Am I being stupid?

afser02

If the mattress and bed is essential for you then you can use it. But if you don't want to use the mattress you can buy another one.

Pollycat

You're an adult - do what you want to do.
If you don't think you need a new bed, why let your Mum tell you otherwise?

I agree with the poster who mentioned hotel beds - you have no idea what's previously gone on in the bed you might be sleeping in - although I do appreciate that you only stay in hotels for a short time.

Just trying to think about some of the things that you know your sister and her boyfriend might have got up to to make you think the bed is so repugnant....

pinkladyof66

i wouldnt want the bed no, have never had a second hand bed apart from a single when i was a child. yes hotel rooms etc you stay for only short time, so tell your mum you dont want the mattress it is not being unreasonable perhaps suggest she has the mattress and you get a new one. My sister was going to give her mattress to her son that she shared with her new partner (not sons father) son was having none of it he is 19 and I dont blame him, at that age surely you should be having a new one of your own. I wouldnt expect my son when he is older to sleep on my bed,

podperson

Tbh with a mattress protector and new sheets it probably wouldn't bother me. But you're an adult, if you don't want the bed then just say that - or as others suggested if you like the frame then just take that and either keep your current mattress or buy a new one.
Is your mum worried about getting rid of it? Maybe put her in touch with charities who would upload it for her.

maman

I'm assuming you live with your mum and she sees it as a good piece of furniture going begging that she wants for her home.

If there's a spare room then that would solve both your problems.

It would be so easy to widen the discussion into what you can expect when you live in someone else's home as an adult but I'll avoid that. If you really want to be free to choose then you need your own place.

I'd simply tell your mum that you like your own bed, it's comfy and you don't want a 'new' one. Spare her the details of why!;)

P.S. Reminds me of a story where my niece moved out and took her bed with her for spare room in her new home. My brother then went out and bought a new bed because the cat missed sleeping on it in the daytime!

JimmyTheWig

pinkladyof66 wrote: »

i wouldnt want the bed no, have never had a second hand bed apart from a single when i was a child. yes hotel rooms etc you stay for only short time, so tell your mum you dont want the mattress it is not being unreasonable perhaps suggest she has the mattress and you get a new one. My sister was going to give her mattress to her son that she shared with her new partner (not sons father) son was having none of it he is 19 and I dont blame him, at that age surely you should be having a new one of your own. I wouldnt expect my son when he is older to sleep on my bed,

It depends on money, though, doesn't it.
If your son couldn't afford a new bed, and his existing bed was, for example, giving him back pain and you were getting rid of your decent condition old bed, would it not make sense for him to have it?

Tropez

If you don't want the bed, just say you don't want it.

I wouldn't be thinking about what has been going on in that bed though. If anyone stays here there isn't a bed, piece of furniture or kitchen table that they could use that hasn't at one point or another seen some... shenanigans and I'd wager that's true for quite a number of houses. I wonder just how many people this morning sat down at a kitchen table to prepare/eat their breakfast that had been used when a couple (or more!) were feeling rather amorous.

Really, as long as the bed has been clean there's no reason not to want it because of what your sister might have done in that bed. It's not really, in my opinion, a healthy thing to have a psychological issue with. If your bed does need replacing then it would make sense to take it assuming it's in good condition.

ragecake

Generally unless people are well....sloppy, then it wont get on the mattress...

*shrugs* free bed is a free bed, especially if it's pretty swank