Recent death making youngest clingy

pipkin71

Hi guys.

Several weeks ago, my friend's partner died - it was very sudden and totally unexpected. My dd's are old enough now to know about death - 8 and 10 - and, although they didn't go to the funeral, they knew what was happening etc.

Anyway, dd2 has become very clingy and today they were supposed to be staying overnight at my mom and dad's, but she wouldn't go. She's scared something may happen to me if she's not around, and although I've tried explaining that this isn't likely to happen she isn't convinced.

Any suggestions on how I tackle this would be appreciated.

Regards
Pipkin xxx

lynzpower

Aww - poor lamb.

Maybe one thing you could do is make sure you phone her at your mums before her bed time adn first thing in the mornuing when she wakes ?

another thing is to look at what books there are for her age group top help her think through death, what it means and so forth. its been a while since I used any so my mind is blank, but there are some really good ones around.

pipkin71

Hi lynzpower.

Thanks - she hasn't gone, as she was too upset. I cancelled my first night out in ages, instead. I'm trying not to be resentful as I know she is genuinely upset, but that's one of those things I guess. DD2's feelings come first.

I will look on amazon for some books though. The last time she had any experience of death, she was only one, so cant remember. The fact that one of my friend's daughters is in dd2's class - so dd has witnessed how upset the child is - hasn't helped.

Savvy_Sue

the library might have useful books too (and quicker to get than ordering from Amazon).

You may just have to give it time. People do die, and sometimes unexpectedly, as she's seen, but you can also point out all the times she hasn't been with you and everything's been fine when she came back.

May also be worth talking to the class teacher so she is aware of your DD's anxieties, as well as her friend's obvious distress.