Wife is leaving me.

PeterJames123

Hi All,

After 10 years my wife has this morning decided to leave me. She has 3 text affairs and although I have forgiven her over the years she is just not content and never happy. She has decided to take our 4 year old daughter out of our marital home and find a flat close by. She is giving me access to her whenever I want 50/50 and I guess that is the only good thing to come out of this.

I now am left in our home and was wondering if there are any benefits available to me to help me live in my home as I simply can't afford it on my own. I want to keep it for my daughter’s sake as room is here, she grew up here and I have invested so much into my home.

I am currently earning around £650 pcm and also trying to start my own business. The mortgage is £500 so I really am going to be struggling. I would love some help.

Many Thanks [FONT=&quot][/FONT]

heartbreak_star

Hi there,

Sorry to hear about this situation. Maybe posting on the Benefits & Tax Credits section of the board might help.

Hope you get sorted.

HBS x

RAS

hi

Can you take a lodger?

If not, you need to sell the house and split any equity. If you rent and are still under 35, you would only be allowed to use the shared room rate in assessing your right to benefits. That might top your income up to circa £800 (depends on your area) but you would still have to pay your wife £97 per month CSA.

Things are going to be every very tight.

bodmil

Children are very adaptable and I'msure your daughter would prefer a different room in a house where Dad is stress free and able to afford instead of struggling every month.

Perhaps take on some part time work around your business hours to help bring things up to a liveable standard or put the business on the back burner until you sort things out.

flashnazia

PeterJames123 wrote: »

Hi All,

After 10 years my wife has this morning decided to leave me. She has 3 text affairs and although I have forgiven her over the years she is just not content and never happy. She has decided to take our 4 year old daughter out of our marital home and find a flat close by. She is giving me access to her whenever I want 50/50 and I guess that is the only good thing to come out of this.

I now am left in our home and was wondering if there are any benefits available to me to help me live in my home as I simply can't afford it on my own. I want to keep it for my daughter’s sake as room is here, she grew up here and I have invested so much into my home.

I am currently earning around £650 pcm and also trying to start my own business. The mortgage is £500 so I really am going to be struggling. I would love some help.

Many Thanks

Oh dear. Is it too late to try counselling?

19lottie82

There is only 1 set of child related benefits, which will be awarded to the resident parent (sounds like it will be your wife, as she has taken your DD with her).

You will only be able to claim benefits for a single person.
Given that you earn £650 a month, you might be able to claim a little bit, but it prob won't be much.

Try a benefits calculator online to get an exact figure.

Can you not look for a f/t job that pays you better wage? I appreciate it may not be what you want to do, but you may not have much choice at the moment. Or get a lodger to help pay the bills?

Is there any equity in the property? If so, your wife will prob be entitled to half of it, so could more than likely get a legal order forcing you to sell (unless you can buy her out, which I'm guessing you can't)

Sorry if this isn't what you want to hear at the moment

19lottie82

PeterJames123 wrote: »

She has decided to take our 4 year old daughter out of our marital home and find a flat close by. She is giving me access to her whenever I want 50/50 and I guess that is the only good thing to come out of this.

I now am left in our home and was wondering if there are any benefits available to me to help me live in my home as I simply can't afford it on my own. I want to keep it for my daughter’s sake as room is here, she grew up here and I have invested so much into my home.

Another idea would be, can your wife and DD not stay in the house? Maybe you could afford a smaller place.

I know it's not ideal, but then your DD might be able to keep on living in her family home, and can visit you in your new (and more affordable home)

System

Or the more obvious solution would be that the OP stays in the house with the daughter. That way he would be able to have all the benefits normally associated with that arrangement

19lottie82

!!!!!! wrote: »

Or the more obvious solution would be that the OP stays in the house with the daughter. That way he would be able to have all the benefits normally associated with that arrangement

Yes, in an ideal world, but if the mother has taken the daughter with her, it isn't likely she will just agree to that is it?
Fighting her could be very costly and traumatic for the daughter.

PeterJames123

She is quite happy for her name to be taken off the mortgage provided I pay her £8k which is what she initially paid for solicitors fees and deposit, when we purchased the house. I paid £10k for the furnishings and so forth.

I have the money saved up and can pay her off but would the bank allow me to remove her from the mortgage deeds? Or do I need to apply for the mortgage again as when we first purchased the house I was earning 22k and getting the mortgage was not an issue.
[FONT=&quot][/FONT]

19lottie82

PeterJames123 wrote: »

She is quite happy for her name to be taken off the mortgage provided I pay her £8k which is what she initially paid for solicitors fees and deposit, when we purchased the house. I paid £10k for the furnishings and so forth.

I have the money saved up and can pay her off but would the bank allow me to remove her from the mortgage deeds? Or do I need to apply for the mortgage again as when we first purchased the house I was earning 22k and getting the mortgage was not an issue.

You will need to re apply for a mortgage in your name only. If you don't earn enough you will be rejected and they won't remove your wifes name form the mortgage.

Again, can you not look for a FT job, that would enable you to do this?