No Soundproofing in New Council Property: I'm living in a prison!

moneyistooshorttomention

I'm the first person to have sympathy with someone being disturbed by neighbours noise - I absolutely loathe hearing any external noise myself and will complain if the noise is unreasonable.

BUT that is only if the noise is "unreasonable", eg loud music or a noisy type alarm clock going to wake them up for work in the middle of the night (because they have a job that involves getting up in the early hours - rather than at normal "getting up for work times"). I won't complain about normal noise - even though I dislike it. So tv at normal volume, washing machine at normal times, a budgie, hearing the blimmin' next door neighbour sneeze (that's a regular one currently - and he does sneeze very loudly). I just have to grit my teeth about noises like that and blame the builders of our properties for doing their job badly.

It is very clear, from what you say, that you really aren't being at all unreasonable in the level of sound you make - just normal everyday noises at normal volume - and therefore your neighbours certainly have no cause to complain by the sound of it and I certainly wouldn't in their position. In their position I'd be looking to move myself or buying earplugs and looking for ways to treat the depression this level of sound coming through into my home would probably cause.

I wouldn't be complaining to my neighbour above - because I'd know it wasn't her fault. I'd complain to the Council about the building and be moaning to myself about cheapskate bodging builders - but I certainly don't think they should be complaining to you and making out that the noise level is your fault. It isn't - its the buildings' fault.

In your position, I would just get on and lead my normal quiet little life - just as you are doing - and totally ignore their complaints. They will create a bit of an atmosphere - but just ignore that too. Just get on with your life and, as long as you know in your own mind, that you genuinely aren't being a noisy neighbour and its just down to the building having been badly constructed then blow 'em...

Yes - you CAN just ignore their knock. Have a peephole put in the front door of your flat and check out who the person knocking is before you answer the door. If you can see its the neighbour then just don't answer it - go back into your sitting room and put the radio or tv on and listen to them. She'll give up knocking and go back to her own flat. After she has been ignored a few times she will give up even trying to knock on your door.

As for the "You're making me feel ill" tactic from her - ignore that too. "Playing the martyr" is a well-known tactic and one used by quite a few people and I have certainly known one who used it for years, but had to give up in the end when I made it plain that I had realised it was a tactic of theirs to get their own way.

Tigsteroonie

Her illness - whilst unfortunately - is not your problem, so you don't have to be extra quiet for that reason.

As others have said, they've lived there 7 years so must be used to having people upstairs from them. They are probably trying to intimidate you into leaving so that the flat becomes empty (and quiet) again. You can show awareness of the problems by not playing loud music, not wearing clogs, perhaps refraining from DIY after 8pm and being particularly quiet after midnight - but you don't have to avoid daily life activities (including making love!)

Funky_Bold_Ribena

kawaii-lobster wrote: »

What do I do when they come upstairs complaining though? I can't just ignore the knock, they know when I'm in. If I say no and refuse, the woman says she cannot sleep because she says she has a condition that causes severe fatigue and kidney problems.

I don't know what to do. My partner is annoyed and has said that if us talking at night is causing problems that they should just wear earplugs, but I don't know how to say that to them without sounding rude...

To them:
Has this problem ever happened before?
Yes it has happened with everyone in the last 7 years
Well then, it's going to continue happening and trying to hound me out will get you nowhere so perhaps the problem is not me as I can't actually never dry my hair, move around in bed, walk around the flat. So there's really nothing more I can do. Sorry.

yeahyeahyeah

Honestly, I can't believe their cheek! Intimidating a young girl in her home when they fully know it is not your fault. You have as much right to live in the building as they do, and to live your life.

If it is genuinely such a problem for their health, they should be seeking help to be re-housed. Regardless of how long they have lived somewhere, surely if it makes them that miserable and ill, it stops feeling like home, you'd think they would be desperate to get out!

I would keep bringing it to the attention of the council. Try through a 'repairs' route, seeing if you can get a surveyor out to assess excessive noise. Try through a 'housing issue' route; does your council have a housing office or an area manager that deals with tenancy issues? Such as noise pollution, ASB etc? If there's any reference/named contact, give this to your neighbour as proof you have done something.

I would try to be fair but firm with downstairs, I would say it is out of my hands, I've passed the details to the council to see if there's anything they can do to help. Appreciate the noises problems etc, but seeing as it's happened for 7 years, maybe they should look at ways of coping with it rather than popping upstairs all the time when they know there's nothing that can be done....

chappers

Unfortunately this is something we have to put up with, as long as you aren't being unreasonable, then They will just have to put up with it. You need to tell them you are sorry but there isn't anything you can do. You should be allowed to go about your own business.
Maybe a joint assault, from all in the block, on the council might pay dividends. Try shelter they may know if the Council have an obligation to provide acertain standard of accomodation with regards to this.

Excited13

I feel so sorry for you that you feel you can't live your normal daily life without fear of complaints from your neighbours. I agree with other people contact the council to discuss about sound proofing etc.

I live in a flat that was built about 10 years ago and I can hear upstair sneezing and when I first moved in it sounded like they moved the furniture every night. I previously lived in a Victorian terrace and one night I thought I was being burgled due to how thin the walls were.

Good luck but don't feel pressured to move from your home.

Norman_Castle

I have sympathy for both you and your neigbour. Where I live noise travels between floors easily. Your neighbors are on a short fuse because of 7 years of noise nuisance/problems. Not your fault, but not theirs either. You don't say where you lived before but living in a flat can be much different to living in a house. As there is clearly a problem between the flats and you are doing whatever possible to keep quiet and you are still on good terms with the neighbour suggest to them you both talk to the council about soundproofing.
Carpets in every room would help and thick underlay can be cheap on ebay.

GDB2222

Do the downstairs neighbours have those little lights set into the ceiling?

DaftyDuck

I would politely ask them to keep a diary for a couple of days, to pinpoint the noise problems for both of you. Ask them to record time, type of noise, and location.

Then, review the list. It will either be reasonable (hammering; DIY, 11pm kitchen area. Loud music/TV 7am, lounge). Or it may be unreasonable (loud footsteps, 11am, lounge, talking in bedroom 11pm, kettle in kitchen 8am, )

If there are reasonable comments on the list, there may be room for you to not make such noise. It sounds like you have tried to an enormous degree, so this is unlikely.

If the list is day-to-day necessities, including the occasional noisy bedroom night (you did say you were 21!) then, when they complain to the council, you'll have, in their own hand, a list that will show how unreasonable they are, and you can easily demonstrate how reasonable you have been. Having to rehome a kitty for noise? I would not do it, and i would never expect a neighbour to do it, not for noise, nor any other reason that springs to mind.

I really hope you are able to stand your ground (difficult though it may be), as I agree with the others, they are playing you, trying for an empty flat, or for neighbours who live like hermits for their benefit!

Metranil_Vavin

Maybe next time they come complaining, invite them into your flat and ask them what they suggest you do to make the noise less.

Explain you are already tip-toeing about and never play loud music/have parties etc, so what do they suggest?

Maybe both of you could write to the council and see if they can help at all, but in reality if they are looking to just bully you out of the flat so it is empty and suits them, then tough.

You have as much right to enjoy your home as they do, and if you are being as considerate as you can, they cnanot expect you to creep about for fear of making any sound that may annoy them.