Complicated next of kin problem

withoutusinghands

I have a rather complex problem I hope you can help/advise me on.

My 48 year old step brother has advanced Multiple sclerosis and has now been diagnosed with dementia. His wife has decided that she wishes to divorce him and has placed him in a care home, where although the care he receives is very good, he is by far the youngest person there. She has also relinquished all responsibility for his financial & medical needs (the care home is paid for out of his savings) as i was going to take these over. The problem is that all the changeover from her to me has been frozen due to his being diagnosed with Dementia, as he isn't of sound mind and body. The legal firm his wife appointed to handle the divorce from his side and the transfer of responsibility have said they cannot discuss anything with me as I don't have authority to do so.

This has led to a real stuck in limbo situation.

His wife appointed a solicitor to handle the divorce on his behalf and from the same firm, another one was to handle the transfer of authorisation to make decisions from her to me, but this is now held up as the specialist who diagnosed the Dementia has yet to confirm this in writing to the solicitor.

The issue with this is that even when they receive this, it will not help my brothers situation or help with the transfer of authority from his wife to myself.

The solicitor is naturally reluctant to tell me anything due to the Data Protection Act and to be quite frank, getting information from them that isn’t a breach of the act is frustrating. Our parents are both disabled pensioners in their 70’s so naturally I wish to make the transfer from his wife to myself as smoothly as possible and remove the concern and worry our parents are naturally experiencing.

Add to this, that the divorce is going ahead and we are powerless to assist or know what is happening – they have a joint mortgage of on a property which his wife is residing in although my brother is in a care home (with approx. monthly costs of at least £3000 – being paid from an account he has but we are not authorised to see what the balance is or payments going in and out of). She claims that he will receive a payout roughly half the value of their house but we don't know whether this is from the sale or if she's buying him out (or how she came to the amount).

As I said, this is quite complex!

I have read through a number of websites but they mainly deal with someone preparing their estate and finances in the event of being diagnosed with dementia. All I have managed to find is information on the Enduring power of attorney and lasting powers of attorney, but this would incur financial costs which I and we are not in a position to finance. Some so-called support companies just refer us to citizens advice - but as i work i can't just take a day off and sit there hoping to get to speak to someone!

So, in conclusion,can anyone suggest how we can proceed and if there are any other options on becoming someones “next of kin” that will not lead to any exhorbitant costs?

thanks in advance

meritaten

first of all - CAB tend to work an appointment system now - so you phone and hope to get apt in a couple of weeks.
I think the organisations you really should speak with are MIND and the charities associated with Multiple Scleroris - they WILL have come across similar situations and could either advise you or point you in the right direction for legal advice.

seabright

You need to start Guardianship proceedings, so you become his Guardian. Look at the website for the Office of the Public Guardian (or similar, the exact name escapes me at the mo).

I am not happy with the idea that both divorce solicitors are at the same firm - a reciepe for a conflict of interests. A firm is only able to represent both sides in a case in very, very limited circumstances.

Not all solicitors firms do Guardianship work, it's quite specialised, so be sure to go to a firm that do it, rather than who just do general family & probate law.

seabright

Also, (and it's a long time since I did any family law), it seems odd the divorce can proceed if he no longer has the mental capacity. Do you know which ground she is divorcing him on? She may have to wait for 5 years for a "no consent" divorce. But, as I say, I am a bit rusty on family law

Annisele

You could try getting in touch with the Alzheimer's Society (despite their name, they help people with all kinds of dementia - and their relatives).

They also publish factsheets, including ones specifically aimed at younger people.

I can't think of a gentle way to put this - but does your brother still have capacity to appoint you as his attorney? The fact he's been diagnosed with dementia doesn't necessarily mean he can't do that; what matters is whether he understands he's appointing you (and the consequences) at the time when he does it.

If he's not able to appoint an attorney, then I think sooner or later somebody is going to have to be appointed as guardian (by the Court of Protection). That isn't cheap - but I suspect it's as much his wife's problem as anyones. Like seabright, I'm not convinced the divorce can proceed smoothly if he can't consent to it.

withoutusinghands

thanks for the advice everyone. My brother doesn't have the capacity to appoint me - his dementia has been very rapid. HIs wife has pretty much cut off all contact with us but when asked why she was divorcing him she claimed it was to help him financially - just can't see how!

The solicitor issue is one that i'm very concerned about. Not only are they handling the divorce for both parties but also handlng the transfer of next of kin (well. they were before the dementia was diagnosed) and his will....