4 kids and no money!!!

manhater

thesaint wrote: »

Is your username meant to be offensive?

Hopefully not, but then i have never met a sensitive man!

Jet

manhater - I do feel for you. But as you weren't able to claim life insurance anyway, then the widows allowance is very small anyway, so I guess you're not missing much.

It must be incredibly hard bringing up 4 kids with no financial support from anywhere else, but as another poster said, you are not alone.

I myself, am a single parent and get no help from my son's father or am likely to. He, in fact is off on holiday in a few weeks with another woman and her children and because he doesn't want to "upset" his girlfriend, our son isn't "allowed" to go. :mad:

As for the person on here who pays off £800 per month of debts and lives on benefits. I don't think that is a typical example. I'm certainly not in that position now (working part time and claiming small amount of working and child tax credit) and in fact, don't know how it would be possible for me to live within my means on income support levels let alone pay off debts.

manhater

Jet wrote: »

manhater - I do feel for you. But as you weren't able to claim life insurance anyway, then the widows allowance is very small anyway, so I guess you're not missing much.

It must be incredibly hard bringing up 4 kids with no financial support from anywhere else, but as another poster said, you are not alone.

I myself, am a single parent and get no help from my son's father or am likely to. He, in fact is off on holiday in a few weeks with another woman and her children and because he doesn't want to "upset" his girlfriend, our son isn't "allowed" to go. :mad:

As for the person on here who pays off £800 per month of debts and lives on benefits. I don't think that is a typical example. I'm certainly not in that position now (working part time and claiming small amount of working and child tax credit) and in fact, don't know how it would be possible for me to live within my means on income support levels let alone pay off debts.

Your ex has typical ex husband syndrome. Basically he now has just moved on! and of course you are expected to carry on regardless.

Just dont become one of the partners like his new girlfriend if your next partner has children from another woman. Completely selfish for her own wants and needs, you will probably find that her childrens father is paying good maintenance to her and sees the child regularly.

I have found alot of new partners have a great influence over the maintenance and access rights, funny coz most of the time the wife of 20 years has struggled no end to get him under there thumb and failed yet new partners manage it in just weeks. lol

black-saturn

I've been through similar experiences as you and would just like to tell you there are some nice men out there. I didn't believe it until 2 years ago but there is at least one (and I've got him ).

MXW

manhater wrote: »

Though sympathetic to your circumstances of paying maintenance to an ex you have to remember that you are also someones ex who is getting paid, to which you should both be grateful that you receive any money from your childrens fathers, there are lots of people out there and i mean thousands upon thousands who receive nothing!! this is not a bonus that you receive/give maintenance but a thing that SHOULD be done. I dont think anyone who receives/gives maintenance should be patted on the back as this is THERE child to whom they equally bought into the world so why should the missing parent be able to walk around doing as they like when they like spending what they like whilst the parent left with the child struggles for baby sitters for work or nights out, holidays, outing, clothes ect, ect.

As for the person paying off £800 a month on debts with there child tax credits/income support i take my hat off to them, as do you honestly think this family have as much as a comfortable lifestyle as you seem to think they might have? which brings me to question if you have ever been unfortunate enough to be a single parent for long enough, out of work on benefits and struggle with a massive string of debt around your neck, i think not!

Please dont think i am attacking you with malace but it does enrage me when people think you are 'having it off' when you are claiming benefits.

I was working and earning £150.000 a year before the death of my childrens father, so i feel with all the tax over 10 years that i contributed i am more than entitled to my fair share from the state, though i know this is not everyones great fortune, you shouldnt tarnish everyone with the same brush who is claiming benefits...not everyone is a bum.

Couldn't have said it better myself

manhater

black-saturn wrote: »

I've been through similar experiences as you and would just like to tell you there are some nice men out there. I didn't believe it until 2 years ago but there is at least one (and I've got him ).

You lucky lucky girl, i wish you and your family forever happiness.

kelloggs36

MXW when do you go back to Court? Sometime in June isn't it?

MXW

kelloggs36 wrote: »

MXW when do you go back to Court? Sometime in June isn't it?

It was originally 06/06/07, but this has been adjourned to 27/06/07 (which is my little boy's birthday!) Lots of things have happened in the meantime, I have now had to get a solicitor involved (my dad is paying for him) I am just getting more and more into debt. Have received my ex statement of earings today and the amount of debt he has taken on is unbeleivable......will have to see what happens on the 27th! Thanks for asking.

Spendless

Jet wrote: »

As for the person on here who pays off £800 per month of debts and lives on benefits. I don't think that is a typical example.

I'm pretty sure I know who this person is, and you are right it isn't a typical example. They are currently putting all tax credit/child benefit into debt repayment as 1 of them is about to stop work (previously both worked)when they will be living on a reduced income. The tax credits are paid weekly and this being a 5 week month, they have an extra amount to be flung at their debt. They also budget right down to the last penny, whilst struggling with any problems life has thrown at them.

manhater. I hope things get better for you. ((((())))))

Jet

affordmylife wrote: »

My current husband and i dont get any benefits but i do get maintenance from two ex partners and he has to pay maintenance for his two daughters so its swings and roundabouts there.

Well you are lucky then. I have been in a relationship where we paid maintenance for my partners children from his first marriage but we never received maintenance from my ex for my son living with us. So it was all swings and no roundabouts for us. :mad: