Kicking !!!! and loving life in 2013 :)

zigmeister

Thank you so much for the welcomes!

I'm moving to Liverpool, pretty much. Not a clue how far that is from the rest of you Northern girls but it's gotta be closer than Somerset! Aw Tink, you'll just have further to travel for the not-yet-planned MSE meet that's all Cinny, some MSE days are def on the cards!

Thank you Tink for the advice, I definitely plan on applying for JSA, and will look into supply teaching too (if I can't find a job immediately). I think the combination of being unsure about being a teacher and nerves from being out the classroom for so long is stopping me a bit though.

My OH has just started working with children with ADHD. He loves it and is also considering a masters degree alongside. He has so much focus and I feel like a right drifter at the moment when it comes to my career.

zigmeister

Be warned - stop reading now if you don't want emotional rambling!

I've spent the last maybe 9 months living with my OH, then travelling and being together 24/7. But now we're back and he's up North and I'm down South sorting out all my rubbish I'm struggling a bit. We talk throughout the day and it's ok, I can cope without him, but I just feel like I'm better when he's here. And when he's not here I start getting ridiculously emotional and girly and start telling him how I can't wait to have a family with him etc (don't worry, we have spoke about it, I'm not that scary!) and he says he's excited too but I think he's just saying that to be nice. I just feel like there's loads I wanna say and it just comes out in a big jumble and really all I wanna say is how much he means to me.

My family are hard work, and he's the one who will squeeze my hand under the table when I'm struggling, defend me when they're attacking me, give me encouragement to stand up for myself, tell me to calm down when I'm doing it wrong. He's just there. And today everything got on top of me and I ended up sobbing my heart out and the one person I needed wasn't there, and it sucked. I can't wait to be further away from my family right now.

I never imagined in a million years I would find a guy who can make me feel so special just by smiling at me from across the room, massaging my shoulders if I'm washing up, saying 'good morning/night beautiful', saying I look great when I have a rugby jersey on and no make up, gets excited with me when I show him some kitchen equipment. He makes me feel like part of a team. Do you ever feel like you don't deserve to be this happy? Like it's all too good and something's bound to happen? I didn't go to Australia looking for a guy, but I feel so lucky to have found this one. I am a realist though, I know it's only been a year and it won't always feel this perfect but we've had struggles already and it just made us stronger. I dunno. I need to get a grip I think.

Cinny91

Aww, Ziggly!

It's perfectly normal to feel that way! Your family are probably just worried about you, and going about expressing it in completely the wrong way. When my Sister decided she was moving away she got a lot of negative backlash from other family members until they came around to the idea. Just focus all your energy on getting yourself ready for the move. They might come around, they might not. But if they don't you'll soon be far enough from the situation for it not to really be a big issue!

When it comes to your OH, have you tried setting up skype dates? My Sister and her OH have set times everyday when they skype. Obviously there's 6000 miles between them so skyping everyday is pretty essential to them - but maybe you could do every other day or something. They also do silly challenges like making each other presents in a certain budget, or sometimes just surprise each other with little presents in the post. They also do a "points" game, where they dare each other to do things for certain points, and then they can redeem the points when they're together. I haven't asked what they do or what the points are for because I probably don't want to know the answer :eek: But it's just ways of feeling like you're doing things together even when you're hours apart. (smutty or not!)

LDRs are hard but they're worth it, and you know where to get me if you ever want to talk or just want to get some of yo feels off your chest Keep your chin up missy xx

Birdie85

Aw Zig! Firstly, you do deserve to be happy so enjoy it and don't question it!

When are you moving up to Liverpool? Get the date circled on your calendar and mark off the days, it'll be here before you know it!

Sorry you're struggling though, it's awful when you start to sob and you can't stop and all you need is a hug that isn't available. Is there a cheap/easy way for you to see each other at the weekend? Maybe Megabus it to a mid-point and stay in a cheapo Premier Inn?

Hope you're feeling a little less emotional now, and you've had a decent sleep after being awake at such a crazy time!

Oh and BTW, I don't class Liverpool as 'North'! Where we live, anything south of Leeds ain't the real North! :rotfl:

Cinny91

Birdie85 wrote: »

Oh and BTW, I don't class Liverpool as 'North'! Where we live, anything south of Leeds ain't the real North! :rotfl:

I ain't the real North You'll be about 2 hours from me though, depending what part of Liverpewel you move too Much better than before!

We really need to get a meet up together with the threadies. I can't even remember how long ago the last one was? I just know I wasn't there!

zigmeister

Thank you girls for not making me feel like a complete weirdo I think I should be banned from posting when it's 4am and I'm emotional

My family have noticed a change in me since I got back (more confident and taking less rubbish off people really) but my Mum seems to be taking it particularly hard. She said that I've changed and she feels like she's lost something. That wasn't too nice to hear tbh! I think it's because I used to let her get away with stuff and now I'm being stronger. I think that's it anyway. I hope so.

At the moment I'm back living with my Nan and although she is absolutely lovely, I feel like a kid again. She has downsized while I was away and I am on a sofabed in their spare room trying to sort out all my stuff. It's a mess and she hates it. I was popping up North the other weekend so I was up until 2am making sure everything was tidy. In the morning she asked why I was up so late. I told her, and she said she was reading that teenagers need their sleep. I was like 'that's great, but I'm not a teenager' and she said I am because of how I act. !!!!!!?!

It's so frustrating. I went to the other side of the world on my own, found a job, somewhere to live, and stayed there for a year. Yet I'm a teenager who needs to be told when to go to bed and how to pack her weekend bag. I've been travelling for 4 months, packing my bag every 3 days, I think I can manage!! :mad:

Your sister and her OH sound really cute Cinny. I'm glad your family came around to her moving. It's stressful making decisions when everyone has an opinion and makes it known!

I'm moving up to Liverpool in April, it's really not that long to wait, it just feels like an age when every day I'm stressed and need a hug!

Ha, not the 'real North'! It's 'up North' for me coming from down here! 2 hours is gotta be better than 5+ hours though Definitely need to arrange a MSE meet up at some point

Another epic long post..

Birdie85

Oh dear, living arrangements do not sound ideal right now! At least it's only for a little while longer... parents/grandparents sometimes can struggle with the idea of us growing up (and away) from them and will do and say what they can to make us regress! Just keep reminding yourself that it's only for a little while!

Liverpool is only 2ish hours away from me too, Manchester's probably a good inbetweeny spot for everyone.

poddle911

Zig, I'm pretty sure Liverpool is up North too

I'm off to Hull over Easter - not very glam by all accounts, but definitely proper North, right...?

I thought your emotional 4am post was really lovely - obviously not that you're struggling without your OH, but it made me feel all fuzzy inside when you talked about how he makes you feel - proper lovely! You absolutely deserve to be happy Not long til April - keep your chin up!

This probably doesn't help, but I think it's really difficult to escape your childhood 'role' in the family - I know I felt exactly the same at 30 and planning a wedding, but still ending up feeling like the sulky, spoilt baby of the family. Sometimes I feel like I'm being judged on my behaviour at 14 - admittedly not my finest hour! - and nothing I've done in the past however many years has had any impact!

So, anyway I think I know how frustrating it is, but just remember all the stuff you said in your first post - you've had an amazing year and you have changed and it's all good!

Stay strong, focus on moving in with your lovely man very soon, but try not to burn any bridges - I reckon your family will come round the more they see the "new you".

(Eek, sorry if that got a bit self-help!)

Btw, I totally agree with you on Meredith being annoying! And also, she looked far too old to be an intern - she's always looked about ten years older than everyone else! Ah I loved the first few seasons of Grey's I still watch it, but it does get a bit dull and weird in places - there's a musical episode!!

Soz to ramble on your thread

ETA: Cross-posted with Birdie who put it far more succinctly than I did - and she's right! Off to find coffee and a biscuit...

Dinah93

Cinny91 wrote: »

We really need to get a meet up together with the threadies. I can't even remember how long ago the last one was? I just know I wasn't there!

Birdie85 wrote: »

Liverpool is only 2ish hours away from me too, Manchester's probably a good inbetweeny spot for everyone.

Looking at a map I was thinking maybe Leeds? It seems to be about in the middle for Zig, Tete and I who are furthest apart, and a bit closer for yourself and Cinny. Manchester is nearly 3 hours for us which is too long to have Grace in the car without a decent stop in the middle, so only one of us would be able to come, or £51 for a train ticket. I tentatively suggest the 4th, 5th, 11th or 12th May, give Zig some time to settle in up North (I'm with you Birdie, we're verging on the Midlands here!) and hopefully for the weather to improve. Let me know your thoughts girlies.

Birdie85

Leeds suits me (although driving around there scares the bejeezus out of me, even my satnav gets lost! Might have to take the train! ) and 11/12th May is good too.