Who would you choose as guardian for your child(ren)?

Towser

Has anyone else had any thoughts about who they would ask to look after your children in the event of your death?

DH and I come back to this topic periodically, and we are in a bit of a fix really, so I thought I'd canvass opinions here.

ds dx HFA delayed expressive language age 6.

So far I think it will be his brother and three cousins being equal trustees financially as it would be too much burden for one person and they might not want the responsibility. I have chosen his own generation incase I am not around in the far future when he is an old man.

As for who will look after him, so far I have thought I would let the Disabilities team work that one out. Unless some really good advice comes along on this thread. His brother and three cousins/family visiting I would hope would do something if there was something not quite right eg Winterbourne scandal. Terrible as it is to think he may be abused without me. Everybody has their cross to bear at some point in their life but I think it may not happen. I will make his life as happy as I can while I am alive.

I think the hardest part of this is knowing that my son would really really struggle without me, now obviously I know that is true for all children who lose a parent, but my son is much more dependent if you know what I mean?

This is the reason why I have put off making a will for so long I think, I just don't know!

kingfisherblue

My daughter is an adult, and she is insistent that she will look after both her brothers if anything happened to me - they are in their early teens. She is also determined to look after the older of her brothers as an adult and if I die before him. He has Down's Syndrome and a list of medical conditions. I worry that she may take on too much, and that her life will not be her own. She wants to continue with her career, marry, and have children of her own, and I don't want her to give up any of that for her brother. Having said that, she has pointed out that I am still only. In my early 40s, and by the time I die, her own children, if she has any, are likely to be teenagers or adults themselves.

It really is difficult, and my younger son has also said that he will look after his brother when I am gone, but again, I don't want him to put his life on hold either.

I don't think there is an easy answer.

Brassedoff

My mother is bringing up her grandson (my sisters son) due to the mess my sister puts herself in. If anything happens to them, they have basically selected me. It was more fait accompli rather than saying yes, but he is family and I could not see him placed in care.

Savvy_Sue

We named guardians who we trusted to sort out the best thing for the boys, rather than people who would actually take them in. Our reasoning was that what was best for them would change over time: if we'd died when they were small then keeping them together would probably have been best, but once they were teenagers that might not have been best, etc.

Is that a possibility?