Need kick up bottom

moneymaniac_2

Hi all,

I feel pretty ashamed of myself as i should be dealing with my debts but i really am not.

I have no difficulty paying my repayments every month and have money left over every month but i really struggle to save it or pay more off with it.

I probably sound very pathetic but i just dont have the motivation to do it at the moment as it seems like a life time until they all go and therefore depresses me and the cycle begins again......

I spent what i have left on the usual....clothes, going out, food.....i try to budget and then fall at pretty much the first hurdle.

some motivational tips would be fantastic. Do i need to set realistoc goals for myself or do i need to ask myself why i find it hard to deal with my debts?? i guess the answer is both.

My OH and i want to buy a house but not until we pay off some debts, we have been lucky enough to move to my aprents for a short time to save but even this isnt helping.....

Gosh, i really am ranting on......i guess i just need a kick up the bottom.

Come on give me a kick ...you DFW's really are an inspiration-how do you do it??

Dithering_Dad

HI MM, welcome to the boards. I was the same as you, I had quite a bit of debt but because it was a bit here and a bit there, spread over Student Loans, credit cards and a DFS sofa loan it didn't seem that bad. That is until I joined here, typed it all into my MSE signature and realised just how much it all added up to!! :eek:

As the money was dotted about, a thousand here, a thousand there it didn't seem that large and because I could easily meet the payments I didn't really worry. Then I began to wonder what would happen if I lost my job or became ill and couldn't meet the payments. That was a reall wakeup call!

I quickly changed the way I viewed my finances and took a more active role in everything (except my pension, managing that is still a bit of a dark art as far as I'm concerned!). I started up a company to bring more cash in and have never been so well off! All because I happened across this great website!

Good luck with your mission to become debt free - you don't have to have the bailiffs knocking on the door before you get your "lightbulb moment"

Crown

Ok Considered yourself well and truelly kicked! You need to get organised. Once the debt is gone you can laze about as much as you want.

a few motivational tips.

1) Write down your debt and stick it somewhere you will see it daily without fail.
This will remind you that this amount is holding you back.

2) Leave all cards at home. If you do not have them its harder to either spend on them or draw out any money. If you do need somnething then uou will have to go home and collect the card to get your money.

3) Before actually spending a penny go through the Debt Free Wannabe Mantra of "Do I really need this, Can I really afford afford this, and If I do can I get it cheaper somewhere else"

4) Add your Debt to your signature on here and start a debt diary thread on here. make sure you update EVERY day and join in the "how much have you spent today" threads.

5)Also on the same note join in some of the challenges. Get more involved with the other DFW members.

6) Another fantastic tip that someone posted earlier in the week was everytime you save £1 or anything in a day then log onto your internet banking if you have it and pay that amountto them by bank transfer. this has no cost to you and the money goes straight away to your debt. This will mean that you cannot fritter the money away on anything else.

I love the above tip so much I have started doing this myself and its quite a buzz. Im sure the postman will not be happy as my statement is likely to be hundreds of pages long with all the £1 and £2 payemnts that are goingto be made :rotfl:

Hope some of this is helpful

Crown

Dithering_Dad wrote: »

I started up a company to bring more cash in and have never been so well off! All because I happened across this great website!

Hi DD, Dont mean to hijack the thread but did you set up the company as well as doing your job or do you mean you quit work nd started on your own? I am thinking of doing the same thing. Give your business a plug on here. I dare you lol

racer256

My main tip is to keep a spending diary and I know its a pain but it is worth it. After a month you can see what you can cut back on. Another tip is to add up all your debts ( and your partners), get out some family photographs and for every £100 you are in debt put down a photograph. Every month see how many photographs you can put away. Puts it perspective!!

Good Luck

pania

Hi there and welcome, it's not so much about a kick up the bottom as support to get started. I was scared, Bloomin scared at the amount of debt that i had. i joined the boards, did a bit and then left again, but as of yesterday isaback!! We can can can can can do it! and what bigger motivation than your own house with the OH, and the financail security that brings.
Something i found works for people if you can do it. Open a savings account and set up a bill payment to come out the day after you get paid, as you would for a DD say. That way money that would have been surplus and tempting is now gone, and give the book or card to someone trustworthy with strict instruction you can't have it back!!! that should reduce the amount of money you have that appears surplus and avoid you spending it.

Come on you CAN do it.

I agree that looking at your attitude to debt is a good idea. Are you, like me, scared of dealing with it? Do you not know where to start? do you need to spend the surplus to make up for something else? if any of these apply there are loads of people that will give you the right advice and help to get you through this.
Try posting an SOA so we can see whats happening here.

Best of luck and big hugs.
xx

onedayiwill

I think most of us have had a light bulb moment (LBM). And when that comes.... you know - it feels like someone is smacking you around the face and motivation to pay the debts off is no longer a problem - you HAVE to do it. As DD said, you don't have to have the baliffs knowing before you get the LBM - I didn't, I was managing to make minimum payments etc but just never seemed to have any money. Seems like your light is "flickering" at the moment!

My LBM came after a wonderful holiday with Mr OneDay. We started talking about moving overseas. At which point I realised my debt would stop this from happening. What made it worse was Mr OneDay didn't know about it. I HAD to pay it off....so that Mr OneDay and myself could start a new life overseas. I'm working on it now, Mr OneDay now knows and supports me, and we hope to move in June 08. Even if we don't go, being debt free will enable us to enjoy our life more.

If you don't have the motivation, or a target, you won't do it...some possible motivations, all of which are very positive reasons:

- Moving overseas (;))
- Buying a house
- Starting a family
- Realising what a mess you'd be in if you lost your job
- Dream holiday
...... so you have anything in your life that you could use a motivation.

I could just kick you up the backside and say "pay them off" but frankly that won't work. You've got to find the motivation for yourself.

Hope that light soon turns from flickering to bright and steady!

Dithering_Dad

Crown wrote: »

Hi DD, Dont mean to hijack the thread but did you set up the company as well as doing your job or do you mean you quit work nd started on your own? I am thinking of doing the same thing. Give your business a plug on here. I dare you lol

I gave up my job and became a freelancer - still doing the same job but working for myself rather than someone else. Was REALLY terrifying at first but now it's only really scary :eek:

I have a sideline business though where I act as a male escort for lonely DFW ladies, really good rates. I just thought I'd plug that one here

p.s. I don't really, I was just joking - sorry if anyone got trampled in the stampede of DFW ladies rushing to this post :rotfl:

catewithers

Oh DD - I was getting all excited and preparing to PM you til I read your PS - don't raise our hopes like that!

Dithering_Dad

Sorry CW, I really should think before I open my mouth, er keyboard (?). How many ladies hearts must have leaped by my escort announcement, just to have been crushed by the p.s.

I feel really bad now.

Don't worry though ladies, your own Dithering dad is out there somewhere. Just keep praying!! :rotfl:

Mozette

Echo what Racer says about a spending diary, when you see how much you have spent on - whatever unecessary thing is your particular weakness - and then go on the snowball calculator http://www.whatsthecost.com/creditCard.aspx
[I hope I've posted a link there!] then if you say spend ooh £200 a month on lattes, see what a difference it makes to your debt free date - YEARS - then it's your call, what do you want most?
Tell you what, I spend £200 a month less on lattes now!!!