Complete renovation needed - are we taking on too much??

aeb_2

Ivana_Tinkle wrote: »

My God, I'd be impressed enough if anyone with triplets ever managed to brush their hair, never mind renovate a house! That really is inspirational.

I think I learned quickly not to worry, to chill out about everything.

When I just had DS1 I got more stressed out about not being able to get on with stuff. Completely frustrated about not having time like you say to brush my hair or wash up from breakfast before bedtime.

Now I priorities but so long as the children and animals are OK everything else can wait. DIY gets done in the evening, usually an hour at the most and jobs do take for ever but that's OK. Measure twice, cut once - well for me it's measure 10 times, cut once because there are so many stops and starts but that's OK.

I admit it makes a difference that it's a big house so I can shut the room off for a few weeks and I'm not looking at it every day. I can see that would be a problem. I can also make a noise at night as I have no near neighbours and the children were in my bedroom on the left but the rooms I was decorating are on the right so they can sleep.

Everyone has different priorities. The way I live drives my mum crazy. She wants the pots washed before the meal is eaten! She forgets how we lived through my dad's DIY years ago now she has enough money to get a man in the change a light bulb (seriously she did!)

asharon

I'm renovating my first place, although it didnt have a lift.

One piece of advice, get as much dusty work done before moving in, Even then you'll live with dust for a long time, but if you plane to sandblast old stone fireplaces dont think plastic sheeting will keep it in.

Davesnave

aeb wrote: »

I can imagine what you could be thinking about how a single woman with 6 small children doing DIY on such a house could turn out. We looked at so many like that I know just what you are thinking.

Yes, the 6 small children would be enough for most people to manage alone, but children are far more adaptable than adults.

The stumbling block for many will not be the kids, but their other half. Unless both have full commitment, accept responsibility for their decisions, and understand the likely time scale for DiY, things can go paridae-up, big time.

You are comfortable with your life and you 'get it' that the journey is just as valuable as arriving, but that makes you quite special in this 'want it now' society.

lessonlearned

Very good point there about partners. A partner who is not on board can make life very difficult.

In the early years my OH left it all to me and I was quite happy with that. Not because he was against doing the work, he just wasn't very good at it.;)

Whenever he tried anything involving hammers, saws etc I would cringe - he was so clumsy. I would have the first aid kit on standby.
I quickly learned it was safer not to let him near a tool box.

Fast forward 25 years and he was diagnosed with Cerebellar Ataxia. I now think his "clumsiness" was in fact a clear sign that his fine motor movements - ie poor tool handling etc were an early symptom of his condition. It's just that no-one realised there was anything wrong.

I once worked with someone many years ago who had Fredreich's Ataxia and one his earliest symptoms was a decline in fine motor movements. In his case it was picked up very early on because he was a violin maker by trade and of course the delicate nature of the work was just beyond him.

Partners who are not fully on board with renovating or restoring can really struggle to come to terms with the mess and upheaval.
Children tend not to notice the mess, to them it's an adventure and they are fascinated it by it all.

My boys had paint rollers in their hands just as soon as they could toddle.:rotfl: By the time they were in their early teens they were laying floors. repairing plasterwork, putting up coving, hard landscaping.

Aeb I bet your children will grow up just the same. They will learn from you and grow up with valuable practical skills.

My boys tell me that some of their friends are really quite envious that they were not allowed to get involved in diy as children and wished they had learned the same skills.

I learned from my "helping" my dad, from watching the trades on site when I worked for developers, reading a few good diy books and just rolling up my sleeves and getting on with it.

Today there is You-Tube - you can learn anything you need to know. Obviously leave electrics and gas to the professionals:eek:

phoebe1989seb

lessonlearned wrote: »

My boys had paint rollers in their hands just as soon as they could toddle.:rotfl: By the time they were in their early teens they were laying floors. repairing plasterwork, putting up coving, hard landscaping.

Aeb I bet your children will grow up just the same. They will learn from you and grow up with valuable practical skills.

My boys tell me that some of their friends are really quite envious that they were not allowed to get involved in diy as children and wished they had learned the same skills.

Lesson - same here........our 23 year old DS lived in our *building site* project houses since he was born and was always keen to get involved, helping his dad and I from a very early age, all of which we thought would put him off period properties in need of work for life, but quite the opposite in fact.

Apart from the amazing job he's just done giving the kitchen of their London flat a complete makeover (his GF - bless her - struggles to keep paint off herself and on the walls, LOL!), yesterday on a flying visit he helped DH lay a very nice Roger Oates runner on our twisty stairs - saving us a small fortune in carpet fitter fees His old uni friends are far less hands-on and get him to fit shelves etc in their homes - it's not like he took a vocational degree either.......he's a philosophy graduate now working in law

Aeb - you really are an amazing inspiration - good on you for not buckling under what life has thrown at you

aeb_2

Davesnave wrote: »

Yes, the 6 small children would be enough for most people to manage alone, but children are far more adaptable than adults.

The stumbling block for many will not be the kids, but their other half. Unless both have full commitment, accept responsibility for their decisions, and understand the likely time scale for DiY, things can go paridae-up, big time.

You are comfortable with your life and you 'get it' that the journey is just as valuable as arriving, but that makes you quite special in this 'want it now' society.

I just lost my whole reply:mad:

Anyway, my cup of tea time is over so I'll just say you have hit the nail right on the head. Although I miss DH it it so much easier with just one adult in the house, meal times, bed times, chores all done when I want/need.

Off to do 1/2 an hour ironing, no DIY on Friday night.

ps - if anyone has lost a cream silky I found her in my garden today trying to get in with mine but with mine being big Sussex X brutes I saved her and placed her in the empty guinea pig run.