Telling Mum...

Lucy1982_2

I've read a few threads on here where people have told their families the extent of their debt.

I've never been brave enough to do this. I've told one of my close friends and she know everything, several other know the amount but aren't really interested. I'm feeling really down about it all at the moment and have made a really big decision.

I'm going to tell my Mum :eek:

She's not in a financial position to help, but I can't cope with lying to her. She's know's I owe some money but not the real figure as I didn't want to worry her. But I now feel like it would be better for me to tell her and I know deep down that she would want to know.

Am I insane and does anyone have any tips? I really worried that she's go mental at me. Do I back out? I've texted her asking to have a chat this evening. Is this really a good idea?

matt4504

Yeah, I think it's good if you tell her because she can offer advice/support. It's like Bank of Mum & Dad on TV, yeah she might be mega !!!!ed off at first but she'll calm down.

Seaxwyn

Hello Lucy - no you're not insane, and yes it's a good idea.

As a mum myself, I know I would always want to know the truth if any of my children had problems - even if I was disappointed or angry with them I would rather know.

And it will be a relief for you not to have to lie or conceal anything. Even if your mum can't help you financially, she might have some good ideas to improve the situation. And just sharing the problem will be a relief.

Lucy1982_2

It's just so scary. It's like being a child again.

I've got to the stage where I don't know what to do. I cover my repayments each month, that's not a problem. it's just the fact that the debt is there is that makes sense

Crown

Hi Lucy,

Go for it. As has already been said she may be mad or she could be very upset but its for the best that its out in the open as its the worst feeling in the world when you cant talk openly with your own family about your life.

I will feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.
The only advice I can really say is that you are doing the right thing. Make sure that you let your mum know calmly that you have looked into it and are doing something about it and you are now able to make the monthy repayments but wanted her to know as you feel she would want to know.

Maybe a box of tissues wouldnt go a miss either

I wish you the best with it and know you feel better after its out in the open. I'll be thinking of you.

Lucy1982_2

I'l let you know. I mean what's the worst that can happen, she's disappointed in me and frosty for a little bit. But to be honest the more likely reaction will be that I was stupid for not telling her and stupid for getting into this situation in the first place!

Well that's what I'm hoping anyway.

jo1972

Hey Lucy,

Just wanted to say good luck I hope it works out ok.

My mum knows nothing either but I just don't want to disappoint her so hoping that I can get rid of all the debt before she finds out!!!

Jo.x

Lucy1982_2

Thanks Jo

I'm hoping that while she's not going to have a magic wand and fix everything, she'll offer some support and stop me spending when I don't need to. Everything is currently under control so the key is to not add to it, she should be able to help with this.

Lucy1982_2

Oh my god I have just told my Mum about my debt!!! :eek:

She rang to find out what was the matter and I sort of blurted it out!!! She didn't get angry... Ok she told me I was stupid, but that I should of come to her and she would have helped as much as she could.

She also said that she had some idea that something was wrong as I was also complaining I had no money and she couldn't work out why. I cried my eyes out. I told her I was ashamed of it and I didn't want her to be disappointed in me.

All she said was that she was proud to have a daughter who would come to her (eventually!) that I have nothing to be ashamed of and that she loved me no matter what I do.

So when we both get in tonight (I live with her) we are going to go through my finances and hers and see where we can save as she admits she spends to much!

So I now feel really daft that I didn't do this in the first place. So while she can't help financially she is going to support and help in every way she cans.

I really can't ask for anything more. My Mum is great.

jo1972

Awwww I got all teary eyed then!!

I'm so pleased it went so well, lucky you having such a supportive mum

Well done!

Jo.x

joeblack066

Well done to you and your Mum. My eldest came to me with a money problem a month ago, I can't help practically but I was pleased he came to me for advice and we worked a budget out together for him. Things will get easier for you now hun. (((HUGS)))