Decision made - BR it is!

wherediditallgo

Oh, I'm really sorry you've had such a bad day today

First of all, most of the CCCS staff are brilliant, so maybe the woman you spoke to was having a bad day herself. That said, she shouldn't take it out on you, & I think it's worth you ringing back & speaking to someone else unless you don't think you can face it. Part of the CCCS policy is (or seems to be) that they're very honest with you about what help they can give you, & in doing that, they also have to be honest with you about what they think you can do for yourself. So they're going to query what they think is unnecessary expenditure or financial commitment, though to you your plans might make sense. You & your OH feel you need your need your privacy at your ages, but from the CCCS point of view (& probably that of your creditors) you should live with your parents even if it means loss of privacy because doing so will mean you'll be able to put a lot more towards your debts. I don't know your circumstances & can't make the decision for you, but I'm a lot older than you (not saying how much ) & if the option of living with my parents again had been open to me it's something I'd have considered with your level of debts (saw them on another post) rather than buy another property. Can you really not face living with them or other relatives for another couple of years while you get yourselves straight? Maybe part of your parents' home could be converted to give you a self-contained flat, so that you feel less like 'the kids still at home'.

I can understand why you feel it's better to buy a property now rather than later, as if you go BR you probably won't be able to get a decent mortgage for at least 6 years. However, perhaps you should be looking at whether you should be buying at all. Your creditors aren't going to be overly sympathetic to the level of payments they might get from an IPA/IVA if they know that, despite your situation, you've gone & bought another property. The OR will ask pretty much the same questions the CCCS are asking, i.e. why take on another property when you're already about to lose one? From the CCCS point of view, it's hard for them to help you if they think you're not prepared to help yourself. If you can't face CCCS again or for a while, there's nothing to stop you ringing one of the other free services like Payplan & National Debtline to see what they have to say. Good luck.

allofadither

Don't feel bad Mel, BR is a very bumpy ride. I had a bad experience with CCCs too but I think it depends it who you speak to (bit like OR's and Banks etc etc etc).

During this time you'll examine every decision you have to make, and that's not a bad thing either. What you decide now will possibly impact on you for the rest of your life. Seek help and guidance where you can, don't dismiss anything out of hand, but in the end take only the advice you want to and only what is best for you.:)

It's the easiest thing in the world for some anonymous person to shout you down, but that's all they are, an anonymous nobody.:p

melf_2

wherediditallgo wrote: »

Oh, I'm really sorry you've had such a bad day today

First of all, most of the CCCS staff are brilliant, so maybe the woman you spoke to was having a bad day herself. That said, she shouldn't take it out on you, & I think it's worth you ringing back & speaking to someone else unless you don't think you can face it. Part of the CCCS policy is (or seems to be) that they're very honest with you about what help they can give you, & in doing that, they also have to be honest with you about what they think you can do for yourself. So they're going to query what they think is unnecessary expenditure or financial commitment, though to you your plans might make sense. You & your OH feel you need your need your privacy at your ages, but from the CCCS point of view (& probably that of your creditors) you should live with your parents even if it means loss of privacy because doing so will mean you'll be able to put a lot more towards your debts. I don't know your circumstances & can't make the decision for you, but I'm a lot older than you (not saying how much ) & if the option of living with my parents again had been open to me it's something I'd have considered with your level of debts (saw them on another post) rather than buy another property. Can you really not face living with them or other relatives for another couple of years while you get yourselves straight? Maybe part of your parents' home could be converted to give you a self-contained flat, so that you feel less like 'the kids still at home'.

I can understand why you feel it's better to buy a property now rather than later, as if you go BR you probably won't be able to get a decent mortgage for at least 6 years. However, perhaps you should be looking at whether you should be buying at all. Your creditors aren't going to be overly sympathetic to the level of payments they might get from an IPA/IVA if they know that, despite your situation, you've gone & bought another property. The OR will ask pretty much the same questions the CCCS are asking, i.e. why take on another property when you're already about to lose one? From the CCCS point of view, it's hard for them to help you if they think you're not prepared to help yourself. If you can't face CCCS again or for a while, there's nothing to stop you ringing one of the other free services like Payplan & National Debtline to see what they have to say. Good luck.

Hi there,

I don't disagree with anything you've said really, the OR is going to ask us why we have bought another property and I can't really justify it can I? I mean I can explain the fact that we have sold a 3 bed semi and paid £48000 back to creditors already and te place we are buying is a one bed terrace and renting would honestly not be much cheaper (although maintenance etc is obviously an issue). I suppose I don't see harm in buying, if the money is going out of the pot every month does it matter if its to a landlord or a mortgage?

With regard to living arrangements overall, we really just cannot stay with parents much longer. Its not just about me and OH at the end of the day, its my parents house too and its crammed with us here. Mum has been seriously ill and really needs her space too. So moving out isn't just about me wanting a house, there really is much more to it than that. There are the problems my mum has and the problems we have had over the past year emotionally. We all really need some space, we haven't bought a big house, one of cheapest on the market.

I hope you understand, believe me if we could stay, if all 4 of us could live together long term we would, we just can't. So much stress on everyone here its not right to stay. I love them and they love me but its not realistic anymore.

melf_2

allofadither wrote: »

Don't feel bad Mel, BR is a very bumpy ride. I had a bad experience with CCCs too but I think it depends it who you speak to (bit like OR's and Banks etc etc etc).

During this time you'll examine every decision you have to make, and that's not a bad thing either. What you decide now will possibly impact on you for the rest of your life. Seek help and guidance where you can, don't dismiss anything out of hand, but in the end take only the advice you want to and only what is best for you.:)

It's the easiest thing in the world for some anonymous person to shout you down, but that's all they are, an anonymous nobody.:p

I think I was just a bt unlucky that the person I spoke to was quite aggressive, maybe it wasn't what she said, more how she said it. I respect that they aren't there to tell me what I want to hear (although hearing "you've just won 1million would be lovely...)

I'm not going to stand up and defend all of my decisions because not all are the right ones and I know that. I'm just on edge these days, poor woman prob didn't mean to proper upset me.

wherediditallgo

melf wrote: »

Hi there,

I don't disagree with anything you've said really, the OR is going to ask us why we have bought another property and I can't really justify it can I? I mean I can explain the fact that we have sold a 3 bed semi and paid £48000 back to creditors already and te place we are buying is a one bed terrace and renting would honestly not be much cheaper (although maintenance etc is obviously an issue). I suppose I don't see harm in buying, if the money is going out of the pot every month does it matter if its to a landlord or a mortgage?

With regard to living arrangements overall, we really just cannot stay with parents much longer. Its not just about me and OH at the end of the day, its my parents house too and its crammed with us here. Mum has been seriously ill and really needs her space too. So moving out isn't just about me wanting a house, there really is much more to it than that. There are the problems my mum has and the problems we have had over the past year emotionally. We all really need some space, we haven't bought a big house, one of cheapest on the market.

I hope you understand, believe me if we could stay, if all 4 of us could live together long term we would, we just can't. So much stress on everyone here its not right to stay. I love them and they love me but its not realistic anymore.

Oh, I do understand, honestly. I think you need to hammer the above points home to CCCS & any other debt advice organisation you deal with, as well as the OR, otherwise they will think that you're adding to your problems instead of trying to reduce them. Unfortunately, you're in a situation of damned if you do & damned if you don't, so once you're made the decision you believe is best for you, stick with that.