This is me

Lucy1982_2

My problem was not telling my OH, but telling my Mother. I finally braved it on Tuesday of this week!

She took it really well and while she can't help money wise, she's going to offer loads of moral support and will check how I'm doing each month and have set me a target to be free of Store cards and at least half my overdraft by christmas. More if I can manage it.

What do you think your OH's reaction will be? You know better than anyone else.

Thatsthewayitis

When we first got together (9 years ago) I had £3000 of cc debt, I told my OH who got very stressed, told me that it was a horrible thing to have (debt) and not to get into it again. mmmm. I was ok then for a while, I stayed debt free for 7 years - my debts have occurred through house improvements and general un necessary spending. My OH would not react well, when I bring up in conversation the problem that people have with debts, my OH gives a very dismissive view - not doing it though is creates more stress, and makes me feel ashamed.

Storm

If you're looking at changing utility providers, insurances etc make sure you read Martin's articles about finding the cheapest deal & getting cashback through sites like Quidco etc.

As for Ebay - others have said before about children's clothes selling well, especially baby ones as they don't tend to get worn so much! Of course, you need to weigh this up against whether you're planning on having any more!

I won't repeat the areas that others have identified you could possibly reduce, but do check you're on the right council tax band: http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/cgi-bin/viewnews.cgi?newsid1160141972,18232,

Lucy1982_2

I was really ashamed of my debt and I suppose I still am. Perhaps it's different with my Mum, but she just turned round and said she loved me and would never be shamed of anything I did.

But I got myself into a situation where everything was under control I've covered my payments and felt that I could tell her. I could present her with the debt and the way I intend to get out of them.

But if you don't want to run the risk we'll offer loads of support here.

david_hellier

Hi and Welcome.

According to my figures you have £119.70 to spend on food, clothes, children, social etc. I suggest you write this amount in a little book (a spending diary ebay) on a Monday and keep a note of what you spend by subtraction. I assume no TV licence? I've included car tax x2 at £150 per car.

It's not fair that your OH doesn't know of your financial situation. You need to ensure he is paying his whack too.

OD payoff is included in the figures, so ignore your bank balance. Time to put the kettle on, sit down with OH, show him these figures and SHARE.

Good luck, the figures are as follows:


income weekly monthly
self 3200.00
partner







total 0.00 3200.00 divide by 4.33
£738.47

£738.47 total weekly income

spend weekly monthly
rent/mortgage 1205.00
council tax 123.33
elec 51.00
gas 51.00
water 27.00
secured loans 0.00
TV licence 0.00
fines 0.00
buildings ins 37.00
phone 47.00
car ins 58.00
car tax 25.00
life 37.00
mob 15.00
petrol 175.00
egg cc 320.00
cahoot 460.00
od payoff 50.00














total 0.00 2681.33 divide by 4.33
£618.77

£618.77 total weekly spend

Start= income - spend = £119.70 per week

COOKIEWILLOW

i still havent told my oh anything, he was bit of ostrich when cc balance was 3,000 , a few years ago wait til he finds out my two loans, other ccs as well. all spiralling from that first cc!!! while i sprint to mail box and phone each day, he is blissfully unaware. i know i need to tell him but dont fancy the blast. will post soa soon when i dare to add it all up and admit to it myself. exhausted everything avenue., but have felt a lot better reading these threads.

Thatsthewayitis

Thank you for your help & advice. I think not being alone in this situation is one of the best feelings, it counter acts what can feel dreadful.

OK - I will tell OH - when I've a clear plan of action, I have to - I'll come back to you all when I've done it.

In the meantime, how do people remain focused on reducing their debts? I know I have them, and they are a problem - any help with keeping positive about it all?

Little_Miss_Magic

Hi, welcome to mse:hello:

Pls don't take this the wrong way, it may sound curt, but isn't suppose to be, only got about 2 mins then kids will be in from school.....

You owe £34,000 of debts, and you said;-

Thatsthewayitis wrote: »

my debts have occurred through house improvements and general un necessary spending. My OH would not react well, when I bring up in conversation the problem that people have with debts, my OH gives a very dismissive view - not doing it though is creates more stress, and makes me feel ashamed.

If you have spent £34K on house improving and generalised spending, surely your husband must have a clue that you are in debt ?

He can't be that foolish to realise that the money hasn't grown on a tree?
Can he

.

Thatsthewayitis

No - not curt at all.
- before I go on my OH is my wife..do I sound feminine??! yikes - might of found my femine side at last -about 20,000 of my debt has been spent on new bits of house, I've just not told her how much this has cost - she doesn't involve herself with finances, only that they should all be ok...perhaps I wouldn't be in this mess if I had involved her a bit more?
That's why I'm quite happy for my OH to spend her salary as she feels fit, she does pay for the kids meals, clubs etc., I don't want to give any hint of my debt issues.

Little_Miss_Winner

Hi, well done for taking the hardest step of all, and that is realising you can't go on spending as you have been.

Yes you need a plan of action as you say, so what is it gonna be?

For starters i would suggest finding out how much apr you are paying on your mortgage, loans and CC's.

Also what is your credit score like?

You will probably find that if you credit score is good, you will be able to switch these loans/cc to different providers and save thousands in interest for very little effort.

Another good tool to use which i dont think has been mentioned is https://www.whatsthecost.com/snowball.aspx
This will work out what you debt free date will be.

Keep posting!
Hugs