Feeling out of sorts - love/work

redrose9

Bf and I had huge fight and he walked out. He said I was selfish but truth is I've been feeling very down about work but given his health issues he feels its been all about me despite me telling I'm otherwise. I thought he left to head to his folks but texted me to say he was sat somewhere, this was him responding to my text. When I got his text I was heading elsewhere but then made my way to the place for us to both talk. By the time I nearly reached the place it was raining, he isn't know I was coming but I had texted earlier to say if I should come to the meeting point to chat but he didn't say anything.

Anyway, I went to place but was raing, it was near train station and I saw him on platform, thought hevwasvtaking shelter from rain and I went to platform but turns out he was going on train andvasked why I was there i told him so we could talk but then he said had I got there 2mins earlier he wouldn't have touched his travel card on the readers then he said to take care and that was it. I walked home and feel quite numb. We may be ok but honestly I cannot help but feel irritated that he just didn't stay when he saw me at platform.

Since them he text me asking why I went there and I said it didn't matter as he went of which he said I was right.

I've got a lot of crap with work going on as I'm very unhappy in my job and looking internally in company plus didn't get job I went for internally this week so have been on edge as relationship between me and boss isn't very good. He is as keen to move me internally as I am to move. Plus I feel very anxious and stressed being there. I know you're thinking I should look outside but it's better security trying here plus good benefits.

I feel bad t moment as everything seems like crumbling around me.

Dovah_diva

I'm sorry you are clearly feeling low, but to be honest I struggled to understand your post. One thing I did get though, was that it appears your boyfriend needs some space.

Patchwork_Girl

redrose9 wrote: »

I've got a lot of crap with work going on as I'm very unhappy in my job and looking internally in company plus didn't get job I went for internally this week so have been on edge as relationship between me and boss isn't very good. He is as keen to move me internally as I am to move. Plus I feel very anxious and stressed being there. I know you're thinking I should look outside but it's better security trying here plus good benefits.

If you really are unhappy at work and not currently able to move internally, for whatever reason then surely looking elsewhere can't hurt? I know it might feel scary to leave a secure job/good benefits etc. but you don't have to commit to anything now. Just take the power back from your boss by taking control. No job is worth being unhappy in the long term. Freshen up your CV and take a look around - if nothing else it will help to know you have options and you can actively choose to stay (or not) once you know what your other options are.

Good luck!

System

It sounds like an unhappy work life is spilling out into your home life. Try to leave work at work, no job is worth risking your health for.

redrose9

Thing is I'm hoping for job change from being administrator to non-admin and by doing it internally would be easier than outside. I don't enjoy current job anymore and manager suggested try doing something else within company. I did have interview last week but unfortunately someone beat me to post but the hiring manager met with me second time to say he was impressed with my interview and it gave him thought to potentially restructure his org so hopefully in few months I could get opportunity. My current manager gave the guy a good ref but both my manager and I are very keen for me to move on and I have noticed a change in him. When I told him earlier in week that I had interview manager asked how I felt about job and I said wasn't sure then he said I should take it if its offered to me, of which I took quite negatively as to me a sign he wants rid but truth is I do too. Just need to be consistent as feeling down with work environment. I really hope that job comes soon. It would mean a lot to move on into this position as I've been unhappy in job for very long time, just been so scared to say something to manager until I finally broke down.

meritaten

my son is really unhappy in his job at the mo - he got Tupe'd over to another company and hates it there. his poor partner gets the brunt of it and although she is very supportive I know she is having second thoughts about the wedding next month. Her job is just as horrible as his - she is looking for something else - but, she also feels he thinks his woes are more important!
Perhaps your partner feels the same way - you may not realise just how hard you are to live with right now? Be honest, do you go home and moan ALL evening about your job? does this carry over onto the weekends? do you then relax and do fun things with your partner? at least you have a change of job in your sights - some people are stuck with thiers.

FBaby

but given his health issues

What are his health issues? Are they serious?

Dunroamin

How old are you both?

Pollycat

What came across to me in your first post was that - in the midst/aftermath of a massive argument - you seemed to text each other rather than speaking on the phone which, from what you say, caused some confusion.

This may be because it's cheaper to text but I wonder if not saying what you mean is a common problem within your relationship.

How long have you been together?

thunderbird

redrose9 wrote: »

Thing is I'm hoping for job change from being administrator to non-admin and by doing it internally would be easier than outside. I don't enjoy current job anymore and manager suggested try doing something else within company. I did have interview last week but unfortunately someone beat me to post but the hiring manager met with me second time to say he was impressed with my interview and it gave him thought to potentially restructure his org so hopefully in few months I could get opportunity. My current manager gave the guy a good ref but both my manager and I are very keen for me to move on and I have noticed a change in him. When I told him earlier in week that I had interview manager asked how I felt about job and I said wasn't sure then he said I should take it if its offered to me, of which I took quite negatively as to me a sign he wants rid but truth is I do too. Just need to be consistent as feeling down with work environment. I really hope that job comes soon. It would mean a lot to move on into this position as I've been unhappy in job for very long time, just been so scared to say something to manager until I finally broke down.

The way I read that was as a really positive and exciting time for you - look at the parts in bold. Both your manager and the hiring manager think you would be great in a different role and they are even considering restructuring to fit you in!
Sounds like you aren't enjoying what you are doing at the moment, but don't be disheartened.

With the boyfriend tiff, just give him time to calm down and then have a proper conversation - no texting. If he feels that you have been acting selfish, then take his feelings on board and try and see if from his viewpoint you could have been perceived like that.

podperson

I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way but it sounds like you're so down about your job at the moment that you're taking everything in a negative light. Your manager obviously thinks you have potential as when you told him you were unhappy then instead of suggesting you leave he wants you to stay in the current company, has given you a good reference and is trying to help you find a new role - I would take that as a very positive thing not a negative one. The hiring manager was so impressed with you he's thinking about restruturing just to find you a role - that's great!

With your partner I think communication seems to be falling down here. You had a fight and instead of talking about it he left in a huff, you were both texting each other instead of speaking, you go out to meet him but neither of you can say you want to sort things out so he gets on a train and you go home upset.

Obviously we don't know want his health problems are so it's hard to comment - if he has something serious and is worried about that at the moment then he may find it hard to relate to perhaps what he sees as 'lesser' problems with you not liking your job. On the other hand my OH has had long term health issues and I would sometimes feel frustrated that the focus always seemed to be on these and if I had a problem I had to almost 'suck it up' and manage as it wasn't seen as as important. Maybe sit down with him and explain that you are trying to support him (which I'm sure you are!) but that you're struggling at the moment as well and need a bit of support in return.