update on step daughter

glitter_fairy

For thos who read my last post you will remember I had just found out i had an 18 year old step daughter. We all went away for the wekend and it was lovely, really chilled out just getting to know each other.

We have met up with her mum a few times now and have come to a kind of peace, but not sure how long it will last.

I have met one of her sisters who seems lovely too.

She is moving in with us next week as we have more space which will be interesting as it will be big changes for all of us. She is not used to living in our type of family and we are not used to having teens in the house.

She has really clicked with her dad, they both have the same silly sense of hummer and play stupid jokes on each other all the time.

She is also going back to college to continue with her training, we are both in the beauty industry so its given us a starting point and im trying to help her in her career.

Its not been all good though my husband hates her boyfriend as he treats her badly, our son isnt too keen on her, as he hates any sort of change.

meritaten

Thanks for the update glitterfairy - I remember your thread.
its good that you seemed to get on well!
OK - the boyfriend is an issue - but, the more family take against him the more she will defend him - and she is 18 so I would advise 'keep mouths shut and be prepared to pick up the pieces'.

your son is another matter - he needs help to accept this,
If I was his counsellor I would be asking 'Do you dislike this person'?
'Do you think she is 'usurping' your place in the family?'. 'Is she getting too much attention?' Its almost as if there is a new baby in the family - he may feel a bit left out?

FatVonD

I hope it all works out for you, step daughter's are great (especially if you only have boys yourself!)

glitter_fairy

meritaten wrote: »

Thanks for the update glitterfairy - I remember your thread.
its good that you seemed to get on well!
OK - the boyfriend is an issue - but, the more family take against him the more she will defend him - and she is 18 so I would advise 'keep mouths shut and be prepared to pick up the pieces'.

your son is another matter - he needs help to accept this,
If I was his counsellor I would be asking 'Do you dislike this person'?
'Do you think she is 'usurping' your place in the family?'. 'Is she getting too much attention?' Its almost as if there is a new baby in the family - he may feel a bit left out?

Yeah I am worried about my son, been having a chat, he is quite quite while both girls are very loud so he is feeling a bit left out so we are going to make a real effort to make sure he is feeling secure and loved.

Its so hard trying to keep everyone happy.

The boyfriend is an issue because he treats her so badly and my husband is very protective. He has agreed to try and calm down a bit though.

meritaten

just keep making son feel loved and valued hun - he has a special place in your life and as long as he knows that he will accept the 'newcomer'.
you cannot keep 'everybody' happy 'all' of the time! believe me - even amongst my kids I have to be careful to not show favouritism! middle son seems to have an extra jealousy gene!
parents have to be expert jugglers! lol
its great that your oh has seen the sense of not getting too 'protective', that could be a minefield if he got too 'parental' at this stage. I am sure he wouldn't want that.
good luck hun - you sound very level headed and I think you will keep the situation under control.