DLA, ESA and New Boyfriend

Scarlett_W

Hi

I currently receive the lowest care rate DLA and income-related Employment & Support allowance for depression and severe anxiety since 2011, although I'd been suffering with it for approaching 10 years prior. I got my most recent letter from the DLA people saying I'm getting it until 2018.

On my forms I always write about how difficult it is for me to get motivated to do anything, how I can't leave the house without somebody I know well being with me, and they list that as one of the reasons that I'm entitled. I only leave the house at all once a month usually, to see my GP to get my prescriptions repeated.
My mother and sister are listed as my carer's, as they go out for me to get the things I need, make sure I take my meds on time, all that stuff, and I live with them too.

However, just recently I've started "dating" a man I met online. I've known him for six years now but it's only just become serious.
I'm worried about how this is going to affect my DLA/ESA, and my anxiety levels are currently going wild over it.

I saw him for 2 days last month, and next week he's coming by car to collect me and take me to his house just over 100 miles away for a few days. He'll never leave my side. The whole reason he's driving 100 miles here and then another 100 back with me is because I can't face going anywhere alone.
These have been the only times, apart from 1 GP appointment and 1 dentist appointment (both times with my mother present) that I've been outside in the past two months. But I'm still terrified that if anybody saw me out and about with him alone, by all appearances doing normal things, even though I'm medicated throughout to keep my anxiety under control, that's grounds to take away all my benefits.

Should I get in touch with the DLA/ESA people to tell them about my new boyfriend? Do you think they'll tell me I'm better now and it's time for me to find a job and take the money away?
I am so upset and anxious over this - I've come close to breaking things off with him because I need the money to survive. I just don't know what to do.

Any advice at all? Am I right to be so worried?

rogerblack

You can be reported at any time, by anyone.
I was, and once I explained the circumstances, no action was taken.

If your condition has changed significantly - notify them.
Can you face going out/... alone?
Or the other things that are causing you problems still there?
If you move, he moves into your place, then you must let them know, and your ESA may come to an end due to his income.

Scarlett_W

Thanks for the reply.

I'm relieved somewhat to know that even if I'm reported, I will get to explain the situation.

I can't face going out alone, no, but with somebody I know and like, I deal with it better. Although having said that, I do have to have a supply of my anxiety medication on hand. I utterly embarrassed myself in a coffee shop until I took some, last time I went out for non-medical reasons, almost a month ago.
Other than starting a new relationship, having him visit me and take me out once a month, nothing's changed at all.

We're not planning on moving in together, but I do know that if we did I would have to inform them. Thanks.