go to mediation.
However now it's getting worse and worse as he demands i also pick the kids up after his visit from lancashire every weekend which is going to cost me more money and was not what we agreed. I knew his intentions were to do this and that its not really his car braking down because every week he asks me..can you meet me in stockport..can you meet me in manchester..till it gets to can you come up here and just get them?

Bossyboots

pmlindyloo wrote: »

As regards legal aid and solicitors. Some solicitors have lost their 'contract' to provide legal aid for Family law but there are solicitors who still do it. You would need to ring round the local solicitors to find out who still has a contract, but before you do that you need to be clear about what you are going to ask the solicitor to do.

Unfortunately it is not as simple as this. Although new contracts started in April, most family legal aid has been totally removed from the scope covered except in very narrow circumstances, none of which have been described here.

headgirl49

^^This is what I heard and worried about. Therefore i don't know what I can do now??

lighting_up_the_chalice

Contact the Womens Aid Network (or similar) in your area. They are primarily concerned with Domestic Violence, but their remit is broad and they can, at the very least, advise you on what you can, and cannot, legally enforce. They may also be able to sign-post you to other organisations who may assist.

ComeTheRevolution

headgirl49 wrote: »

hi i know what I want. I want to (1) bring up the issue of him constantly getting drunk around the kids (2) a written agreement about him seeing the kids and having responsbility to bring them their and back. I get no financial support from him and he apparently 'works' now (yet according to CSA he is on benefits on their system)...so I am a single mum (as i live alone not with my partner) with 3 kids..I cannot afford fees of a solicitor..so I wanted to know if I could get legal aid on this grounds..or what my rights were more over?

I think you're looking at it the wrong way round. You are the parent with residency therefore you can arrange the children's lives as you see fit. If he wants to disagree about their education and have a contact order drawn up regarding when and how he sees them then HE needs to arrange legal aid. Just get on with your family life and if he slots himself in at any point without disruption fair dos, in the meantime ignore him.

Ellejmorgan

I wouldn't let the children near him while he's drinking, certainly they deserve to have a bad influence, I had to make the same decisions and decided that no father would be a better influence than constant destructive behaviour..

My ex is fully employed and is currently paying £ 21 per month via the csa, when they ask for wage slips he reduces his hours...Our children are 8 and 16 months..

My girls are thriving and are happy, if I thought there was potential for him to be a father I'd happily support him with them but there isn't, he deliberately hurt the eldest just after the baby's birth and threatened to remove the baby from my care which he already had the eldest..

Can I suggest to you the freedom programme which is an amazing programme run by Pat craven which supports survivors and enables us to find strength to move on..We have a Facebook group which is completely secure...Many of us have issues with after the relationship and this could be of a great help to you..

mum2one

Getting Legal Aid now is going to be like a needle in a haystack - unless certain criteria has been met.

Sorry if you think i am being nosey, last thing i mean.

- I'm guessing that your ex has parental responsibility? - Thinking about the school issues
-As for the CSA - as far as I am concerned I have more chance of getting to a size 10 overnight (I'm well built) they can only go on the info from the father - of you have proof he is working back handers this can be reported - eventually they may investage - have you spoke to tax office re your concerns,

My thoughts and major concerns are this drinking aspect of him having the kids, if this was the case when he was local is it still happening now he has moved.

Do you have any proof to this (not disputing you) trying to go from my experiences.

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is the arrangement set in stone, - was this done after mediciation?

Is there a review date or are you expected to work together.

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Family courts are suppose to be more parent friendly in terms of direction and hearing due to legal aid

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I would ring round some solicitors and ask if they do a free half hour introductory interview - (if yes) have your answers on paper ready and any evidence that you have to the "incidents"

It may be worth explaining that you have been through mediation and its obvious that the relationship has broken down

How old are the children?

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I would look at Gingerbread website, and the others that have been suggested.

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for me I walked out on my ex when I was 7 mths gone, - my daughters now 10 - when she was 8 he remembered he was a dad (no money, never seen her) we spent nearly 18mths fighting through court - they give him indirect access - he's now his daughter - I'm picking up the pieces. I can fully understand that your children are the most important thing is this.

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Sorry if I have jumped from one way to another, my brain goes faster than I can type.

If I can help send me a private message xx