Wills and Step Children

andy5381

Advice please.
I have been with my wife for 20 happy years until the mention of leaving a will.. Problem is, My wife has two children from a previous marriage prior to my meeting her, I took them on as my own however they have had regular contact and remain in close contact with their father. 3 years into our relationship and married we had a child of our own. Problem with the will now is the wife wants to split our assets 3 equal ways whereas I have suggested that her half go to her children -my step children and half go to our child. My reason for thinking is their father who happens to be quite wealthy and has no other children will be leaving his estate his children.
Am I being fair as my wife thinks now after all these years I am a monster to even suggest it.. Please help.

NAR

If the three of them are being well provided for out of your will then why rock the boat? You accepted her kids, so you should treat all the children equally IMHO.
As an aside his wealth may disappear, would you not feel bad then that you had not been fair to the 3 children?

andy5381

Good points NAR, appreciate the honest reply. It looks like I may have to eat humble pie. Was looking for independent advice, thanks.

Raksha

Your assets and your wifes are two separate things. You make your will leaving your assets to who ever you wish. She can leave hers to who ever she wishes.
I have three sons, I have reqUested my assets are divided between the three of them. My OH is father to two of them and he has chosen to leave certain things to each of them and the balance to be divided between his 2 natural sons.

getmore4less

Asumptions coming

THe problem now is you may not be able to undo the damage.

if initialy(or allready) you were planning mirror leave to each other an then the kids(equaly), this won't work now the seeds of doubt have been sown.

She will(might) want to protect her kids from you changing your mind if she goes first.

ThInk long and hard about the senarioes this could get messy.


if you are lucky she wil let you swollow your pride and keep things simple.

RAS

Do you own property as joint tenancy or is it tenants in common?

troubleinparadise

To turn this round the other way slightly, is your wife comfortable with the possible outcome that your joint child will potentially inherit much less than her children from the first marriage, and that in itself might be an "issue" for your joint child?

Of course, there will be many years before this comes into play (fates willing), and by then life and any possible inheritances may be a very different matter.

My step sibling, whom I never lived with, has done rather well from my parents wills; that was their choice, it was their money to leave as they saw fit.... Anything is a bonus!

NAR

Raksha wrote: »

Your assets and your wifes are two separate things.

:rotfl: What's mine is hers and what's hers is hers is the way it normally works! :rotfl:

Fire_Fox

Can I clarify ... your half of the joint assets entirely to your joint child and her half of joint assets entirely to her two children? If so not surprised your wife is unhappy, she is ignoring one of her children and you are ignoring two of yours (either you took them as yours of you did not). However financially I totally see your logic.

If I was your step child I would be upset, not about the money but about being ignored. Is there anything special or meaningful you would want to leave, that would normally be reserved for someone very close or loved, perhaps items you inherited? For me I'd be happy with some of my father's photos, one particular item of my mother's jewellery and an inherited dinner service. Those have memories and meaning.

andy5381

Thank you all for your responses, I have talked it through with my wife now and as NAR suggested, it is impossible for me to equate what the childrens father would be leaving hence a change of heart and decided on equal thirds if circumstances stay the same.
Thanks you all again, you helped me make an decision with your unbiased input.

NAR

Glad to be helpful and I think you have made the right decision, for what its worth. :T