nosey friend

missindecisive

How do you deal with nosey people? I have a friend who seems incredibly nosey, shes a lovely person who would do anything for you but she just can't seem to help poking her nose in!
She will drive past my house, to see what Im doing or if I am in.
If im visiting a friend, she spots my car and asks what we were talking about when I was there.

She asks lots of personal questions, and studys my every move. Eg If im walking with my husband and we are not actually chatting, shes assuming we have had an arguement. She always wants to know what Ive been doing/am planning on doing. Its doing my head in!

im putting it down to her own personal insecurities as to why she is like this as otherwise she is a lovely person. Ive also noticed she gets jealous easily and seems to like to tease me if perhaps I do something that perhaps she would like to (like book a nice holiday or buy a new outfit)
Any advice on how to deal with this please! Because im now finding it tempting to tell a few fibs and wind her up a bit !

londonsurrey

In what ways does she show she's a lovely person?

kwiseman

Maybe just tell her that you're finding it uncomfortable about how often she seems to be intruding in your life. Be nice, and assure her that she's still a friend but needs to take a step back and leave you be once in a while. I'm sure if she's a good enough friend she'll be understanding.

Can be tempting to maybe wind her up, but be careful not to say anything that may actually cause more troubles in the future.

missprice

fudge the answers until she gets the message

like if she asks what you were talking about to mr X
answer is
oh this and that and the sky being blue.

if it did you have a row with hubby as you were not talking last time I saw you walking just fudge with when?, where?, what time?,and who was I with ?
oh I don’t recall sorry.

but she sounds like a stalker type so probs best get rid

SavingPennies_2

I'm a very private person and can't stand nosey people! Maybe when she asks a questions just reply with a question to her. Like "me and OH and fine thanks but how is your relationship going these days?"

I dont mind so much when it's somone who is also happy to talk about themselves and thier own private life, what I hate is when people think its okay to ask everything about you but wont give away any details about themselves. If that makes sense...

colindavings1983

I say fight fire with fire. next time you think she's about to ask you one of these nosey questions, ask her what she's been up to/ where she's been/ what she was talking about to whoever she was talking to etc etc. She'll soon realise how annoying it is and will also deny her the time to keep asking you!

Desperado99

missprice wrote: »

she sounds like a stalker type so probs best get rid

Yup! I'd get rid!

My Dad's way of dealing with nosey people is to tell really outrageous porkie pies (like the time he was having a spring clean and told someone he was fitting an indoor hot tub - people are so gullible :rotfl:)

So either that or tell her to mind her own beeswax.

fannyanna

I think the best thing to do is to provide very short and non detailed answers to the questions that you find nosy. After a while she'll probably get the hint that you're not comfortable with the discussion.

On a general note I'm a bit curious about this subject. Where's the line between showing an interest in someone and being nosy?

surfboard2

Sounds a bit like someone i used to know.

Errata

It sounds like she's taking an extremely unhealthy interest in your life, and thatcoupledwith her jealousy is not the basis for an equitable friendship.
In what way do you benefit from being friends with her?

Marshflower

I couldn't bear that!! The very thought makes me shudder. I'm an open person, but on my terms. If I feel some one is prying I shut down like a clam shell! I would deal with your friend by really distancing myself. I couldn't be close to someone like that. If you don't want to do that theaybe every time she asks you something you don't wantto answer say "why do you ask?" Or even just constantly "not much/nothing much/can't remember" to anything you don't want to answer.