How do you stop yourself getting down

Moorhen

I agree with finding time to do something small for yourself, a cup of tea in peace and quiet works wonders sometimes or maybe listening to a favourite piece of music.
I quite often feel that i am constantly running round to catch myself up and this was even harder when the children were little (they're all teenagers now which brings its own problems).
I also agree with all the posters that say that talking to someone helps a lot, if you have no-one nearby who fits the bill then come on here and have a chat.

Good luck and i hope that you begin to feel better soon, it might be worth remembering that we are now into the lightest 6 month of the year even though the weather is still wintery.:)

miaoww

not really sure if this helps but heart strings tugged when your said about throwing money at things - money definately doesnt buy happiness trust me i know i used to think spending money buying nice things did until i lost my job nad couldnt keep up payments on all the store cards and loans and ended up having to go bancrupt but now 4-5 years on its the best thing that happened to me - i now see the real value in things like just going for a walk in the woods with the family and i havent paid full price for anything ive needed since ! my main best way outta depression tho is get out and do some exercise i go boxing and beat the crap outta the punch bag at the gym if im really stressed or just a jog or run - i know weathers crap but have hubby run a bath and a glass of wine for when u get back u will feel better for it - or grab all your friends around one of your houses and have a good !!!!! about life in general.
ever the optimist - theres always someone worse off be grateful for what your have even if it does need organising and set your own standards - how happy really are the people that spend all day cleaning their house nad living the delusional 'perfect' life - everything isnt as it seems a lot of people arent as happy as they make out.
Thats me vented but hope it helps u a bit

[Deleted User]

Oh Honey you poor thing, I think we have all been in the black hole that seems to be never ending.
Kids? unless its chucking it down turn them out in the garden to sort their own troubles out

A.this gives you 10 minutes at least of peace and quiet when you can have a cuppa and think logically.No one can think properly if kids are yelling and shouting at each other .
You are the parent and as such are entitled to a bit of 'me' time

Money : well can't do a great deal about that as everyone I know seems to be stony broke at the moment .

As for clutter well a couple of large black bags and a dollop of ruthlessness might help with that,or give one to each of the kids as see who can collect the most clutter for binning,kids like to be competitive and it will keep them amused for ten minutes at least and you have a precious bit of 'me' time.

For a laugh if you live near a shop which sells birthday cards the cheapest smile I know is to pop in and read some You don't have to buy just read a couple :)

I know the weather is foul at the moment and for me at least getting out and about is a bit daft as I have to use a stick and when its icy I go down like a sack of spuds and the earth moves for close neighbours :) (I am a large lady ,or as my youngest DGS says 'Cuddly') plus I'm not a 'Weeble' so I don't just roll and pop up again

So today I shall be getting some baking bits out and will use this morning for baking.This afternoon I shall have my wireless on and will have my feet up doing some knitting or maybe finish off my library book.
I also need to re-do my
'To-Do' list on which I list in order of importance all the jobs I want to get done this week with luck.

As they get done I tick them off, and pat myself mentally on the back and have another cuppa (lots of tea and coffee drunk in my house):D

I think we can all feel where you are at the moment and it is hard to 'jolly' yourself out of it.

The bad gloomy weather doesn't help as I think its getting us all down a bit.

If all else fails come on here and have a good rant we will all listen and send you a virtual 'There, There'
Life can be a bummer at times, but honey I have had the Grim Reaper knock on my door,:( and I managed to tell him to bu$$er off.:D

Fingers crossed in May I see the consultant for the last time, and he will sign me off after five years of remission from breast cancer.At the time when I was diagnosed I hadn't long started to live my life again after losing my late OH, and it seemed as though the Gods were conspiring against me. But here I am 5 years later ,older, maybe not as agile as I once was, but alive and kicking, and ready to do battle with what ever comes along
So chin up chicken and onwards and upwards
Love from JackieO xxx
the daft old bat in North Kent :rotfl::rotfl:

Mazzarati2000

Thank you op, for starting this thread. I'm really sorry to hear you're having a tough time. Some great posts here, hopefully knowing there are others in a similar boat, and you're not alone might ease things even slightly, I know that reading your thread has for me.Jackie O, thank you for being an inspiration in general, and specifically this morning, reading of your to do list, has spurred me on to do something similar..I've done a post it note of to-do's per room, and stuck it up in each room this morning. Looking forward to crossing things off and seeing what I have achieved today in black and white. Sometimes focusing on the little things really does help....baby steps and all that! Who knows, if I'm lucky OH might even pick a task or two when he gets in..now that they're looking at us in each room! Hugs to all who need them today. This really is a lovely community that we have on here! X

Eenymeeny

Half an hour on here with my feet up and a cup of tea always helps. As others have said, we have a lovely group of people on here that I am glad to think of as friends. You can say what you like on here, there's always some one who's been through it, understands, can offer some advice or a friendly word.
I've just spent best part of the morning clearing out a big cupboard, spotify belting out a selection of my kind of music, wearing a daft hat that I came across, which has now gone into the dressing up bag that I pass on for my nephew and niece. Basically, do whatever makes you happy, sometimes just a little bit of time on your own can do it. I also pulled the curtains right back to allow as much daylight in as possible, just thought, I hope the neighbours couldn't see me! oh well, never mind..;)
Sing when you can and get out into the daylight as much as possible. I always find that helps me. (You can't be miserable and sing at the same time!)
I hope that it helps to know that you're not alone, in a few weeks we'll all be enjoying the new growth around us and wondering what we were moaning about!
We're all rooting for you:grouphug:

sjprmc01

Thanks again people, and keep the stories of your own experiences coming, I think it is helpful, indeed to know you aren't the only one feeling pants!

JACKIE O, I feel I shouldn't have the right to complain, or feel down after your post. But no matter how good or bad someone has things, its still difficult to pull yourself out of a downward spiral

This morning t work I ran off to the toilets for a bit of a weep for no real reason, everything just felt so 'black' but after a few mins I pulled myself together and faced the rest of the day

I got OH to come and collect me from work, I'd normally not be in till after 11 with the bus, and although we couldn't really afford the petrol for it and it was keeping the girls up late, I got him to pick me up! There's a lot to be said for being home at 9.30 instead of 11-11.30. And now I'm sat watching the day after tomorrow! So feel a little more sane!

Eenymeeny

I logged on before bedtime just to see how you are as you were on my mind. Thanks for the update. I'm so pleased that you decided to get a lift home, I'm sure that your family enjoyed you having a little relax time with them and it's well worth the petrol money in my opinion. I hope that tomorrow is better for you. Nite nite

[Deleted User]

Quote:<<JACKIE O, I feel I shouldn't have the right to complain, or feel down after your post. But no matter how good or bad someone has things, its still difficult to pull yourself out of a downward spiral>>

Hi there why shouldn't you feel down and blue honey, you don't need though have a 'right' about it. You feel cheesed off with life, and things feel like they have got on top of you, it happens to us all at some point or other.
These folk that say 'pull yourself together' maybe haven't felt that 'black dog on your back' quite as strongly, but don't feel that you won't feel better

Going home last night was a great idea, and bu$$er the petrol, :)being with the ones you love, and who love you is more important.You have an OH who obviously loves you dearly, and family who care and that worth more than gold to most folk.

When I was diagnosed at first I thought 'Why me' then the next thought was 'Why not me'. I'm no one special its just the luck of the draw. But I have been very lucky and survived helped by my two DDs and grandchildren whom I adore.
It also helps to have a decent sense of the absurd, and when all my hair fell out I needed it :rotfl:My grandchildren didn't bat an eyelid they sat on my lap and smothered the top of my bald head in moisterising cream about 3" thick until I looked like a big ice cream cornet.The boys were convinced it would make the hair come back. We all sat in howls of laughter at how dappy I looked with all this jollop on my head,but it cheered us all up

Well it did return and better still it came back curly which was a bonus for me after well over 60+ years of board-straight hair :), and just as thick and now when I look back on those dark days it seems almost unreal and something I had dreamed about .

You will too at some point look back and think 'what did I worry about, why was I so sad'. But you will get through these bad dark days and come out in the sun again.

I am looking out of my window and the sky is grey and full of snow ,its cold and white everywhere but I can see down in a pot in the garden a couple of small bulbs that have poked through the gloomy morning and two small patches of yellow where they are trying to come out, and that is what I think grey, nasty winter can sometimes tell us .No matter how bad you feel somewhere there is a bit of bright, struggling to come out.I love seeing the bulbs come up its Nature's way of sticking two fingers up at all the horrible dark weather, and saying no matter what you do, we can survive all of this and bloom again.
Sounds a bit airy-fairy doesn't it, but I don't mean it too.I am the most grounded person you could wish to meet, but sometimes perhaps I just see things a little differently Maybe its my age (which is ...errr shall we say getting on a bit) or just that I always try to see the bright side of the worst scenario.
So this morning give all your family a hug and tell them how much you appreciate them and love them, and maybe just try a small smile at something silly,you never know you could even have turned the corner just by coming home early last night
I wish you all the very best and do hope that in time you too will see the flowers, and the sun will come out and shine on you and yours
Love and best wishes
JackieO in a dark and snowy Kent xxx

craigywv

great post jackieo xxx

angelpye

Down days are definitely something I have struggled with - sometimes down months! Life is hard is what I have come to accept but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy it too. I have extreme challenges with my dd1 and this can be so disabling in all areas of my life but somehow I get through it and she will do the tiniest kindness and I remember and hope again.
I have a few 'rules' for myself that I try to stick to each day like:
Kiss and hug my children and ask how they slept every morning (seems obvious but I went autopilot for a while)
Start the day with clean kitchen and bathroom (makes huge difference to me)
Play music and for the length of an album declutter/tidy after children
Shower every day, attention to my hair and clothes I pick (again makes a huge difference)
Plan and make good meals
One to one time each day with both girls talking about them positively
Remember to praise and hug them
Film night once a week with dd1
Baking once a week with dd2
Have a trip, day out or evening in planned to look forward to
Call someone I can talk to when in despair
Set one goal at a time about the home
Get out of the house at least once a day - kids need to run, I need air (dd2 always easier if had been out)
I know there are days that I don't stick to this but I also know these days are much less. I cry less and less and because I make the conscious effort to give them attention (even when I don't feel like it, sounds awful) the kids behave much better. And I do love them so want them to feel that.

Sounds like the travelling is a real problem - any options to change job? I know I would find it difficult too. Obviously retraining mind to see it as your time ie reading, portable DVD player etc could reclaim some of that time but it is long. Maybe hubby could pick you up once a week to take the edge off?

Just keep swimming is my favourite phrase and I hope you do