Pregnant again after recurrent miscarriages & reduced working hours

spamalot

Hi all,

I suffer from recurrent miscarriage and I found out recently that I am pregnant again (keeping everything crossed). I'm incredibly stressed about losing this baby so I went to the GP and talked through options for managing stress. He offered to sign me off from work for a few weeks but instead I asked if they would write a note that would support reduced working hours instead. GP was happy with this solution as it would help long-term. I had a sick day last week when I was feeling really poorly but apart from that the new reduced hours plan seems to be working well.

Here's the thing, I explained the whole situation to my boss and now its been put into place I feel like I'm been treated like a bit of a 'problem child' at work. Nothing really I can put my finger on, just a feeling from comments about how heavy the workload is and other problems they've got to manage. I've worked my rear off for this company for the last 16 years and this is the first time I've ever really asked for support. Even when I had my other miscarriages I didn't take much time off (which I think looking back was a mistake), so I feel a little angry at the moment. Maybe I'm just being paranoid/stressed/getting worked up but feeling hyper sensitive at the moment. I would really appreciate other perspectives on this.

Has anyone else reduced their working hours to deal with stress after recurrent miscarriage?

pigpen

Congratulations and everything crossed this 'the one' for you.

Personally I wouldn't care what they are behaving like.. you are doing what you need to do to make yourself feel happier and more comfortable and increase the chances of your unborn child surviving.. that is what matters. If they can't handle the work load they will just have to employ more staff that is not your problem.

Ignore their behaviour that is their problem too .. relax, do your duties and look after the 2 of you!!

go_cat

Maybe you need to mention that the doctor wanted to sign you off completely however your dedication to the company prevented you accepting that so you chose the option that best managed your health and your work

Good luck with this pregnancy ...don't stress about work. You are protected by law being pregnant

tea_lover

I definitely agree with pigpen. All that matters here is you and your health. If the company don't like it, then they will need to do something practical about it (eg. get a temp, spread the work around etc) instead of just moaning which doesn't help them or you.

I know it's not easy when you're trying to do the right thing and still feel like you're getting it in the neck, but the best thing you can do right now is ignore any comments. You always have the option of being signed off completely if they really start getting to you.

Congratulations, and best of luck. I really hope this one sticks!

spamalot

Thanks Pigpen - I keep trying to tell myself that I've got to do everything I can for the chance of keeping of beanie.

go cat - I told them this but it doesn't seem to have made much difference.

I just don't feel very resilient at the moment to shrug things off, normally i'd be the one fighting for someone else and looking after them. This isn't like me to feel so vulnerable.

thorsoak

Go back to your doctor whose initial reaction was to give you a sick/fit note (sorry don't know which term is used) - and ask that you be signed off for a few weeks.

This is when your health/your baby comes before work!

daska

If going in on reduced hours is leading to additional stress then go back to your GP and get the fit note he suggested in the first place!!!!

peachyprice

spamalot wrote: »

Thanks Pigpen - I keep trying to tell myself that I've got to do everything I can for the chance of keeping of beanie.

go cat - I told them this but it doesn't seem to have made much difference.

I just don't feel very resilient at the moment to shrug things off, normally i'd be the one fighting for someone else and looking after them. This isn't like me to feel so vulnerable.

Sweetheart, your baby is more important than the feelings of the people you work with, if their attitude is causing you upset and stress go back to the doctor and get him to sign you off properly.

You need to put yourself first now, sod how others at work are finding the workload, they're going to have to cope when you're on maternity leave, they may as well get used to not having you around so much now.