Children Catching the Bus

silvercar

Up until this month, my mum has been doing this on her own for the last 6 months and she has approached my son's mum to help with collecting him from football (they don't drive but busses are available, lots of family members drive and ferry them about all the time) but nothing ever comes of it so we felt this was an alternative solution if they can't be bothered to have him picked up.

If it seems reasonable to you, yet DS's Mum doesn't want to allow it, who rules?

Savvy_Sue

silvercar wrote: »

If it seems reasonable to you, yet DS's Mum doesn't want to allow it, who rules?

We don't know yet if the OP's DS's mum will allow it or not.

However, one thought, if the buses are always very busy at that time, is it worth getting a quick bite to eat / hot drink before heading to the bus? I don't know if the concessions at the footie ground stay open after the game, but that would allow the queue to leave the car park to dissipate and the queues at the bus to die down too.

Although it's a moot point whether the lad would be safer on a very busy bus or a quieter one ...

FBaby

If I recall from previous posts, your mum and ex have quite a good communication going. Would it be better if the suggestion came from your mum rather than you?

I have to say, i think your son is very lucky. You go a much longer way than many dads do and your wife is very understanding, as well as your step daughters very welcoming. I really hope in time he can see this and appreciate his new family. I expect it might take a bit longer, but he will one day see all what his family does to make him happy.

JimmyTheWig

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

if the buses are always very busy at that time, is it worth getting a quick bite to eat / hot drink before heading to the bus?

Then they'd be just as late home as if they dropped him off.

Dunroamin

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

We don't know yet if the OP's DS's mum will allow it or not.

However, one thought, if the buses are always very busy at that time, is it worth getting a quick bite to eat / hot drink before heading to the bus? I don't know if the concessions at the footie ground stay open after the game, but that would allow the queue to leave the car park to dissipate and the queues at the bus to die down too.

Although it's a moot point whether the lad would be safer on a very busy bus or a quieter one ...

Doesn't that imply that buses are intrinsically unsafe?

System

Very interesting thread, as we are just starting our 'chunks of independence' with our youngest child (just turned 11)
I hate using the bus as unfortunately there are always loud, smelly and frankly scary people on them!
I don't let my youngest 2 travel alone, but know that they need to be more independent and less reliant on the parental taxi service.
I can't really give the OP any advice as, although we live fairly near a major football ground, rivalries run very deep and the innocent bystander can be caught up in the tension :-( and most people give the area a wide berth on match day.

Savvy_Sue

Dunroamin wrote: »

Doesn't that imply that buses are intrinsically unsafe?

I wasn't trying to suggest that ...

I personally wouldn't want to be on a bus crowded with football supporters, although I have no reason to suspect I'd be at any more risk than on an empty bus.

Safety is always relative, and can change suddenly, don't you think?

I was listening to Woman's Hour this morning, with a discussion involving some school girls who live near that bus stabbing. One of them said she'd been on the top deck of a bus with some friends, and when she got off there were only a couple of other people up there, and she didn't feel safe so she went downstairs, and as they followed her down she decided to get off and get her mum to pick her up.

Which I couldn't quite follow: I'd have sat as close as possible to the driver, which I would have thought would be safer than getting off and hanging about on the streets.

My point is that the OP needs to think through the different possible scenarios, and work out what possible responses there are, and what advantages and disadvantages each one has. But at the same time, you point out that these things very rarely happen.

duchy

Could this be that Mum doesn't see why she needs to be involved in any of the ferrying around on "Dad days" ?

It seems to me that this may be the issue. Dad and Granny have met grandson and brought him back and forth but no longer want the extra travelling. Mum has her free time whilst son is at footie and is now expected to give up HER free time because Dad and Granny don't want to see him home anymore ?

Has anyone asked Mum what she thinks should happen ?

silvercar

duchy wrote: »

Could this be that Mum doesn't see why she needs to be involved in any of the ferrying around on "Dad days" ?

It seems to me that this may be the issue. Dad and Granny have met grandson and brought him back and forth but no longer want the extra travelling. Mum has her free time whilst son is at footie and is now expected to give up HER free time because Dad and Granny don't want to see him home anymore ?

Has anyone asked Mum what she thinks should happen ?

That is what I was hinting at. If Mum says that she doesn't want kid travelling home alone, does that mean Dad/ Gran must deliver him home or does that mean Mum has to go and get him? Or does Dad say to Mum, if you don't like it then you come and get him. So on an allocated "Dad day" who calls the tune?

jellyhead

silvercar wrote: »

That is what I was hinting at. If Mum says that she doesn't want kid travelling home alone, does that mean Dad/ Gran must deliver him home or does that mean Mum has to go and get him? Or does Dad say to Mum, if you don't like it then you come and get him. So on an allocated "Dad day" who calls the tune?

Perhaps on an allocated 'dad' day Dad can make the decision regarding transport?