Anyone else walked/walking down the aisle together?

clarethere

Never thought this would be the first problem we'd run into planning our wedding! Right from starting to plan I decided I'd really like hubby 2B and I to walk into the church together as it seemed much more appropriate to me seeing as he's been married before, we've already got kids together and we're a couple in all other respects so to me it would feel like a farce to have my dad escorting me down the aisle to meet my other half (although that's not meant to sound at all judgey on everyone who is doing that, everyone should do what they feel happy with after all).

Hubby 2B was absolutely fine with the idea, he's not really bothered one way or the other but he liked the thought of not hanging around on his own waiting, but now there's been such a fuss he thinks we should resort to the traditional way to keep the peace but I hate the idea.

My dad said he was ok about not walking me down the aisle but both my parents have said they think it's a weird idea, mainly because no-one they know has ever done it. His parents are so shocked about the idea you'd think we'd decided to walk in naked - they think it's a terrible idea because everyone there will think H2B has decided not to turn up and be worried about where he is, that it's 'too odd' to do, that it's not very nice that H2B sees me beforehand, that it looks like we're renewing our vows not making them etc etc - the list goes on.

H2B is sitting firmly on the fence and saying if it's really important to me we should go ahead and do it our way but it might be easier not to for a quiet life. Very tempted to put my foot down and stick with our original plan, especially as I think it'll be lovely going in as the family that we already are, but wondering if I'm being stubborn and might have missed something that means it won't be the good idea I think it is. If anyone else has done it or is planning to (or thinks it's a crazy idea) please tell me about it so I can get a few 2nd opinions!

Pinzy

It is entirely up to you. I am looking forward to my OH seeing me as I walk down the aisle toward him (big sop, getting blurry eyed just typing that). I'd quite like my mum and dad to walk me down but a) mum wouldn't like to be any focus of attention, and b) space.
One thing to consider is that if you do renew your vows in years to come, you can walk down together, but the wedding is a one-off

Maybe you could do a first look photoshoot? Then he'll get to see you first (another thing I like the idea of), but you'll still walk down the aisle later in the more "traditional" style.

dotchas

Another idea is to have OH waiting for you as usual, then when you arrive he walks to the back to collect you. I considered all sorts of ideas as I have no parents, but decide to ask a very dear friend to walk me down the aisle.

clarethere

Awww, think it's just a personal thing - when you talk about looking forward to going down the aisle it sounds lovely but if I think about doing it myself it just leaves me completely cold. A first-look photoshoot would feel the same to me, getting to see OH but then having to 'split' until getting to the altar. Think what I love most is the thought of going in as a couple/family, all being together as if we're all turning up to get married together rather than arriving by ourselves. That makes me well up a bit thinking about it, which is why I think it's the right choice for me. Feel like I need to convince the family though even though it's 'our day'.

clarethere

That might be a good compromise dotchas, especially as we were still going to get ready separately (if just to reduce the amount of people crammed into one house/room) and meet at the church so that would be almost the same. Really like that idea actually, then it looks traditional to start but we still get to go in together.

74jax

We will be seeing each other before the service, having lunch together as we don't get married til 4 and I suGgested us both walking in together but OH will be in the bar whilst I get ready, so I'm just walking myself down.

If you're both happy I'd go for it.

Katy84

Someone I know did it this way - I think it sounds lovely
xk

Faerie

We did! 2 weeks ago today in fact :beer:
I have lived with my husband for 6 years and Dad and I have a strained relationship at the best of times, so it seemed silly to ask him to give me away. I am not an object to be given away nor do I need his permisson or blessing to get married! A few people (outside the family) presumed I would walk in with my dad but I didn't hear any negative views when I told people.

It was nice holding hands and walking in the room together. I clung onto him for dear life walking down the aisle. It was one of my favourite moments of the day.

duchy

I always thought the whole point of the bride walking down the aisle was the grand entrance -and the groom seeing her make the grand entrance -Harder to do when they are side by side.

Have you talked to your Dad ...Lots think of it as a very special Dad moment and maybe the family are all complaining because they know/think he's disappointed but doesn't want to tell you ?

heartbreak_star

I would agree, have an honest conversation with your Dad before setting anything in stone. If he'd be really sad, I'd let him walk you down

Other than that - it's your wedding, you do what you want

If I ever marry, I'll walk myself up the aisle or ask my best friend to do it - Mum doesn't want to and Dad is sadly no longer with us.

HBS x

Jonesy_McJones

clarethere wrote: »

Never thought this would be the first problem we'd run into planning our wedding! Right from starting to plan I decided I'd really like hubby 2B and I to walk into the church together as it seemed much more appropriate to me seeing as he's been married before, we've already got kids together and we're a couple in all other respects so to me it would feel like a farce to have my dad escorting me down the aisle to meet my other half (although that's not meant to sound at all judgey on everyone who is doing that, everyone should do what they feel happy with after all).

Hubby 2B was absolutely fine with the idea, he's not really bothered one way or the other but he liked the thought of not hanging around on his own waiting, but now there's been such a fuss he thinks we should resort to the traditional way to keep the peace but I hate the idea.

My dad said he was ok about not walking me down the aisle but both my parents have said they think it's a weird idea, mainly because no-one they know has ever done it. His parents are so shocked about the idea you'd think we'd decided to walk in naked - they think it's a terrible idea because everyone there will think H2B has decided not to turn up and be worried about where he is, that it's 'too odd' to do, that it's not very nice that H2B sees me beforehand, that it looks like we're renewing our vows not making them etc etc - the list goes on.

H2B is sitting firmly on the fence and saying if it's really important to me we should go ahead and do it our way but it might be easier not to for a quiet life. Very tempted to put my foot down and stick with our original plan, especially as I think it'll be lovely going in as the family that we already are, but wondering if I'm being stubborn and might have missed something that means it won't be the good idea I think it is. If anyone else has done it or is planning to (or thinks it's a crazy idea) please tell me about it so I can get a few 2nd opinions!

I'd love to do this... I am absolutely dreading walking down the aisle with everyone looking at me - once I get to my OH’s side I know I’ll relax and start to enjoy it all. It doesn’t help that I am not particularly close to my parents and I’m not too into the idea of being ‘given away’ either (I’m nearly 40!!)

But I know everyone will have the same reaction as your OH’s family and we will more than likely do it the ‘traditional’ way just to please everyone else... *sigh*