Time to be completely honest

taxi73

Aww Sea ..sorry you are feeling so down and overwhelmed at the moment.OH not being supportive isn't much use either.
You are maybe worrying about the form more than you need to...I'm sure you'll feel better once you've done it...the more we think about things the more difficult they seem...then we tackle them and it wasn't so bad after all...hope this is the case for you...
Maybe put you're mind to tackling 2 questions at one time then having a break and tackling the next one until you've finished..it may help...
Glad to see e-bay is going well for you as they say every little helps...and good luck with the form

in_debt_again_but_dealing_with_it

Hi Sea
You sound exhausted - me thinks you trying to do too much at once - I know I've been there (I'll whisper this so as not to offend our man friends - its a woman thing and compulsary - multi tasking). I think among other things you have "end of term itus" I work in school and I have it too, its very contagious at this time of year and the only thing that cures it is 6 weeks holiday, so that what I'm prescribing!!! Please don't think I'm being flippant!! Just trying to raise a smile cause you deserve one. You are dealing with so much and with oh not being as positive as perhaps he could its no wonder you're feeling down. Hope things are soon looking up for you. Take care my honey.
IDA
xx

Sea78

Well, good and bad things here - good first - got post this morning, 2 vouchers - one from pigsback, one from mumsopinions and also very surprisingly - a tax rebate for £111 so that's great - I'm going to put that straight into my savings for paying off the lowest debt.

Bad - OH decided at 1.30am to introduce a sleep rouine to DS who has taken to waking and coming in our bed. I would not have chosen this time. An hour later he was still getting up every 20 mins and DS was still crying - so OH started having a go at me. I said it would be cruel to make him cry for all this time for no reason, but he carried on crying for ages. Eventually, OH brought him into bed, but we had a huge row. All the usual stuff - my fault the debt, he doesn't think we're working, called me psycho again (which I have to say set me off and I responded very childishly by telling him the reason I don't talk to him is becuase I'm not interested in his boring work stories - silly of me but I get so annoyed being called mad ). He wentinto one saying I had no maternal instinct blah blah. I told him to shush up, stop shouting and swearing at me.

So then of course I couldn't sleep - so from 1.30am to about 5am this morning no sleep. Got up about 8.30 with DD - he's still in bed now.

I think I'm on the brink of giving up. I just can't take the telling off and the insults. He also said that him paying DS's childcare and the mortgage was more than enough as it came to more than I earn. *sigh* I've been covering all the bills recently and as such savings I did have are no more. I refuse to se debt savings to pay for everyday living costs when it's not needed.

Sorry about my constant whining. I feel like that's all my diary has become, when I intended it to be a positive tale of my DFW journey.

Going to go tidy the house now. OH said I spend too long on the computer and not enough on the house an dhte kids, so I'm going to make an effort to do as much as possible with both those things today. He seems to forget that I also do all the surveys, selling on ebay and amazon etc too, not just being on here. He slagged off the site mocking me saying how much have I saved today - 2p?

I'll stop now or I could get an award for the moaniest post in history.

Sea xx

in_debt_again_but_dealing_with_it

Oh Sea huge hug coming your way!!! I'm sorry but your oh can be a complete banker, hope you don't mind me saying that, a bit biased I know but what he's doing to you is so cruel. You are worth far more than a million of him and don't you dare forget it. If you do decide to go it alone you WILL cope cause you're a survivor!!! Take care my hon.
love and huge hugs
IDA
xxd

Seaxwyn

Oh sea, he is not getting any better is he?

After all you have been through, and deciding to give him a second chance, I don't blame you for wanting to give up.

You have loads on your plate - a demanding job, young children and dealing with debts - you need support, not abuse and insults. If he's not going to support you are you better off with him around or not?

As for saying you don't have any maternal instinct, what rubbish! It shines out of every post what a loving mother you are.

Do what feels right for you, don't bother asking his opinion as he doesn't deserve to be listened to. And don't ever apologise for moany posts - we are here to support each other through difficult times and noone has to read anything they don't want to.

taxi73

Morning Sea...sorry to hear your OH is being such a pain...sometimes men don't grasp the concept of money...how much things cost etc...mine certainly didn't understand the true cost of running a house ..he used to think we were loaded as he brought in xxx amount...not realising the incomings were less than the outgoings...so I sat him down and went through everything and it certainly opened his eyes!!!..he understands now...
Does your OH understand everything that has to go out?...Is he maybe depressed and could do with seeing the doctor?
There's no need for him to be so nasty as you are trying your best to sort out the situation....which is bad enough without being appreciated...please don't worry about having a moan on here as we're here for the bad as well as the good times.Moan away...I don't know what to suggest about OH ...hope you get yourself sorted to a happier place...take care love taxixx

hypno06

Hey, moan away! We can take it!

Don't forget just how strong you are. Read back over your other posts from when you went through all this before and see just how good you are at juggling the books, the family and the job etc, with next to no support from OH.

Sooner or later the time will come for you to either accept that some things will not change, in which case you have to change the way it affects you - not let it bother you, or you have to say enough is enough.

Only you can make that choice, but whatever happens, please do not think that you are mad, useless, crap mother etc etc. That is simply not the case.

x

Snaggles

Sea, I'm so sad to hear about how you're being treated - you are SUCH a good Mum, how on earth can he say you have no maternal instinct. Please don't let him get away with speaking to you like that, you deserve so much better. I know you really want to make it work, but as others have said, we will be here for you if you do decide to make the break, and we will support you all the way. Take care sweetheart xxx

in_debt_again_but_dealing_with_it

Snaggles wrote: »

Sea, I'm so sad to hear about how you're being treated - you are SUCH a good Mum, how on earth can he say you have no maternal instinct. Please don't let him get away with speaking to you like that, you deserve so much better. I know you really want to make it work, but as others have said, we will be here for you if you do decide to make the break, and we will support you all the way. Take care sweetheart xxx

Sea hope you don't mind me briefly hitching your thread but have been trying to get hold of Snaggles to say your daughter is gorg and I so love your sig - she makes me smile everytime I see her.

Thanks Sea.
Take care.
IDA
xx

Lucy1982_2

HI Sea

This is your thread so you get it all out!!!

Sometimes we need to moan good and proper. I hope your feeling ok and you know where we all are.

Take care hon x