Ahhhh I want a new car!!!

jonesMUFCforever

freddiejf

He can't. He has already been declined. His girlfriend (very sensible IMO) won't let him sign a charge over their house.

Read what OP has to say - he's run up £15k worth of debt and he doesn't know how - is that what you mean by properly managed?

Coveredinbees!!!!

£100000 home equity why not re mortgage pay off the credit cards buy a flashy car (if you really want) then start again from nil (well not really but you know)

nobblyned

Bank says it's a bad idea, girlfriend says it's a bad idea, MSE board says it's a bad idea.

Face it, it's a bad idea.

freddiejf

EVERYONE:

In the past I have been in debt so I know what it's like, and can have compassion for others in that situation, so much so that at the moment I spent lots of time (I dont have much spare to start off with) helping people reclaim bank charges as it's the only way they will get a little windfall. Currently writing letters and co-ordinating things for about 12 people at the moment.

The point I am making, and it's just something that bugs me is people often ask for advice about something and they get, say a dozen replies, yet 11 of them will be people judging them over something, preaching to them about the dangers of debt or getting a loan (properly mangaged loans/debt ok), yet very few actually answer the question the person has raised. Why cant people just answer the question?
That's all I am trying to say! If he asked whether or not other people thought it was a good idea to get a loan, then THAT would be the green light for you to give your opinion. For example I once asked where am I best looking to get a 21k loan for a car and most replies were people saying you can get reliable cars for under £2,500!!! They never answered my question!! (by the way I drive 50,000 miles a year in my job).
Never ment to cause any offense or make people think I didnt care - that's just not true.

Hope that clears up a few things.
Freddie

CHR15

I think accusing people of preaching is perhaps too strong a term.

Reading the OP message again (I only use the OP as an example).....

If in Six Months the OP was posting in the DFW board saying he is £30K in debt and couldn't get out of it. I am sure all those people who could foresee it, but helped and assisted him in getting so far in debt, They (as I would) feel slightly at fault, guilty even for not trying to talk him out of it.

If someone wants to jump off a bridge, we talk them out of it, even if he WANT'S to jump.
Offering to hold his coat or telling him which bridge to jump off, may help in in his quest but isn't exactly the right thing to do.

People are only trying to help, I don't think it is a case of adopting some kind of moral high ground.

No offence intended

nobblyned

freddiejf wrote: »

EVERYONE:

In the past I have been in debt so I know what it's like, and can have compassion for others in that situation, so much so that at the moment I spent lots of time (I dont have much spare to start off with) helping people reclaim bank charges as it's the only way they will get a little windfall. Currently writing letters and co-ordinating things for about 12 people at the moment.

The point I am making, and it's just something that bugs me is people often ask for advice about something and they get, say a dozen replies, yet 11 of them will be people judging them over something, preaching to them about the dangers of debt or getting a loan (properly mangaged loans/debt ok), yet very few actually answer the question the person has raised. Why cant people just answer the question?
That's all I am trying to say! If he asked whether or not other people thought it was a good idea to get a loan, then THAT would be the green light for you to give your opinion. For example I once asked where am I best looking to get a 21k loan for a car and most replies were people saying you can get reliable cars for under £2,500!!! They never answered my question!! (by the way I drive 50,000 miles a year in my job).
Never ment to cause any offense or make people think I didnt care - that's just not true.

Hope that clears up a few things.
Freddie

Point taken Freddie. I agree that when you asked how to borrow £21k, the answers should have been directed towards that. However this is a money saving board and i guess people were just trying to help.

As for the OP, well they provided plenty of info to indicate that their current debt wasn't well managed (in fact they don't even know how they managed to run it up!), so I think people are well meaning when they try to point out that maybe this isn't the best thing in the world for them.

PJD

Where is the OP?

And what is the car in question out of interest!?

save-a-lot

freddiejf wrote: »

EVERYONE:

In the past I have been in debt so I know what it's like, and can have compassion for others in that situation, so much so that at the moment I spent lots of time (I dont have much spare to start off with) helping people reclaim bank charges as it's the only way they will get a little windfall. Currently writing letters and co-ordinating things for about 12 people at the moment.

The point I am making, and it's just something that bugs me is people often ask for advice about something and they get, say a dozen replies, yet 11 of them will be people judging them over something, preaching to them about the dangers of debt or getting a loan (properly mangaged loans/debt ok), yet very few actually answer the question the person has raised. Why cant people just answer the question?
That's all I am trying to say! If he asked whether or not other people thought it was a good idea to get a loan, then THAT would be the green light for you to give your opinion. For example I once asked where am I best looking to get a 21k loan for a car and most replies were people saying you can get reliable cars for under £2,500!!! They never answered my question!! (by the way I drive 50,000 miles a year in my job).
Never ment to cause any offense or make people think I didnt care - that's just not true.

Hope that clears up a few things.
Freddie

The clue is that this is a discussion forum and as such will generate discussion on a topic --- it is not a question and answers service.

Reading the thread, I can see that all (well most) replies are valid and on topic. I hardly think people are judging the OP, they are merely offering advice based on what the OP had said originally. If nothing else the responses will challenge the mind of the OP and could help him in his decision making process.

The OP has not returned, so this could have been started as a spoof thread anyway, so it may not be worth replying in any detail until the OP returns and posts back here

Hermione54

I just think people are desperate to try and stop others making the same mistakes that they made. I don't think the answers are meant to be 'preachy'.

save-a-lot

Looks like the OP is not coming back