Does my dd have autism?

Tea-and-Cake_3

My 5yo dd has very strange behaviour at times, she doesn't play properly with other children and they seem to avoid her because she'll burst in on what they're doing and start spoiling things and she has never played in a conventional sense - she doesn't seem to know how. She will go up to other children and try to hold their hand and can't tell that they really do not want her to do this. She can't seem to read people and doesn't understand when my oh and me try to explain it to her. She needs to have a certain plate and her food needs to be separate, she gets hysterical if simple things don't go her way like the seatbelt won't click in, she'll have a complete meltdown crying and screaming, she doesn't seem to have any empathy when she sees someone is hurt. I could go on but you get the idea. There have been signs/classic symptoms her whole life but I have avoided facing up to it because sometimes she is completely calm, rational, normal and always looks me in the eye . She is too intense/extroverted socially rather than withdrawn and introverted.so I am very confused.

Could this be autism? Can children with an ASD appear normal sometimes?

marisco_2

Some of the behaviours you advise us of could be seen in a child with autism. However they can also be seen in children of your daughters age who haven't got greatly developed social skills and dont have autism.

Have her teachers at school raised any concerns? Does she cope well in a classroom environment and mix well with her classmates?

How is her speach? When you ask her questions does she answer fully or look at you as if to say 'why whould I answer that, surely you know the answer'. Does she talk or read with an american accent?

keep_flyin

Nobody here can tell by reading what you have written if your child has Autism. But you have enough concerns to warrent asking for a medical opinion on the matter. You need to go to your GP with a list of your concerns (as you have written here) and say to them that you have these concerns and could they refer you to an appropriate service in your area as you are noticing more differences between your DD and her peers. I would not say you suspect Autism, just list the behaviours that mark her as different.

My DS has ASD, when he was diagnosed people seeemed suprised that he has the diagnosis until they thought about it. When he is secure in his environment or he is trying to fit it he seems totally "normal". He is not however, he will always have Autism.

I hope this makes sense and that you get the support you need to let your DD grow up happy and secure in her environment.

Tea-and-Cake_3

marisco wrote: »

Some of the behaviours you advise us of could be seen in a child with autism. However they can also be seen in children of her age who haven't got greatly developed social skills and dont have autism.

Have her teachers at school raised any concerns? No, she is doing well academically, is in fact ahead with reading Does she cope well in a classroom environment and mix well with her classmates? She copes fine but no-one wants to play with her, she hasn't made a best friend.

How is her speach? It was delayed and she used to see a speech therapist and would repeat what people were saying to her. When you ask her questions does she answer fully or look at you as if to say 'why whould I answer that, surely you know the answer'. She doesn't like ansering qyestions Does she talk or read with an american accent?no

I will be taking her to the gp if it will be of benefit to her, I don't want her labelled if it will be of no good to her.

marisco_2

Personally I would have a chat with your daughters school before seeing your gp. They have very close contact with her day in and day out and will have been observing her closely. Either they will be able to put your mind at rest, or they can discuss areas where they have concerns and these could be raised as part of your discussion with your gp if necessary.

Lots of reception classes do a weekly circle time and work on all manner of social skills with the children. She will be learning without even realising it how to mix with her peers. The teacher may even be able to arrange a buddy system so as a little group of kids are available to play with her at morning break and lunch. Either from her own class or higher year groups.

As your daughter is 5, then she has only been at school since September. If the whole class are new to her it can take time to make friends. How did she get on at nursery? Is she an only child or does she have siblings to mix with? How much socialising does she do outside of school with other children?

Mrs_Bones

Tea-and-Cake wrote: »

I will be taking her to the gp if it will be of benefit to her, I don't want her labelled if it will be of no good to her.

This is just my personal opinion so feel free to ignore but I think you've got enough reasons to ask for a medical opinion. If they don't think it applies then there is no harm done, all children are individuals and maybe she's just developing at a different rate to some of the children around her. Faster in the academic sense and slower in a social sense.

On the other hand if she is diagnose then in the long term it will be best to know. I don't like this current idea of looking at a diagnoses as a bad label, it's just knowledge and knowing is better than not. Autism isn't bad it's just different. We are all individuals and she'll developed her own personality no matter what. In the end we all end up with labels of one sort of another in life it doesn't change who we are. Once you know something you can learn how to cope and develop understandings of any difficulties.

I didn't learn I had aspergers until later on in life, females show different traits to males and can be harder to diagnose. Looking back it wouldn't have made much difference to me if my parents had found out by the time I was 5 and in truth it doesn't make a great deal of difference to me now in my 40's as I've become sort of set in my ways, but I now have much more understanding of things that happened in my life and I think my teenage and early adult years could have been made so much easier if I had known sooner and I would have been saved some of the difficulties I went through.

meritaten

I think I would ask for her to be seen by a psychiatrist. It can take ages though hun depending on where you live. I don't want to diagnose either - but what you describe would worry me and I would want it investigated.

pigpen

Tea-and-Cake wrote: »

My 5yo dd has very strange behaviour at times, she doesn't play properly with other children and they seem to avoid her because she'll burst in on what they're doing and start spoiling things and she has never played in a conventional sense - she doesn't seem to know how.

How much times has she spent with other children? Has she ever got to know other children other than a few weeks here or there?

She will go up to other children and try to hold their hand and can't tell that they really do not want her to do this.

So approach other children with her and introduce her and stay and play with them so she can learn cues from you

She can't seem to read people and doesn't understand when my oh and me try to explain it to her.

Of course not.. she is 5 not 20!


She needs to have a certain plate and her food needs to be separate, she gets hysterical if simple things don't go her way like the seatbelt won't click in, she'll have a complete meltdown crying and screaming,

I do that too.. as do several of my children

she doesn't seem to have any empathy when she sees someone is hurt.

They don't learn empathy until around aged 8

I could go on but you get the idea. There have been signs/classic symptoms her whole life but I have avoided facing up to it because sometimes she is completely calm, rational, normal and always looks me in the eye . She is too intense/extroverted socially rather than withdrawn and introverted.so I am very confused.

Could this be autism? Can children with an ASD appear normal sometimes?

She could have autism/ASD but all those things sound quite normal for many children.

bonjen3

sounds like she is on the spectrum to me, go and get her assessed. Dont rely on school reports either, they dont have a clue with asd and girls, especially youngsters who arent deemed to be struggling with the academics

blues

Posters saying she sounds badly behaved are misinformed & show little understanding of children with SEN. She displays traits of ASD and it would be advisable to get this investigated further. A diagnosis can be very helpful to parents, school and child as it clarifies needs and signposts a way forward. You have to understand why your child behaves in a certain way to be able to help them.

The traits you describe are not 'normal' for children of her age as another poster suggests.

GreatBigBookcase

It's always worth getting professional advice if you have concerns about your child. I agree with MrsBones that knowledge is power when it comes to children with (suspected) SENs...having a diagnosis shouldn't be seen as a bad thing, it should be seen as the first step in getting you and your child the support you need. I think the advice given re speaking to her teacher, and then possibly a Dr if the teacher confirms your concerns, is good advice.

Have you heard of social stories? These are stories that are often used with young children, especially those with ASD, to help them learn social and life skills. It's something you can read with your child yourself to help her understand better how to behave in specific situations. You might find that these help.

Good luck.